Things you can’t believe your teenager doesn’t know

[Annoyingwurringnoise]

My teenage DS, who went to a Church of England primary school, does not know the song Little Donkey. I am utterly perplexed as to how this can possibly be. He’s been a donkey twice in nativity plays, once at preschool and once at school, but he swears he doesn’t remember Little Donkey.

What things have you found out your teenagers don’t know that’s just left you scratching your head in disbelief?

Some years ago I was friendly with a neighbour who had zero religious knowledge... none. She complained about religious symbols at Christmas "they're bringing religion into everything". She had never heard of the Garden of Eden, or Noah, or the Ten Commandments, or Calvary and the crucifiction.

I could understand if she was an immigrant from a non-Christrian country, but she had been brought up in this country.

We never sang Little Donkey at my CoE school in the 1980s. My DC didn't at theirs in the 2010s or 20s either.

Anyway, my 14 year old cannot tell the time. No hope at all on an analogue clock. He can read the numbers of a digital clock, but could not tell you, for example, that 21:00 was 9pm, which is 15 minutes after 20:45 and would be the tone he'd be going to bed on a school night.

That’s the one!

Deep pan, crisp and even

Yes, but don’t try it out on your teenagers, they’ll look at you as if you’ve lost your mind.

@Annoyingwurringnoise

I remember Little Donkey cos my Aunt had the record by Nina and Frederick, a Danish Duo and for some reason had it in my head just before Christmas!!

Hello! ❤️

We need a Venn diagram of “people who complain about teaching of any religious content in schools, even from a strictly ‘belief-neutral’ standpoint,” and “people who express dismay when kids can’t understand cultural allusions or metaphors that are grounded in religion.”

The “core knowledge” people are right, honestly; kids need some basic knowledge of the classics and world religions.

If the schools don’t do it, parents need to do it themselves.

That was to Ibiza. I don’t have the hang of these newfangled threads yet.

God I’m old. 🤣

I agree entirely.

Tbh, I would be embarrassed that I hadn't taught my child some of the things mentioned here.

And now I'm singing a mash up of Good King Wenceslas and Little Donkey in my head.

I work in primary schools and Little Donkey is rarely used anymore. They tend to buy in newer nativities. Both of my children did 'Gabriel's Big Break' at least once, which has completely different songs.

My teen doesn't know how to make me a cup of tea. She's not too keen to learn either!

a friends daughter came round on a Sunday when I was sorting Sunday dinner and was perplexed by the chicken I was roasting wondering what it was. - she only has chicken nuggets. Best of all her auntie owned a local farm tourist attraction where she worked. She was 13/14 at the time.

The joke was on radio 2 on Xmas day. He likes it 'Deep pan crisp and even' 😁

My 13yo has good general knowledge, but also 'knows everything'....
We did a very old quiz book the other where you had to shout out what the job was from a description. The only one she didn't know that I did was ostler. She was much faster than me with everything else.

Worryingly I won on the animal noises round 😂.

My 18 year old was confused as to why I was eating "white grapes" with cold turkey. They were small pickled onions! I know far more about the bible than my dh despite the fact that he goes to mass and bible study group once a week. He obviously doesn't listen.

My kids sing Little Donkey every year at their Primary.

Deep, and crisp and even, yeah?

Say that to a teenager and Dominos will be on the doorstep.

Slightly younger... Cub Scout hike. We stopped to explain exactly what a telephone box was for.

@SilentNightDancer

Tbh, I would be embarrassed that I hadn't taught my child some of the things mentioned here.

Yes this thread could be titled things I haven't taught my teenager.

Mine (23 and 19) didn't know how to use a tin opener until recently.

It was fun to watch 😂

During a game on Christmas day, found out my 19 and 16 year old didn't know who Cameron Diaz was.

My Year 9 class have terrible general knowledge. Things I have had to explain are what an ice age was, glaciers, segregation, the whole South Africa race thing, the whole southern American states race thing, what a recession is and how a depression is different. How soil erosion works, inflation, pensions and compound interest. Quite like explaining this stuff as it makes a change from what I am actually meant to be teaching them.

We didn’t sing hymns at my primary school. We had a fabulous gay music teacher who had worked in the west end so all the songs we sang were from musicals or abba songs!

I don’t know any hymns.

Otoh... why would you actively teach your children who random actors, models, and singers are? Or random carols?

Thats very different to teaching them the basics of major religions or financial knowledge which have also been mentioned. Or life skills like cooking.