Teenagers refusing to go to parent’s wedding

[AngelicaSchuylerAndHerSisters]

I am keen to get a balanced view on this which is why I’m being vague about the details.
If two teenagers did not like their parent’s choice of spouse, should they be made to go to the wedding? The parent is aware of the feelings which have persisted for some time. The parent involved believes it’s the moral responsibility of the other parent to ensure the teens attend.

I would be gently encouraging them to attend, actually. Not attending a wedding is a big statement and can't be undone. Even if they later improve their relationship with Dad, they won't have been there, won't be in the photos, won't have those shared memories. And although they're almost adults, they may not have fully considered the long-term consequences. Refusing to attend Dad's wedding may permanently affect their relationship with Dad, rightly or wrongly. If the new wife has children, how will they feel about having half-siblings they rarely or never see? If Dad is so upset he disinherits them, how will they feel when Dad dies and the new wife and any new kids inherit and they don't? (I know someone who bitterly regrets falling out with her dad under similar circumstances now it has become apparent she will be missing out on inheriting £1.2 million...) It is just one day. I would encourage them to try to see it as a party/nice meal together as siblings and go.

He’s a deadbeat failure of a father and the new wife sounds like a nasty bitch. Why the fuck wouldn’t he tell them anything? Why exclude them? Vile. I don’t blame them for not wanting to go. I’d say the relationship is all but over. And it’s his fault.

I know of adult children refusing to go to their parent's wedding and there still being a working relationship afterwards so it's possible to disapprove of the choice and stil remain close to the parent.

Your friend is a money grabbing dick. She’s mourning money, not her relationship with her Dad.

OPs ex has barely seen the children since meeting her. They found out about the engagement via social media. Were meant to be bridesmaids but now aren’t. He’s a prick who will reap what he’s sowed with his children.

Of course they shouldn’t be made to go.

In response to the point that it’s a big statement for them not to go to the wedding, it’s a big statement for them to go too. By going they’re saying they’re happy that their father is marrying her when they’re not because she’s horrible to them. If that’s not the message they want to send out, they shouldn’t have to.

Maybe suggest to the ex that they could attend but remind him that when asked in the ceremony if anyone objects they could seize the moment?!