Me or I? English grammar advice

[Rabbitsandhabits]

I’ve lived most of my life in the U.K. but was school abroad with a different first language until I was six and I think I missed out on this being taught formally.

I’ve looked it up so many times over the years and I still never know which is right. Even the short cuts about saying it back to front to see which sounds right don’t help me.

does anyone have a simple explanation of when to use me and when to use I?

That's how I learned

Any sentence where you would say I, still say I. Kim and I think so anyway.

Any sentence where you’d say me, it’s me. That’s the rule for Kim and me.

This is not hard.

Yes, this is the problem, so many seemingly intelligent people use “I” incorrectly that you are probably thinking you are wrong when you are in fact right. DH and I are always yelling at the TV, it’s rife in voiceovers etc where you’d think there would be an editor involved who would notice it. I have a feeling that even the King bollocksed it up in his Christmas speech.

Ah no, I tell a lie, Charles made the other related error in his speech- incorrect use of “myself” instead of “me”.

I am reminded of the deeply touching letters, cards and messages which so many of you have sent my wife and myself

Hate that one!

@Rabbitsandhabits

i think it's very difficult because people get it wrong al all the time, so you're probably thinking you're wrong when you're not!!

I grew up saying things like 'he gave it to DB & I'. I know it should be ME. But it just sounds wrong to me

if I think about it, I'm pretty confident I get it right, but when chatting I'm sure I don't!

Generally, you can follow the rule of "killing off" the other person in the sentence and if it makes sense, it's correct.

For example, "Tim and me went to the beach".

"Me went to the beach" doesn't make sense but "I went to the beach", does.

In relation to a verb, I is the nominative eg I does the verb- I am jumping, I jumped etc
Me is the accusative eg has the verb done to it. He jumped over me.

I'm not sure about your examples using 'by me' as I think that might be the dative case rather than accusative.

It doesn’t matter in English if it’s accusative or dative. Me is the same for both.

Take out the other person from the sentence to check which sounds right:

The house belongs to my husband and I
The house belongs to I - no
Clearly, the house belongs to my husband and me

Keanu and me went on holiday
Me went on holiday - no
Keanu and I went on holiday.

Also worth noting -

"It is I", "that was he", "Is that they?" are all technically correct.

However, many many people would say "it's me', "that was him", "is that them?" - because we learn language by recognising patterns, and I, he, they at this point in a phrase is unusual. Once a thing is technically correct but widely ignored, people will often be guided by usage.

I would say "that's me" in almost every context and would avoid writing either formally outside a language exam.

@Feelallright yes that's true! I suppose I naturally opt for the nominative/accusative examples in these situations

Apologies for using DH, but the late Queen used to start a speech with 'My husband and I', presumably to avoid starting with I.
It was a joke. HMQ was the most important person in the land so she was usually addressed first. But politeness says that you put yourself at the end of a list of people.
So everyone else would say "your Majesty, Lords, Ladies and gentlemen, ..." but HMQ would, uniquely, apparently rank Prince Phil above herself. A joke.

Yes, Charles did the "myself" thing, but Prince William often does the "Catherine and I" thing when he should say "Catherine and me."

As in "This means so much to Catherine and I." The test so many people are suggesting would work well here: he would never say "This means so much to I."

I is the first person singular subject pronoun. eg I watched, I ran, I bought

Me is the first person singular object pronoun. Me refers to the action of a verb being done to eg My children asked me, My brother watched me play football .

So many people are saying that they weren't taught this in school. I was (in the US), including the case names. I'm pretty old, though. What are they teaching these days?