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Original poster

Polite ways of telling guests it’s time to leave

104 replies

Iwritethissittinginthekitchensink · 07/01/2023 18:13

I want to get better at this - enjoying people’s company in my house eg for an afternoon or evening, but when enough is enough how to politely indicate it’s time to wrap things up and for them to go?

Just wondered if anyone has stock phrases you rely on!

OP posts:
SuperGinger · 08/01/2023 00:01

Have you called an uber?

SeaToSki · 08/01/2023 00:04

Well this has been fun, when shall we plan our next get together for? Get phone out and look at calendars while standing up. Maybe we should plan to start earlier next time as I am always ready for bed by (in half an hours time)

stand up, do you think you could help me by bringing your cups etc into the kitchen before you head out. I always like to get the dishwasher on at the end of the day

Thank you so much for coming over, I really enjoyed seeing you, lets do this again soon..stand up and did you have a coat or umbrella..while looking around

Im so sorry, I am going to need to kick you out now, its been a hell of a week and I just cant keep my eyes open any longer

ok time to wrap things up. If i dont get the dc to bed soon there is going to be an almighty melt down and you are not going to want to be around for it.

oh god, look at the time, its 8oclock already. I was having such a good time with you i didnt notice, lets do this again soon

the best way though is to be very specific with the invite.

Lets do drinks and dinner from 6-9 as Im not good later in the evenings

come over for tea at 4 and the kids can play for an hour afterwards. We can end at 6.30 so all of the dc can be in bed on time.

spiderlight · 08/01/2023 00:06

Apparently in Germany there's a phrase that translates to 'I have been visited enough' and it's perfectly acceptable to just come out with it when you want people to go. We need to adopt it!

GrumpyPanda · 08/01/2023 00:12

C1N1C · 07/01/2023 19:35

We have one friend that really doesn't take the hint... takeaway arrives, still there for an hour...yawning, still there for an hour... the "early start" line, still there for an hour!

Following for ideas!

Simple. Don't hint. Plenty of examples of straight - but friendly - talk on here.

Cornelious · 08/01/2023 00:15

I would say 'one for the road anyone?' About 20 minutes before you want them to leave them ask how they're getting home and if they need me to order a taxi.

inloveandmarried · 08/01/2023 00:19

It's a bit late as I hope they have gone by now.

You can say 'would you like a last drink before you head off?'

You are being hospitable but also indicating their leaving time.

808Kate1 · 08/01/2023 00:21

Put the big light on.

MermaidMummy06 · 08/01/2023 00:25

I start cleaning up & telling DC to go have showers etc. I make DH help too or he sits & chats so he doesn't look rude & it ruins my message!

One friend just gets up & announces she's off to bed. Sometimes it's at 8pm! I know she does this because her DH encouages people to stay as he's very sociable, so she just does her own thing, but it IS kind of uncomfortable as she's MY friend!

percypal · 08/01/2023 00:29

So British of me but I am cringing at the thought of the suggestions where it makes it obvious you want them to leave without really saying it or by saying it in passing eg ‘a cup of tea before you go’.

For me I think it would be easier to just be blunt and say ‘I’ve had a lovely evening but I’ll need to be heading to bed soon as I am absolutely knackered’. At least that’s a short, sharp, shock.

When we had guest recently I suppose we did sort of naturally stop offering such regular drinks etc as we were ready to wind the evening up but it didn’t feel like a conscious decision at the time.

absoluteshower · 08/01/2023 00:31

Dramatically jump up onto a chair and shout DID YOU SEE THAT A MOUSE!

percypal · 08/01/2023 00:38

‘Ok, time to wrap things up’ - I would be a bit … surprised maybe if someone came out with this when I was visiting them. I would feel a bit strange I think.

WarmSausageTea · 08/01/2023 01:08

One night, around 2.30, after a very long day, DP’s cousin and her kids are finally in the hallway, about to go. Suddenly she starts talking about French philosophers, and the kids start playing lightsabers with umbrellas, at which point I said ‘Dear god, will you never go?’

Luckily (or not), she has the hide of a rhino, didn’t take offence, and off they went.

senior30 · 08/01/2023 01:16

My dad is a big fan of dropping off to sleep on the sofa, clears everybody out in no time!

Summerfun54321 · 08/01/2023 01:41

Just say "right I've got stuff to do so it's been lovely to see you but it's now time to bugger off" in a jokey way. But that's only if they overstay their welcome past the pre-agreed leaving time. I never give an open ended invitation.

Angrymum202 · 08/01/2023 01:51

Can you turn the lights / heating off on your way out? I’m off to bed.

have done this midday - can confirm it also works 🤣

RicherThanYews · 08/01/2023 01:52

I start playing the keyboard, badly, and wait to see how long it takes them to figure out that I am murdering "Never gonna give you up".

startfresh · 08/01/2023 06:12

twoastars · 07/01/2023 18:18

Would you like another drink/cuppa? Usually prompts checking the time and it's often No thanks I'd better be off or Ok just a quick one then before I go.

Noooo my ILs always say yes. This is the last thing we should do. (Looking at you, DH)

LouLou789 · 08/01/2023 07:27

To those who suggest offering “a last drink” about 20 mins before you want the person to leave, for me that’s usually fairly soon after they arrive (except DGC and their parents)

HeyManIJustWantSomeMuesli · 08/01/2023 07:40

Something like ‘have you got time for one more cup of tea before you go?’

magicscares · 08/01/2023 07:47

With the people who I know tend to outstay their welcome, I give them a cut off point before they arrive. Such as at 3pm we’re going to xyz. Then I can gently remind them of this closer to the time. Seems to work well for daytime guests.

Cheguevarahamster · 08/01/2023 07:56

My great Aunt (in her 90s) used to get up and say she was going to "escort us off the premises" whenwe were due to leave. I am definitely going to use that in my dotage.

seriouslyjaded · 08/01/2023 07:59

All the above only work if your guest picks up on social cues, some don't! 😬

I once dated a man who had NO idea and it was a nightmare. At the beginning of our relationship, he took me to visit friends one night and we sat in their house till 1am him chatting away, while they discreetly yawned and looked at their watches. I was too polite/shy to say anything to him but I was mortified. Throughout our whole relationship he consistently did this. Just sat in friends' house FOREVER. People just seemed too nice and incapable of telling him to shove off. Thanks goodness that's over!!

Today, I'd establish up front that you have plans later. Say 'pop round for a cuppa, though we've got other plans at 5pm..'

Or when you're sick of them, say 'Would you like to take the last bit of cake when you go?' Or 'what time do you need to be home?' Anything with 'home' or 'go' in it usually gets a 'oh is that the time?' sort of response and off they pop.

seriouslyjaded · 08/01/2023 08:02

As a child, our church was always full of people chatting for ages after the Sunday night service. After a certain point, whoever was locking up the building would come in and just start switching the lights on and off as a warning to get out. You could try that too. 😂

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 08/01/2023 08:06

A friend’s brother just used to go upstairs and put his pyjamas on.

Justleaveitblankthen · 08/01/2023 08:38

SarahAndQuack · 07/01/2023 20:56

I live in Yorkshire. I think 'would you like another cup of tea' doesn't quite translate.

Me too. There is no person that I know that would take this as a hint to leave. Why would it? 🥴
It's more, 'loving your company so much, let's have another brew to carry on even longer!'

I have a very straight talking family member who never suffers this type of thing.
Always has something he needs to be doing/somewhere to go/some other project on the go.. Even on Christmas day. 😅