Me or I? English grammar advice

[Rabbitsandhabits]

I’ve lived most of my life in the U.K. but was school abroad with a different first language until I was six and I think I missed out on this being taught formally.

I’ve looked it up so many times over the years and I still never know which is right. Even the short cuts about saying it back to front to see which sounds right don’t help me.

does anyone have a simple explanation of when to use me and when to use I?

I went to the shops -> Fred and I went to the shops.

It was given to me -> It was given to Fred and me.

Subject -I - doing something
Object - me - doing to me or for me

"I" if you're the person doing something. "I saw Fred."
"Me" if someone else is doing something to you. "Fred saw me."

That's how I do it, can't tell you the rule.

You could try replacing I with He and me with Him and see which sounds right. it is different types of pronouns but I couldn't tell you the rule.

If you’d use ‘we’ (we went to the shops), it’s Fred and I.
If you’d use ‘us’ (leave us alone) it’s Fred and me.

Although I’ve seen a flaw- we say done by me but I think the above is a good general rule

To check which one you need in the second lot of sentences above, take out the other person and see if it still makes sense.

Bob and I are going to the park (‘I’ because if you were on your own you’d say I’m going to the park)

the ball hit bob and me (‘me’ because if you were on you own you’d say the ball hit me)

that’s how my mum taught me anyway !

No-one is taught this formally.

I is the subject of the sentence, doing the action.

Me is the object of the sentence, both direct and indirect, having the action done to them.

I ate the apple. Mary and I ate it.

The apple was eaten by me.
Mary gave the apple to me.

I take the other person out of the sentence and see if it still makes sense.

Do you mean something like "my friend and I went to the shops"? It would be I as you would say "I went to the shops". If it was "he spoke to my friend and me' it is me as you would say "he spoke to me'". Adding the friend makes no difference to whether you use I or me in the sentence..

I’m not sure if it’s strictly correct but I go by the rule the sentence should make sense if you were to take out the other person.

If you’re not sure, simply use “myself”. That way you can remove all doubt, because you’ll already know you’re wrong. 😉

If you are talking about 'me and someone else', list the other person first.
'My husband and I' not 'Me and my husband'.

Was just going to say this - remove the other person and whichever you’d use without them in the sentence is the correct one.

I don’t think you missed out on it being taught formally though - I don’t remember ever being taught it, I just picked it up from reading a lot. And I know lots of people born and bred here in the UK who will still use the wrong one. So I wouldn’t worry about it too much!

And never, never use "myself" instead of "me"!

Eg "Any questions, please ask Jenny or myself." Ugh!

@DogBowlsAreMyWeapon Cross post!

I can’t see a flaw. “Done by me” follows the same rule.

Yes, exactly.

That's the 'rule' I use.

Tbf @puppydisaster , OP might be an estate agent, in which case she should use myself as standard.

Myself thinks yourself is winding theirselves up.

🙂

This is what I have always done.

What's your first language OP? Does that have different first person subjective and objective pronouns? My foreign language knowledge is limited to French, German and Spanish, and all of those embarrassingly poor, so I'm unlikely to be of much practical help to you though.

This is how it was explained to me at school. Take the other person out, it will be obvious which one you should use.