Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Cultural circumcision in babies/young boys

608 replies

junipermarten · 13/01/2023 14:46

1 of my DS's is circumcised due to a medical issue, he was 3 at the time and it was bloody horrific.

When he was going through it, a good friend gave me tips on after care and offered the number of a private doctor. She has sons who were circumcised shortly after birth for religious reasons.

I personally don't agree with circumcision unless medically required however I respect others choices for religious reasons.

It got me thinking about the high % of boys in the US who are circumcised for cultural reasons, just over 2/3rds. Why is it so prevalent there?

I was having a look at % of male pop per country and the highest were mainly Islamic, but also Samoa was almost 100% which surprised me but apparently its cultural as opposed to religious (I think).

OP posts:
newtb · 13/01/2023 14:49

My uncle was circumcised in France, born in the 20s, his mother was old French nobility sort of family.

NameOchangeO1 · 13/01/2023 14:55

Good article here

Basically it is linked to a culture /system that supports elective medical procedures and which incentivises doctors to offer them.

SnoozyLucy7 · 13/01/2023 14:59

The thing is people nearly always equate anything cultural & religious = good, there for it must be respected, cannot be criticised etc.

But the fact is that there are many cultural and religious practices that are really bad and that need to stopped, banned and out lawed. We need to evolve and move forward.

greenspaces4peace · 13/01/2023 15:03

It was highly recommended during the war era, as it’s theoretically cleaner. It’s just continued since then, somewhat on the basis of sons looking like their fathers.
WHO recommend it as a means of decreasing the spread of AIDS in certain areas.
my father was done, my husband and my boys (born in 80’s). My grandson not.
as a nurse working in maternity/newborn care I’ve assisted and cared for hundreds of patients.

Original poster
junipermarten · 13/01/2023 15:08

NameOchangeO1 · 13/01/2023 14:55

Good article here

Basically it is linked to a culture /system that supports elective medical procedures and which incentivises doctors to offer them.

Why does it not surprise me about it being incentivised 🙄

OP posts:
Original poster
junipermarten · 13/01/2023 15:09

greenspaces4peace · 13/01/2023 15:03

It was highly recommended during the war era, as it’s theoretically cleaner. It’s just continued since then, somewhat on the basis of sons looking like their fathers.
WHO recommend it as a means of decreasing the spread of AIDS in certain areas.
my father was done, my husband and my boys (born in 80’s). My grandson not.
as a nurse working in maternity/newborn care I’ve assisted and cared for hundreds of patients.

If you don't mind me asking, why were your sons done? Did you have conflicting thoughts on it?

OP posts:
Original poster
junipermarten · 13/01/2023 15:11

I'd quite like to hear opinions of anyone who's had it done to their sons for religious reasons, how did you feel, were you conflicted, or was it a no-brainer and there was no thought required.

OP posts:
Original poster
junipermarten · 13/01/2023 15:12

I didn't want to ask my friend about it in case I offended her, which I suppose is why those who are ignorant of other religions etc keep quiet instead of asking questions.

OP posts:
dumbstruckdumptruck · 13/01/2023 15:15

This podcast episode explores this question from a "New Zealander trying to make sense of America" perspective.

Some really interesting stuff in it, if you have time for a listen.

greenspaces4peace · 13/01/2023 15:15

No conflicting thoughts what so ever. At the time it was routine and involved less thought than picking a name.
as in the article in line with vaccinations, just simply a done thing to prevent potential complications.

imisscashmere · 13/01/2023 15:24

DH is American and circumcised. We live in London. While I was pregnant with DS he was adamant we would circumcise him - I guess so that they would be the same?

I just kept quiet.

After DS was born, DH openly expressed horror at the idea of getting him circumcised and happily conceded “he can just be a little turtleneck” ☺️

WhatHaveIFound · 13/01/2023 15:24

We were offered the option when DS was born (2004) but I turned it down. I presume the midwife assumed I'd accept for cultural reasons due to my skin colour.

greenspaces4peace · 13/01/2023 15:27

@imisscashmere love the turtleneck comment made me smile.

Xmasgrinchywinchy · 13/01/2023 15:34

My boys were done for religious reasons. I had no hesitation with my eldest but by the time I had my youngest felt really uneasy about it. My husband was adamant it was non negotiable but my feels were of unease and starting to question why it was done but I didn’t feel strongly enough to put my foot down although I really remember thinking, what is the real point of all this

I still feel extremely conflicted about just why on earth it’s still the done thing. I can’t get my head around it. Having said that, I have had conversations with my eldest who is now an adult about it and he has no issues whatsoever that it as done and would want his own child done: my partner also feels the same way and had he had a boy, he has girls, would have done it without question, my husband also felt it was utterly non negotiable. None of my male friends have any issue with doing it or having had it done and all of the ones who have had children with someone not of their religion have had their children done.

I certainly wouldn’t be upset if my children took the view they didn’t want to do their boys where as my own parents would have felt it a massive betrayal of our background and culture.

Original poster
junipermarten · 13/01/2023 15:39

Thanks for the insightful replies. Really interesting.

I will make time to listen to that podcast, thanks.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 13/01/2023 15:42

It should be illegal to have bits of skin removed from your child unless a medical professional recommends it.

Hadjab · 13/01/2023 15:43

I didn't have my son circumcised when he was a baby, although it's common practice in our family to do so, as I felt it wasn't necessary. He had to be circumcised three years ago at the age of 18 as his foreskin became tight. He asked me why I didn't get it done when he was a baby...

greenspaces4peace · 13/01/2023 15:44

@junipermarten in my experience when it’s done early it’s a very simple procedure.
the later it’s done the more complex.
your son being older obviously really impacted you.

lunar1 · 13/01/2023 15:46

I didn't get my sons circumcised at birth for the same reason I didn't get their leg amputated. If it's a problem in the future it can be done, otherwise it's probably best not to chop bits off our children.

RampantIvy · 13/01/2023 15:54

Surely, the original cultural/religious reasons for having it done don't apply in 21st century first world countries?

SnoozyLucy7 · 13/01/2023 15:59

RampantIvy · 13/01/2023 15:54

Surely, the original cultural/religious reasons for having it done don't apply in 21st century first world countries?

But that’s the thing. People get it done “because that’s just what we do” or “we’ve always done this”. They do it also because their religious leaders tell them to, but so often these holy men and cultural traditions are never questioned, regarding this. So often, it’s not an informed choice, in an way.

FlickFlackTrap · 13/01/2023 16:02

Hoppinggreen · 13/01/2023 15:42

It should be illegal to have bits of skin removed from your child unless a medical professional recommends it.

Absolutely this.

mamacattiva · 13/01/2023 16:03

My sons are all circumcised, it’s the norm in my culture. When they were all born the GP surgery (NHS) sent out a leaflet along with along with all the other letters that had the contact details for the local circumcision clinic. Lots of people from all walks of life in the busy waiting room.

NeverHadANickname · 13/01/2023 16:05

I work with children in the US, as well as having had my own son here. My own son is not circumcised but 100% of the boys I care for are, including one who's family delayed his vaccinations because they didn't want to inflict them on him from such a young age. None of them are for religious reasons, it is sort of expected they will be circumcised when born. When I told the doctors I didn't want circumcision, most of them said that was a good thing but maybe they just said that 🤷‍♀️

keepaweatheredeye · 13/01/2023 16:14

@lunar1 you are spot on. Imagine being so indoctrinated into a religion that you'd remove a part of their body.

Horrific practise.