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Original poster

Please help - Scared for my daughter

512 replies

Bepis · 31/12/2022 04:33

My daughter is 18 years old but she has special needs so is a lot younger in her mind. She has suffered with anxiety for the past 5 years or so, to the point where it stopped her attending school and she had to be under CAMHS. Her anxiety was mainly around people she didn't know and new situations.

The past couple of weeks have become so difficult and I just don't know what to do or where to turn.

I noticed her hearing things and she would say to me that her stepbrother swore, or I swore etc when that never happened. That went on for a while but now she is panicking if her sister is on the phone. Her sister will talk to her boyfriend in the evening in her room (they have separate rooms) but my eldest daughter is just flat out panicking about it and refuses to go upstairs. When I finally get her into her bedroom, she will not get in bed but just sits on her bed until 7/8 in the morning.

I tried laying with her this morning so she would get some sleep and she managed an hour or 2.

She's also started putting her fingers in her ears whenever someone talks. Not in a rude way but it's become a reaction. This is within the last couple of days.

She says she can hear her sister talking on the phone at 5/6/7 in the morning despite her sister being fast asleep.

She is also zoned out (I can't think of a better way to describe it). Like when I talk, it's like she doesn't understand me. She's also started whispering instead of using her real voice and is even starting to become non-verbal.

I'm so scared, I don't know what's wrong with her and I don't understand.

I took her to the doctors today and they prescribed Sertraline. She had her first tablet tonight. This seems like more than just anxiety though.

Has anyone else experienced this? Im scared and in tears.

OP posts:
WilburTheIron · 31/01/2023 16:52

Bepis · 31/01/2023 16:48

I updated the psychosis team and she said that they had made the decision to discharge her from their services and refer onto the Community Mental Health team. She didn't think it was Psychosis as she said it doesn't get better and then worse again. She said it's always there and continues to get worse and worse.

DD really bad today but it is because her Sertraline dose has been increased. It seems to increase her anxiety at first before settling it down.

Do they know about things like her thinking the ice cream man is trying to kill her? If they don’t, they should.

Original poster
Bepis · 31/01/2023 16:55

@WilburTheIron Yes they know all of that, I told them everything.

OP posts:
WilburTheIron · 31/01/2023 16:58

Bepis · 31/01/2023 16:55

@WilburTheIron Yes they know all of that, I told them everything.

That’s good, I’m sorry you’re having such a struggle to get help for your daughter, you must be exhausted and you sound like a lovely mum.

Do they give an explanation for these instances if they think it’s not psychosis? I would be quite blunt with asking them that. From what you’ve said, I wouldn’t say she gets better, it seems pretty consistent over the number of weeks?

Original poster
Bepis · 31/01/2023 17:09

She's completely shut down now and not responding to me when I call her name. Her anxiety got so intense but now she is just sat staring at the floor and not moving.

She did have about a week where she did amazingly well, she was almost back to her normal self and then we had the police visit which triggered her again.

The Nurse said that it's her thought process and how she's living her fears out as if they are happening in real time. We have the added difficulty of her having a learning disability so she doesn't understand concepts that you are I would nor emotions.

OP posts:
WeWillRockyou · 31/01/2023 18:08

When she was visited at home were you given phone numbers to use if she needed extra support/ worsened?

Original poster
Bepis · 31/01/2023 18:34

WeWillRockyou · 31/01/2023 18:08

When she was visited at home were you given phone numbers to use if she needed extra support/ worsened?

We have the 24 hour mental health urgent line. We are doing ok, she's constantly asking if anyone is on the back garden and saying people are after her.

OP posts:
Hairyfairy01 · 31/01/2023 19:05

To be honest it sounds like you need that 24 urgent mental health number now OP.

Original poster
Bepis · 31/01/2023 19:25

Hairyfairy01 · 31/01/2023 19:05

To be honest it sounds like you need that 24 urgent mental health number now OP.

I've phoned them before when she has been worse than this and there's not much they can do as she isn't classed as urgent in the sense of harming herself or others.

OP posts:
kateandme · 01/02/2023 13:06

Jesus.shes literally harming herself by having to live like this! It's not on.shes so poorly. Andbhow do they think people with psychosis live in the community sometimes,often.they are not consistently manic. But your dd is getting worse. This is consistently bad just levels of bad.
She does need urgent attention this is harming her poor lass

WeWillRockyou · 01/02/2023 13:16

I think you should still ring as it should then ne logged that she is worse. When she is next seen they will be able to look back and see that she has been up and down if you ring each time.

Original poster
Bepis · 01/02/2023 13:46

kateandme · 01/02/2023 13:06

Jesus.shes literally harming herself by having to live like this! It's not on.shes so poorly. Andbhow do they think people with psychosis live in the community sometimes,often.they are not consistently manic. But your dd is getting worse. This is consistently bad just levels of bad.
She does need urgent attention this is harming her poor lass

I know but getting any help is near on impossible. Done everything I possibly can. I have resigned myself to being in it alone with DH and DD.

OP posts:
kateandme · 02/02/2023 03:32

i hear you but you have said they said she didnt need the help. but im afriad its ast THIS point you demand/.you disaagree and you tell them you will continue to phone back until omsone helps. you do the same with the gp. and all the lines youve been given. you TELL them she is in crisis and needs help. they rely on your putting the phone down. thye rely on familyd doing it alone.
anyone that gets help has to basically stampede places for it.
the example of a and e and paramedics. you tell and demand they take her and help her. this is not normal this is someone breaking mentally this is someone who needs a proper diognosis and or treatment right now. before something does happen. before its too late. because it will be. this wont get better without help this wont just stop. and suddenly the shit happens and everyone regrets it.
you keep phoning and seeing and demanding they help her

fantasmasgoria1 · 02/02/2023 04:51

They should be doing something for your dd. My sibling is in hospital right now because of a psychotic episode.

Original poster
Bepis · 02/02/2023 06:34

I've just woken up and she had text me this:

"I’m about to be jumped because l looked at there windows now there after me calling me dirty b-tch and F off 4:16am there are about to smash my window up put N is in there the neighbours said now F off because l looked at the window there are about to smash the house because l looked at there window
There are smashing my window when N is sleeping in my bed it’s not good when there come on your window start smashing the window there are angry because l looked at the window D put a touch up to there window to see if anyone was around the back there wasn’t until it kicked off xxx"

N is her stepbrother and D is my husband.

I just don't understand her thought process. On one hand, if she truly thought this was happening, she would be screaming in terror, like she did when our door got kicked but she wasn't. That seems way more than normal anxiety to me though.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bepis · 02/02/2023 06:36

kateandme · 02/02/2023 03:32

i hear you but you have said they said she didnt need the help. but im afriad its ast THIS point you demand/.you disaagree and you tell them you will continue to phone back until omsone helps. you do the same with the gp. and all the lines youve been given. you TELL them she is in crisis and needs help. they rely on your putting the phone down. thye rely on familyd doing it alone.
anyone that gets help has to basically stampede places for it.
the example of a and e and paramedics. you tell and demand they take her and help her. this is not normal this is someone breaking mentally this is someone who needs a proper diognosis and or treatment right now. before something does happen. before its too late. because it will be. this wont get better without help this wont just stop. and suddenly the shit happens and everyone regrets it.
you keep phoning and seeing and demanding they help her

I'm going to have to. I'll send everything to the psychosis team if I have to (her texts, my notes etc). I know they have discharged her but I'm not convinced this isn't psychosis.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bepis · 02/02/2023 06:38

fantasmasgoria1 · 02/02/2023 04:51

They should be doing something for your dd. My sibling is in hospital right now because of a psychotic episode.

How did you get her in there to get her the help she needs? What avenues did you go down? So sorry you are also going through this, it's heartbreaking seeing our children suffer.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bepis · 02/02/2023 06:39

@fantasmasgoria1 Sorry I'm half asleep. I read it as your daughter but just realised you wrote sibling. My brain is fried 😂

OP posts:
HangerLaneGyratorySystem · 02/02/2023 08:32

I posted on 2nd January to say my daughter had similar when she first became unwell I’m not sure you read it because I was saying you won’t get all this emergency help that others were saying you would. I suggested contacting Young minds parents helpline - did that happen? Just to remind you my DD is now in her 5 year of this, you need to do more research about what is available in your area and how you can access it and also think what else it could be - my DD thought the neighbours could get through the walls, went into woods wearing pyjamas, said she was responsible for war in Europe and that god would punish her. She doesn’t have psychosis - it’s severe OCD and I’ve met many other parents now whose kids have similar symptoms. Just saying there are other possibilities.

HangerLaneGyratorySystem · 02/02/2023 08:36

Btw my DD was assessed by four separate psychiatrists and 3 psychologists before she was diagnosed. Took 3 years, then a year on the waiting list after the formal diagnosis.

Silkierabbit · 02/02/2023 11:51

Mine is in hospital with similar. It was very hard to get through the system but what got him hospitalised was someone calling 999 then police took him in handcuffed which was awful. Then sectioned and been in since September. They refused my request multiple times for help before.

Hospital has been awful but has given access to the top professionals from leading hospitals in their field, we have 5 hospital teams involved. It also got an autism diagnosis using 2 hospitals. We have daily access to phychaitrist. We have therapies, all of which he won't engage it. Got meds after refused by GP. It's just so frustrating he was left without help at school and by cahms until completely broken and I have cancer as well. It's just all so underfunded. It's also one route to supported living funding, we don't want that. I think ideal for an engaging child is intensive home treatment but often children beyond a certain point of fear will not engage and its almost impossible to get home treatment intensively. We will get it on release from hospital. It's also proving incredibly hard to get him out. He has not improved in there.

Silkierabbit · 02/02/2023 13:26

Hanger Is your DD getting better treating that as ocd and what type of ocd are they saying.

OvertiredandConfused · 02/02/2023 14:35

A friend of my daughter went through similar last year. It took her going missing and being found by the police - she hadn't gone far - to get her help. She too was sectioned and spent 3 months in hospital. She is now at home being carefully monitored and medication frequently reviewed and adjusted. Still no diagnosis but she has moved from the care of the crisis / community mental health team to the Early Intervention Psychosis team. You shouldn't need to fight so hard, but you do. Just keep going and reach out for support as much as you can.

fantasmasgoria1 · 02/02/2023 16:08

Bepis · 02/02/2023 06:39

@fantasmasgoria1 Sorry I'm half asleep. I read it as your daughter but just realised you wrote sibling. My brain is fried 😂

Ah its ok my brain is often fried! Sibling has paranoid schizophrenia and has done since late teens. They were hospitalised after their first psychotic episode . They were deemed to be a danger to themselves as they were self neglecting etc. They are in hospital now due to another serious psychotic episode. I hope your daughter gets the help she needs. You do have to be very firm with mental health teams sometimes and tell them what you think . You know her better than they do.

HangerLaneGyratorySystem · 02/02/2023 18:11

@Silkierabbit she’s had treatment for a year and is a little better still housebound. She has pure ocd, some contamination ocd and moral ocd, also BDD. We’re looking for more funding from the local clinical commissioners ☹️

Original poster
Bepis · 03/02/2023 06:23

I can't do this anymore

OP posts: