Stopping pocket money due to smoking weed in the house

[losenotloose]

16 year old ds has repeatedly been caught smoking weed in his room. Him and his friends all smoke weed regularly. Although I'm not happy about it, there's not much I can do about it. However, I draw the line at smoking in the house. We've had many screaming arguments about this. I've come to the end of my tether and said if he does it again no more pocket money. So now I have to follow through.

Why do I feel guilty? Well I know partly why, because his friends parents seem to be so liberal and I end up being made to feel uptight, controlling etc. I'm so upset and fed up.

How does it get to the point that he's smoking it in the house in the first place? I'm quite liberal with my dc but none of them would ever dream of doing that and expecting me to say its ok.

He needs to go get a job and stop giving him money! It's enabling him!
I worked from 14 part-time and moved out to he family home at 16. He needs to learn some life lessons here, and you are the one to teach him

Have you considered trying some online parenting webinars aimed at parents of teens? One might be useful.

Don't take any notice of the high all mighty parents on here who say..stop his pocket money… You need to stop his pocket money
🤔

Knowledge is power. Educate him about weed and it’s health impact plus any related legislation. Have clear consequences for smoking weed in your home.

Don’t feel guilty. Please gather as much reliable information that you can about the devastating effects it can have on the mental health of young, developing brains, print it out and leave it in his room to read and digest.

if he wants to continue, he can get a job and finance it himself.

I also agree with him getting a job and hobbies

OP, @Nagado has great advice. Hope you're with DS now repeating it to him. Everyone else is right about long term effects. Who cares what the other parents do? Time to parent, and that goes for your DH too.

Ive taken all manner of drugs when younger, mainly amphetamine and I did smoke hash occasionally. I wouldn't have dreamt of smoking joints in the family home. He's taking the piss op.

Um - no I don't believe they are 'nice' boys. Misguided maybe at best.

No pocket money and no drugs in your house.

It may be boring and fuddy duddy but drugs are illegal and you're not only condoning it, but also paying for it!!

Taking the legalities out of it, young male mental health is precious enough without adding weed smoking into it. I know from personal experience. It's far from harmless.

Report him and his friends to the Police, and pocket money at 16?

What do you do when you find them smoking in the house?
If it happened in my house I’d be going ballistic and kicking the friends out immediately. I’d also threaten to call the police if it happens again and I’d be thoroughly prepared to go through with it.

Don't report to the police because that could really mess up future employment /travel. Explain if you keep on this path u have the potential to fuck ur life up.

This is so feeble. There is loads you can do if you can be bothered.

It ranges from educating him to reporting to the police and kicking him out. You certainly can do lots.

Why don't you want to parent?

And at 'nice boys'.

I read this very intersting, do all you can to put a stop to it

This

If he's old enough to smoke weed then he's too old for pocket money.

Well how is he funding it?

a slippery slope FGS!!! It’s nota gateway drug, he won’t be on crack next week, Jesus wept

Is he 16 in yr11 or 16 in Yr 12? Upper 5th of Lower 6th? I think ot makes a difference re his expectations and those around him.

Can you speak to school in general terms and see if they can get some information out through LA/Police workshops with also a session for parents?

If LV then you have the opportunity for him to move away from this crowd. If LVI then hopefully he is thinking of uni and his future.

I can't believe you are giving him money to buy drugs!

I'd have chucked him out.

All the pearl clutching over a bit of weed, which will probably be legalised in the next couple of years anyway, seeing as it can now be bought freely online and not just the darknet.

How many that have replied here have teenage DC I wonder?!...

OP I've gone through similar with mine, and most young lads are or have experimented (whether the pearl clutchers realise what their little darlings are up to or not).
But as others have said a) smoking anything in the house is massively taking liberties, b) pocket money at 16 is over and above what you should be providing as there's plenty of weekend/holiday jobs about that will have the added bonus of keeping him out of trouble and c) weed really is bad news for teenage brains. It's soooo much stronger now than it used to be. I sat down with my son and we went through lots of online resources showing how much damage it causes to developing brains and it did get the message through.

Time to reinforce your boundaries and expectations for this young man. After a good few months of sporadic education and being consistent in my messages, my son was the only one of his friends that didn't smoke it. Most others have grown out of it at 19 but a few went on to lose jobs, college places and onto doing ket/coke etc and two that I know of got caught up in dealing. The most important thing is to keep channels of communication open so as not to drive it underground. Be as understanding and supportive as possible, as otherwise it can just become a fun, rebellious game to wind mother up..

Good grief, why ?
Stop the pocket money though @losenotloose

Me too your basically feeding the habit