Separate bedrooms and a happy marriage

[2021s]

Currently I share I room with DH but I really miss having my own space. We live differently- he is messy and I like to be tidy. We have a spare room and I would like to make it into my bedroom. A lovely space for me to relax in. He also snores and regularly disrupts my sleep so I do crave a quiet night. He thinks that it’s a bad idea to have a room each. He loves sharing a room with me. Does anyone have separate bedrooms and still have a great marriage and relationship? We have been together for 17 years, two teenagers, happy normal life really though sex life could be better.

He snores, so separate rooms for the last 12 years. It’s bliss. 🤗

DH moved out so I could bedshare safely with DC1 and we enjoyed having our own space so much he never moved back in. I absolutely love it. Having my own bed to myself, loads of room, smells like me. Sometimes the kids hop in beside me for a cuddle in the night which is heaven.

Yes we do and we've been together 21 years in may. Got married September 2021. We are much happier since having separate rooms.

Oh and we have more sex than we ever did now

He loves sharing a room with you but not enough to tidy up after himself...

@StarsSand
He loves sharing a room with you but not enough to tidy up after himself...

haha yes!! Exactly! I’m already on Pinterest getting inspiration to decorate the spare room

@Flowersinthebasement

separate houses is truly living the dream

Definately go for it.

I'd never want to give up my own bedroom. If I ever move in with a man longterm, I'll be making sure I have my own room. And ideally, my own bathroom too.

We can each both just take turns bringing the other one...breakfast in bed ;)

Agree 🤗🤭

Yep .I have slept in main bedroom for years…husband sleeps in any room that is free! He genuinely doesn’t care . The dog gets confused though 🐶😅

I couldn't do it. I'd break my heart if he suggested it. I love everything about it. The cuddles, the warmth, pillow talk, middle of the night bad dream support, sex... Everyone is different though. You have to meet the physical and emotional needs of your own relationship on only you and DH know what they are x

@Mumma

I loved all of that in the early years but life is very different now. Not in a bad way but it’s different

Others still have that though (unless the relationship is already breaking down). Just that when it's time to actually sleep, everyone sleeps in comfort/where they're more comfortable. x

Us too.

I can't stand the snoring. It keeps me awake, then I nudge him and he gets irritated too.

Much better sleeping in different rooms. We watch tv in bed together then scoot off to our own rooms!

People are often in total shock where I tell them.

i have talked to my dh and thanks to all these fab comments have presented a convincing case that it’s won’t mean the end of the marriage and instead could mean a much happier one. He’s on board with the idea now. All good - thank you. Cannot wait to get a lovely undisturbed nights sleep!

In the early years I worked away a lot so had a bed to myself during the week and we shared at the weekend (or if I was in the local or main office). After the girls left for college OH was seriously ill and moved into one of their rooms. He's a lot better but still uses the girls room, we each have 'visiting rights' to each others bed and being older have the occasional cuddles and nap in the afternoon. Sex isn't an issue, what I found a bit odd was we used to lie in bed and talk, it was where we discussed personal or intimate things. Being in seperate rooms we needed to start making an effort to discuss things we used to talk about in bed.