Have you ever fancied/ become attracted to someone with a facial disfigurement or is that something that would put you off ?

[areyoudifferent]

Absolutely no judgment on this what so ever at all so be as honest as you like. Have you ever fancied someone or gotten to know someone that has become really attractive if they have some kind of facial difference. Does some one you know have an amazing personality that outshines their disfigurement?

I'm a single male so I'm intrigued at the answers

Didn't Justin Bieber have Bells Palsy for a couple of weeks? I can understand cautiousness with disclosing the disfigurement but you would get more accurate answers as we're interpreting disfigurement in wildly varying levels.

I like disfigurements and scars. Makes someone interesting. If they are comfortable and have accepted it, it makes them very attractive. Few people are comfortable in their own skin, so those that are are rarer, better.

If my beautiful looking husband developed a facial disfigurement, I'd still love him every it as much.

I don't think I can I can add anything better that WOPTF, but I have to concur. What might be seen as usually unattractive features, become the most beautiful when you are into someone as it's what you associate with them and therefore what you love. That beautiful bend in their nose and that scar across their lip.

To me a person can have an illness/accident that can change their looks overnight so it’s not that important in the grand scheme of things. Personality is more important to me.
A sense of humour is the most important trait for me.

@SleepyCatOnTheLap I have Bell's palsy type condition. I've never had a proper girl friend but have lots of friends and I'm very outgoing but obviously I can't ask actual people on the street what they think of me, but I've always wondered

There's a programme called STRIKE, and the lead character is an actor who has had a cleft (hare) lip. He is unbelievably attractive.

@areyoudifferent

Its difficult to answer that because I didn’t know her well enough to have a conversation about it. I am raised properly so I would never have stared but I had to fight the urge. ( if you think of a condition like the elephant man then that’s the direction I’m going in although she was nowhere near as bad as that) I’m not sure if this is about you wondering about your own appearance but I would say marks, scars, burns etc wouldn’t bother me and as PP have said once you get to know someone you stop seeing them.

The fact you are outgoing is a massive positive too. Can I ask how old you are?

@disgustingtaste I'm 29

Have fancied two men with Bell’s Palsy; one was already a crush when he developed it when we were students the other I’ve now known for decades. Also have found someone with port wine stain on his face attractive. Never had a relationship with any of them because timing and circumstance but totally would have done. But for me it’s less about what someone looks like and a lot more about whether they make me laugh, we connect and share values and they are a good person and bring out the best in me.

Ok. I'm 33 and it wouldn't matter to me if I liked your personality.

It depends what it was. I don't think I could get past a severe disfigurement. Sexual attraction is important to me. However, for me, attraction is a mix of personality and chemistry as well as looks. When I was online dating, a guy messaged me who had facial burns, but he was still attractive. He had lovely eyes and a nice smile. We didn't date as I'd just started dating my husband but his burns didn't put me off. On the other hand a man in a wheelchair who was upfront about the fact he was unable to have sex wanted to date me and I wouldn't consider him.

When I read your post at first, I wasn't sure exactly what you meant.. however bells palsy wouldn't necessarily affect attraction for me either. Attraction is based on far much more than faces imo.

My first dh had been burnt badly when younger - his face and hands were disfigured by the burns. I fancied him for weeks before actually meeting him.

Googled Tom Burke - what scar?

Seal (noticeable scarring), Joaquin Phoenix, Harrison Ford (minimal scarring)- hell yeah!

It wouldn’t put me off at all, I think they’re probably sexier on men though. They can get away with it better imo. I think it’s harder for women, depends where the scar is and if you notice it all the time - if it’s near the eye or on the cheeks.

Personality matters way more but I think someone can still be beautiful even with a scar or “difference”. The same as a physically stunning man /woman can have an ugly personality.

I have a friend with Bell’s palsy although he is much much older than you, he had a very attractive intelligent wife and although they are now divorced, his current partner is equally attractive and intelligent.

However he is a very confident man who is unconcerned about it as far as I am aware, and confidence itself ouzes attractiveness. It is obvious, but just a part of him as far as I am concerned, like his brown eyes etc.

If it helps, I worked in para sport for over a decade and the guys there had all manner of irreversible differences - in my area we had numerous amputations or missing limbs, a few with cerebral palsy, a couple with MS, albinism, and not one of them had a problem getting girlfriends. I suspect it actually filtered out some crap girlfriends - without exception all the partners were just really lovely girls who didn’t really think of differences or disfigurements or disabilities.

@antipodeancanary please research so you don't confuse cleft lip and cleft palate. They are two different things that are not exclusively co-occurring. I know this because my DS had a cleft lip but not palate,which made his 'disability/disfigurement' far less 'severe' and life-affecting than if he had had both.

Incidentally, Joaquin Phoenix denies a cleft lip... But that's another matter.

OP, some people do see past facial disfigurements/differences.

I was once on a bus when a man behind me started talking. He had the most beautiful voice I have ever heard- deep, melodious, gentle- it was so lovely there was no way it could belong to anyone other than a wonderful person. I sneaked a look at him when I got off the bus, and he was very homely-looking, with a pronounced cleft palate scar and sticky out ears. But, oh my god, that voice. I was half in love with him after five minutes and that didn’t change after I saw his disfigured face.

Strike / Tom Burke is a hottie

@Meem321 I assume the please research comment was for me? I'm sorry I thought it was the same thing.

Yes. Years ago there was a contractor who used to come into our place of work. He had a large port wine stain ( not sure of the correct medical term) it covered half his face. He was very charismatic and always had a gaggle of giggling females around him 😁🙃😉

@LoobyDop I love a good voice! So sexy. Did he sound like any celebrity? Curious about his voice now.
I'm told i have a nice voice and have seen people turn to see whose voice it is I always fear they'll be disappointed 😂