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NOW I AM OLDER..........

3 replies

ladyhawk · 04/12/2004 10:38

NOW I AM OLDER HERS WHAT IVE DISCOVERED
1 i started out with nothing,and i still have most of it
2my wild oats have turned into All Bran
3i finally goat my head together now my body is falling apart
4 funny i dont remember being absent minded
5 funny i dont remember being absent minded
6 it is easier to get older than it is to get wiser
7 the only time the world beats a path to your door is when you are in the bathroom
8 if god wanted me to touch my toes he would have put them on my knees
9 its not hard to meet expenses, theyre everywhere
10 6these days i spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter,i go somewhere to get something and then wonder what im hereafter

sound familiar to anyone????
anyone got any others

OP posts:
ladyhawk · 04/12/2004 11:11

no one...
how about these
you know your marviously mature when
1 you and your teeth dont sleep together
2 when happy hour is a nap
3 getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot
4your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer
5 your back goes out but you stay home
6 everything hurts and what doesnt hurt doesnt work

OP posts:
dogwalkinginawinterwonderland · 04/12/2004 11:35

Not got any other lh but enjoyed reading this and definitely sympathising . . .

NutRoast · 04/12/2004 13:32

You and your teeth don't sleep together.

Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your tights and discover you aren't wearing any.

At the breakfast table you hear "snap, crackle, pop" and you're not eating cereal.

Your back goes out but you stay home.

When you wake up looking like your passport picture.

It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

When happy hour is a nap.

When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does..

When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it.

When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.

When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.

It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired

Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.

You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.

It takes twice as long - to look half as good.

Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work.

You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.

You sink your teeth into a steak - and they stay there.

You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.

You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore.

You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.

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