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Original poster

Please help - Scared for my daughter

512 replies

Bepis · 31/12/2022 04:33

My daughter is 18 years old but she has special needs so is a lot younger in her mind. She has suffered with anxiety for the past 5 years or so, to the point where it stopped her attending school and she had to be under CAMHS. Her anxiety was mainly around people she didn't know and new situations.

The past couple of weeks have become so difficult and I just don't know what to do or where to turn.

I noticed her hearing things and she would say to me that her stepbrother swore, or I swore etc when that never happened. That went on for a while but now she is panicking if her sister is on the phone. Her sister will talk to her boyfriend in the evening in her room (they have separate rooms) but my eldest daughter is just flat out panicking about it and refuses to go upstairs. When I finally get her into her bedroom, she will not get in bed but just sits on her bed until 7/8 in the morning.

I tried laying with her this morning so she would get some sleep and she managed an hour or 2.

She's also started putting her fingers in her ears whenever someone talks. Not in a rude way but it's become a reaction. This is within the last couple of days.

She says she can hear her sister talking on the phone at 5/6/7 in the morning despite her sister being fast asleep.

She is also zoned out (I can't think of a better way to describe it). Like when I talk, it's like she doesn't understand me. She's also started whispering instead of using her real voice and is even starting to become non-verbal.

I'm so scared, I don't know what's wrong with her and I don't understand.

I took her to the doctors today and they prescribed Sertraline. She had her first tablet tonight. This seems like more than just anxiety though.

Has anyone else experienced this? Im scared and in tears.

OP posts:
kateandme · 03/02/2023 06:34

Silkierabbit · 02/02/2023 11:51

Mine is in hospital with similar. It was very hard to get through the system but what got him hospitalised was someone calling 999 then police took him in handcuffed which was awful. Then sectioned and been in since September. They refused my request multiple times for help before.

Hospital has been awful but has given access to the top professionals from leading hospitals in their field, we have 5 hospital teams involved. It also got an autism diagnosis using 2 hospitals. We have daily access to phychaitrist. We have therapies, all of which he won't engage it. Got meds after refused by GP. It's just so frustrating he was left without help at school and by cahms until completely broken and I have cancer as well. It's just all so underfunded. It's also one route to supported living funding, we don't want that. I think ideal for an engaging child is intensive home treatment but often children beyond a certain point of fear will not engage and its almost impossible to get home treatment intensively. We will get it on release from hospital. It's also proving incredibly hard to get him out. He has not improved in there.

I'm so sorry you've had to and are having to go through all that.its so shit isn't it.i just ca not believe that they treat people with mental illness this way.shit imagine if this was going round how they treated cancer!

kateandme · 03/02/2023 06:35

Bepis · 03/02/2023 06:23

I can't do this anymore

Oh sweetheart what's happening or just everything?

kateandme · 03/02/2023 06:37

HangerLaneGyratorySystem · 02/02/2023 18:11

@Silkierabbit she’s had treatment for a year and is a little better still housebound. She has pure ocd, some contamination ocd and moral ocd, also BDD. We’re looking for more funding from the local clinical commissioners ☹️

Aah Pure ocd the sneaky one that's that's often so hard.

Original poster
Bepis · 03/02/2023 06:40

@kateandme I'm just so lost. I'm in tears. DD refuses to even get into bed and has been like that all night. Im exhausted. She needs to be sectioned. I can't carry on like this

OP posts:
Original poster
Bepis · 03/02/2023 07:02

Phoning GP when they open to try and get her sectioned. She's getting worse and I can't do this without help.

OP posts:
Hairyfairy01 · 03/02/2023 07:13

Have you still got the number for the mental health team? If so phone them, this is way beyond your gp now. Otherwise, and presuming you can't get her to hospital yourself, call an ambulance. I'm so sorry you and your dd are going though this but is does sound like you have done everything possible and it's not improving.

Original poster
Bepis · 03/02/2023 07:17

Hairyfairy01 · 03/02/2023 07:13

Have you still got the number for the mental health team? If so phone them, this is way beyond your gp now. Otherwise, and presuming you can't get her to hospital yourself, call an ambulance. I'm so sorry you and your dd are going though this but is does sound like you have done everything possible and it's not improving.

You are absolutely right. She's now saying that she can hear banging and that there's someone at her sisters window. She says she's going to be kidnapped. I'll take her up to A&E and sit there until they do something if I have to

OP posts:
Greenraincoat12 · 03/02/2023 07:20

I'm sorry this is happening. Just wanted to give you a hand hold right now💐

liveforsummer · 03/02/2023 07:24

Agree you have to go and sit - dont leave til they help

Hairyfairy01 · 03/02/2023 11:01

I hope you are ok OP? You and your DH have obviously done an amazing job so far. But it's not sustainable is it? You will, and sounds like you have, burnt out. You all need help and support. And you have other children to consider. You do have to fight for it unfortunately. Another point to consider is your dd may not meet the 'danger to herself or others' criteria to be sectioned. However not eating or drinking is going to be harmful isn't it. You can also be admitted into a mental health unit as an 'informal' patient. This is relatively common.

Bibbling · 03/02/2023 11:54

OP I am so sorry you are going through this, it sounds like a psychotic episode and potentially schizophrenia.

My DB had a very similar episode and we have to have him sectioned. It was horrific and it was a very difficult number of years. However this was the absolute right thing and was really all we could do In the circumstances.

As an inpatient the docs will be able to really look at your medication and other therapies. I would also urge you to try and protect yourself and the family unit. It was all extremely difficult for us, we battled on but my mother had a hard time

Bibbling · 03/02/2023 11:55

Your GP may have a contact that can do this in a more gentle way than sitting in A&E for hours. Ours helped us get my DB signed in

kateandme · 03/02/2023 11:58

Bepis · 03/02/2023 06:40

@kateandme I'm just so lost. I'm in tears. DD refuses to even get into bed and has been like that all night. Im exhausted. She needs to be sectioned. I can't carry on like this

Oh my luv I'm so sorry 😞. Your poor dd. And you.
Yep.time be be an absolute 💯 nightmare and not move until you are helped.
List all the previous episodes. Fill pages.
All upto last night.
Yes she is at risk.
You all are.
Something is going to happen.
To you or her.
Are they ready for the repucutions of this.
Are they ready for ANOTHER mental health death on their hands
You need help now please.

Nephthys21 · 03/02/2023 12:03

@Bepis rather than spending time at A&E, i would phone the psychosis team or the community mental health team if you've been given their number. Ask to speak to the duty worker and tell them what's been happening. It would be a quicker way to access a psychiatrist who can provide longer term input, rather than being seen by whoever is covering A&E today.

kateandme · 03/02/2023 12:39

Nephthys21 · 03/02/2023 12:03

@Bepis rather than spending time at A&E, i would phone the psychosis team or the community mental health team if you've been given their number. Ask to speak to the duty worker and tell them what's been happening. It would be a quicker way to access a psychiatrist who can provide longer term input, rather than being seen by whoever is covering A&E today.

At the moment they are on their knees.few and far between.unable to help...at least in a&e she'd be safe and actually action will be taken if op stays put.

kateandme · 03/02/2023 12:42

@Bepis I'm here all day. OKnot literally able to be on the thread. But,what i mean is I will reply when I can. I just want you to know your not alone. No matter when I'll be back to check-in ok.

Silkierabbit · 03/02/2023 13:07

It's so hard to get help atm, we had gp attempts fail, they sent letters which appeared to just gather dust somewhere, once in the Mental Health team they made lots of assessment type things but nothing happening fast. Here when I phoned 111 option 2 which is our crisis line which someone answers after an hour they said to avoid A&E if possible as you will be waiting forever and mine that would have sent into a frenzy. Think they said call 999, would ask for ambulance and say in psychosis. Though maybe call crisis line and ask advice. Ours was both, it was the cahms team and 999 were called. We got sent police who were horrific and handcuffed a mute, terrified child. Though not sure as ambulance may call police. But basically we needed 999 and mental health team on phone together. It's better if mental health team can just do but there is so little funding they seem to leave until child completely broken. It could also be worth calling social services, they won't do much but the more people you call the more seriously it gets taken. Mine was sectioned and not a risk to self or others esp but was sectioned for non compliance with treatment.

Whydidimarryhim · 03/02/2023 14:26

Hi op you are having a terrible time. Sometimes prior to adults developing severe mental health issues they present in this way. I don’t know why Early intervention didn’t take her on - she’s not a bloody parcel to be passed around. She is clearly experiencing paranoia and psychosis.
Can you pay for a private assessment - it’s was around £250 - you don’t need to stay private - the assessment can then be passed to the relevant team via your GP -
She’s unwell - I work in mental health and services aren’t great at times.
If you know which community team they have referred her too I’d call them too.
She needs a psychiatrist to assess her. She may need an anti psychotic.
You must be run ragged.
Hope your daughter gets the treatment she knows and you get some peace soon.

SpeedReader · 03/02/2023 15:08

@Bepis I'm thinking of you and your daughter

Original poster
Bepis · 03/02/2023 17:21

Thank you so much everyone. Sorry if I miss anyone's posts or questions, I'm just so overwhelmed at the moment.

My DH phoned the GP and was very firm and assertive. Said we cannot carry on like this and no one is helping. GP phoned and spoke to DH and said GPS can't section people. I don't believe that for a minute. She was saying that she's been assessed by the psychosis team and they deemed her to not be psychotic. DH said "yeah but you and them are not here 24/7 and she was not truthful with the nurses when they came out". The GP sounded way out of her depth and kept stumbling over her words.

They were meant to have a meeting today and they were going to discuss DDs care and if there's anything they can give her to relax her over the weekend. Turns out they had a fire drill and didn't have the meeting so back to the weekend ahead with no help.

When I feel better and a little recharged, I'm going to take her up to A&E and refuse to leave until they help DD and me. I have my own anxiety issues and health problems so don't feel I can physically do it tonight, need to build myself up a little. I've not even had anything to eat or drink today I've just realised.

OP posts:
HazardaGuest · 03/02/2023 17:32

I think you are doing the right thing by taking her to A&E. Get yourself some food/rest and head on down there.

kateandme · 03/02/2023 18:05

Silkierabbit · 03/02/2023 13:07

It's so hard to get help atm, we had gp attempts fail, they sent letters which appeared to just gather dust somewhere, once in the Mental Health team they made lots of assessment type things but nothing happening fast. Here when I phoned 111 option 2 which is our crisis line which someone answers after an hour they said to avoid A&E if possible as you will be waiting forever and mine that would have sent into a frenzy. Think they said call 999, would ask for ambulance and say in psychosis. Though maybe call crisis line and ask advice. Ours was both, it was the cahms team and 999 were called. We got sent police who were horrific and handcuffed a mute, terrified child. Though not sure as ambulance may call police. But basically we needed 999 and mental health team on phone together. It's better if mental health team can just do but there is so little funding they seem to leave until child completely broken. It could also be worth calling social services, they won't do much but the more people you call the more seriously it gets taken. Mine was sectioned and not a risk to self or others esp but was sectioned for non compliance with treatment.

This sounds beyond horrible for all of you! I'm so sorry.can you imagine any other set of illness treated this way. There would be outrage. And yet wonderful families still get up,step up and wear themselves to broken to be the light in their loved ones darkest time.i hope you are ok.

kateandme · 03/02/2023 18:16

Bepis · 03/02/2023 17:21

Thank you so much everyone. Sorry if I miss anyone's posts or questions, I'm just so overwhelmed at the moment.

My DH phoned the GP and was very firm and assertive. Said we cannot carry on like this and no one is helping. GP phoned and spoke to DH and said GPS can't section people. I don't believe that for a minute. She was saying that she's been assessed by the psychosis team and they deemed her to not be psychotic. DH said "yeah but you and them are not here 24/7 and she was not truthful with the nurses when they came out". The GP sounded way out of her depth and kept stumbling over her words.

They were meant to have a meeting today and they were going to discuss DDs care and if there's anything they can give her to relax her over the weekend. Turns out they had a fire drill and didn't have the meeting so back to the weekend ahead with no help.

When I feel better and a little recharged, I'm going to take her up to A&E and refuse to leave until they help DD and me. I have my own anxiety issues and health problems so don't feel I can physically do it tonight, need to build myself up a little. I've not even had anything to eat or drink today I've just realised.

Oh what the devil! A fire drill.come on.
I'm sorry your suffering from this inadequate and frankly incredibly annoying level of care. It shouldn't be like this. You and your dh sound amazing. What a team. She'll need that.
Trust me @Bepis in your moments of deepest despair you remember how much the love and togetherness is literally what drowns a mental illness bastard out.its key.so she has the greatest of head starts.
She might not right now be able to voice or show it but she will feel it.she will feel that warmth in her heart.her lights. I hope you no that.
Get nourished.recharge the weaponry so to speak and ho again.
I've been sat on that floor @Bepis .wanting to cry or scream forever. But you've got this.love is a shit lol it somehow gets us back to our feet.but it does make us say you will not win my lived one you shifty shitty illness.

Hairyfairy01 · 03/02/2023 19:56

Your GP is right, they alone cannot section your dd. And they sounded out of their depth as they are. It sounds like you dd is in a catatonic state and has been on and off for a while. This is not a GP matter, it needs mental health specialists. Do you have the number for the community mental health team and are they 24/7 in your area? If so call them. If not a&e op and be very clear about despite your best efforts you can no longer help.

kateandme · 03/02/2023 22:54

the gp can section with 2 other mental health proffesionals. this can easily be organised.if not they can also get the person admitted to hopsital for that assesment to take place.
the gp VERY MUCH CAN get someone sectioned they are often the gateway and first port of call with one simple phone call to making it happen.
many mental health patient have to go to the gp for checkups as part of their team and codtions of being at home. the gp can and does decide if they are still able to be in the coomunity and can call on the apporpriate people if this is deemed not possibe
this doctor needs to get their finger out and fdo their job.