Things you can’t believe your teenager doesn’t know

[Annoyingwurringnoise]

My teenage DS, who went to a Church of England primary school, does not know the song Little Donkey. I am utterly perplexed as to how this can possibly be. He’s been a donkey twice in nativity plays, once at preschool and once at school, but he swears he doesn’t remember Little Donkey.

What things have you found out your teenagers don’t know that’s just left you scratching your head in disbelief?

My teen couldn't answer " how many letters in the alphabet "

My teenage DD was doing an inter rail trip with friends. I did want to be involved a bit, at least know where she was going but she didn’t want that. Well, I said, at least don’t forget your passport. She replied she wouldn’t be needing it of course since she was not flying anywhere, only going by train! I said nothing.
But equally, I am sure that many teenagers would be shocked by how little the grown ups know now about their world. However, Little Donkey is a staple in my eye and so said if primary schools don’t keep it in circulation.

Sad, not said

Oh absolutely, and it’s very clear that I’m not involved in education and I’m largely talking through my hat. I haven’t a clue really about how a cultural rather than religious curriculum for teaching the basic stories of Christianity and the Old Testament could be achieved.
It’s just that I grieve for future generations who might be denied the necessary grounding in the legends and characters shaping so much of our great art and literature, every bit as much as I’m saddened by the rejection of many a great writer on the grounds of difficult language. It won’t be long before plays and books that were once very commonly known are forgotten forever, and the English language impoverished beyond repair, in spite of its absorbing new influences all the time.
(Blimey it’s past my bedtime, and my inner Old Fart is ranting!)

Reminds me of a YouTube video of a US cop administering a road-side sobriety test:
Cop: "Say the alphabet backwards"
Driver: "Go ahead and arrest me. I can't do that, drunk or sober"

My nephew is 20 now but when he left school he still didn't know what order the months of the year went in off the top of his head. I was a little worried but he's doing really well for himself.

My DD17 and we're watching the World Cup final and I was telling her how I'd met a lovely Argentinian girl in the US in 1985 and that the Americans couldn't believe that we got along and didn't argue. DD looked confused and asked why, she hadn't heard of the Falklands War. I explained the whole thing to her and now she knows, I don't think less of her for not knowing, she knows a huge amount of things that I don't know about and now she knows about the FW too. People are generally as intelligent as anyone else, average intelligence covers the best majority of people, opportunity to learn is what creates gaps in knowledge, not intelligence.

The point was that this girl had spent three years being taken to church twice a week, so she should certainly know what the Lord's prayer is.

In France they do. The country is a secular one so you will find no RE lessons in schools, no nativity plays, no assemblies with hymns/prayers etc. They learn about the major world religions in a “this is what some people believe(d)” type way through their history and geography lessons, as well as in art, literature and music, on an as-and-when/need-to-know type basis. It works well. There are a few religious schools (mainly Catholic and Muslim) but not too many and they are both private (i.e. you have to pay) and heavily regulated.
(source: husband is French, was born/grew up there and went through the state education system. We also lived there for 9 years and I naturalised whilst there. Our son is now 4 and enrolled in not exactly a French school but it is Francophone and one closely modelled on the French system, in a third country. His class’ Christmas play/routine this year was about penguins.)

So in short, yes, it’s perfectly possible to learn about religion in a balanced/secular way without being brainwashed. I am not religious myself but don’t think it should be kept out of schools at all. It’s cultural capital and to my mind is required.

Yes, the French policy of Laïcité has a lot going for it.

You’ve reminded me of a book my mother gave me when I was about ten: Every Girl’s Handbook. A mini encyclopaedia, which listed all the states of the USA, all our various (pre-metric) weights and measures, all the monarchs of Britain, basic first aid, identifying trees, etc etc. Fantastic little book, and such edifying books were regular presents: a gigantic atlas, Lamb’s Tales From Shakespeare, a good dictionary, a whacking great book of art and architecture treasures, and so on. (I know I was fortunate in all this, but must emphasise that as presents, they took the place of records, dolls, etc)
Looking back, I’m sure these sources were different from having Google at your fingertips. For one thing, you’d read them devoutly, cover to cover, whereas nowadays you’d surely only investigate such general knowledge from a position of prior selective interest, if you see what I mean.
I’ve still got my Handbook (and the atlas) and the former, though small, is packed with info that’s not much use in day to day living, but is still somehow absolutely essential!

That’s very reassuring. You put it perfectly: ‘cultural capital’, and no doubt in France, with the pride evinced in the ‘patrimoine’, it’s all seen as just an essential part of being civilised enough to enjoy and protect said cultural treasure. It transcends, among citizens, both race and creed, and is powerful and thrilling enough to enthrall anyone who’ll spend time learning about it, free of any superstition.

Oxygenated doesn't mean hitting the air, it is the amount of oxygen transferred to the haemoglobin from the lungs.

I used to work in cardiology, one of the procedures in the cath lab the cardiologist would take samples of blood different parts of the heart.

I'd record the oxygen saturation and end up with 20+ small samples ranging in colour from crimson to a really bright read. It was beautiful to look at (I thought).

Exactly.

They are in use everyday where I work, not a dial up thing, a press button one, surely it's a life skill to know how to use the phone?

I'm in my 50s and it's only recently i worked out why Shaun the sheep has this name🤣🤣🤣🤣

My teen knows the basic bible stories from school and I have explained that a lot of our significant days and festivals originally came from Pagan times and were just appropriated by Christian’s and other religions. He also knows that stories such as Noah’s Ark are just that, they are just stories, much the same as fairytales and folk law.

I think it’s important to understand some of the stories and attitudes from books such as the Bible and Koran, so he can understand where a lot of homophobic and misogynistic attitudes come from.

I’m 50 and can’t remember how many days are in a year, I know it’s three hundred and sixty something.

I think it’s important to understand some of the stories and attitudes from books such as the Bible and Koran, so he can understand where a lot of homophobic and misogynistic attitudes come from

Believe it or not, societies not founded on Abrahamic religions are not bastions of feminism and gay rights.

Sorry, there were a lot of 'nots' in that sentence.

But the idea that societies not founded on the Judeo-Christian religions promoted equal rights between men and women, and that homosexuality was generally accepted is just laughable.

I went to a adult panto with a friendship group (our Christmas night out). It was Jack and the Beanstalk. A comment was made and I joked to the person about not knowing the plot. He didn't, had never heard of Jack and the beanstalk. Middle aged, from England, he'd never eaten parsnips either.

It does boil down to what you read and watch. My girls used to watch old shows/films when my Mum did childcare for me. They liked the cult classic 80's films. They'd pick up my history/sociology books to read. When you used to watch things on YouTube it would bring up suggestions which could help to expand knowledge, but now the likes of TikTok etc has taken over, there's going to be very little learnt.

That's a good point re religious festivals. Every year we get posters not understanding why non Christians celebrate Christmas and it's a revelation to them that it was a winter/pagan festival and like Easter taken over by the Church because people refused to give them up.

My teenagers wouldn't know how to use a landline phone. Why would they? Nobody I know has had one for 10+ years.

Lots of workplaces use landline phones, they've hardly disappeared!

😀

When I was growing up we took a fantastic comic/magazine called 'Look & Learn', which was full of trivia/facts, with (in its later years) a few enjoyable strip cartoons (Trigan Empire anyone?). TV films seemed mostly to be about WW2; WW1 was hardly ever mentioned, not even by the grandparents who fought in it (the 1960s BBC series 'The Great War' was an eye-opener to many). I read a newspaper every day from about 8, just for something to do, although I skipped most of the serious stuff as rather boring. The house was full of books, we read lots because there was little competition, and on boring rainy days we'd leaf through volumes of the Encyclopaedia Brittannica, just for something to do. TV was 3 channels, and apart from Watch With Mother at lunchtime (I loved Andy Pandy, even as a teenager - so surreal!) nothing before about 4.30pm. Weekly Mass was socially compulsory (RC). Overall there were relatively few cultural outlets, so they tended to be pretty universally known.

My kids on the other hand have the whole world in the palm of their hands, and are completely spoiled for choice, so (naturally) tend to focus on things their peers may mention, and stuff they pick up randomly. I've tried steering them to look at culture more generally (politics, foreign affairs, religion ...) but they aren't really that interested, having much more exciting stuff to explore which has social capital in their peer groups.

It's not wrong, it's just different.