I am such a gossip and I HATE it

[WhatsMyUsername89]

I’ve taken the past few years to really work on myself and try to become a better version of myself.

but I still feel terrible. I am such a gossip, I can’t keep my mouth shut. I have to tell someone. I really don’t know why I struggle so much, it’s definitely a family trait as I know all family members are the same.

Friend A will ask about Friend B and instead of me saying a short and sweet answer I have to tell everyone everything.

then I spend days/weeks riddled with complete and utter guilt.

I have improved on this area but I still really struggle with it. I don’t know why and I don’t know how to stop. Please be kind, I know I am a terrible person but I really want to be a better person.

I don't slag people off behind their backs or even say negative things, but I do talk about my friends' lives to other friends, and they do tell me about their friends too, we share experiences, thoughts, and events, sometimes it is surprising, sometimes quite boring, but it's more a sharing of life than 'ooh, guess what happened', although there is sometimes a bit of that as well. I'm more than happy for a friend of mine to pass on what I'm up to, what choices I've made, what I'm doing, how I'm feeling, I just don't care, that's how I know how others think and that's how they also learn about different situations than their own (e.g. I've been bereaved, they learn about that, they've got a troublesome teen, I learn about that and might feel better knowing I'm not alone...)

I don't think exchanging social knowledge, as long as it's not negative, horrible or mean is ok.

I would never share anything someone told me not to share, and I don't share everything with everyone at all.

I don't see it the same as lots on here, obviously!

This is really interesting! I'm actually on here under a different name. I've totally rethought my approach to gossip in the past year and really try hard to avoid negative talk about anyone at all. It just doesn't reflect well on anyone to be involved in it. I can't do it at work as it would be totally unprofessional, especially in the role I do.

That's meant me distancing myself from a few people where the commonality was the gossip we shared.

Like a pp said, it's nice to have a clear conscience.

OP, are you my MIL? Wow, this thread is for her. A terrible gossip who can't help herself but unlike you she takes great delight in other people's misfortunes. I've even overheard her gossiping about her longest-time pal to someone else in their friendship group. I vowed to never tell her anything I wouldn't want the world to know and now she knows I'm on to her she's taken against me. You sound as though you're making huge effort to try and change and I wish you well. Your friends and family will thank you for it x