Things you can’t believe your teenager doesn’t know

[Annoyingwurringnoise]

My teenage DS, who went to a Church of England primary school, does not know the song Little Donkey. I am utterly perplexed as to how this can possibly be. He’s been a donkey twice in nativity plays, once at preschool and once at school, but he swears he doesn’t remember Little Donkey.

What things have you found out your teenagers don’t know that’s just left you scratching your head in disbelief?

I have a 13 year old who knows next to fucking nothing but is top of the class in Maths and English etc.

My son doesn’t know the Lord’s Prayer or the words to little donkey.

He has only recently mastered how to use a tin opener and still struggles with scissors (he has dyspraxia).

However, at 17, he does know about tax, students loans, mortgages, credit cards and interest rates

My elder Gdcs (6 and 7) know all the words to Little Donkey and sang it to me a couple of hours ago.🙂. They do go to a C of E primary - not because dd and SiL are at all religious, but because it’s the closest.
Gds’ Nativity play was a lovely traditional one - besides Little Donkey the kids sang the Calypso Carol and In The Bleak Midwinter. All very Christmassy. 🎄🎅🏻

I met someone who thought that St Hilda's College was named after Margaret Hilda Thatcher.

Oxford wouldn't have done that! In 1985, she became the first Oxford-educated prime minister since the war to be denied an honorary degree by the university. Academics voted 738 to 319 against her receiving an honorary doctorate of civil law.
news.bbc.co.uk/onthisday/hi/dates/stories/january/29/newsid_2506000/2506019.stm

It shouldn't be classed as food at all! The start of George Orwell's The Road to Wigan Pier should put anyone off the stuff...

I learnt so much from chalet school books!! The number of times I get questions right in tv quizzes or trivial pursuit because of something I read in a chalet school book is amazing!
On another note, my teen knows many random facts, but she loves quiz shows, reading, trivial pursuits and I think was born 80!

DD reads lots of fiction, rarely without a book in her hand. But she doesn't seem to learn factual things from it. She's a history buff, so knows historical stuff, but her general knowledge is so lacking.
I'm just wondering if there is a book that covers most things 🤷‍♀️ Although she tells me of friends who don't know how to cook, don't know how to use a drill, don't know how to put flatpacks together, dont know basic first aid...she does, so I guess she's not doing too badly! She doesn't know the words to Little Donkey but her carol service was full of carols that I didn't know.

I’ve read about this modern inability to tell the time. Seems ‘quarter to/past’ befuddles them because a quarter primarily means ‘25’ in their world, so its actually meaning 15 minutes just fazes them. The fact that an hour is sixty minutes and not 100 also adds to this problem (ha, I always knew metrication was a very rash move!)
Digital clocks; never wearing watches when their phones give them the time: it all makes an analogue clock face a total mystery!

@tolerable
No clue what you're saying. Care to translate?

It's more about an understanding of western culture. Knowing basic Bible stories means you have a point of reference when you come across them in literature or art. It means you understand what the author is alluding to or the artist is depicting.

Christianity was the dominant religion in the British Isles from the early Middle Ages until at least the late 20th Century - 1400 years. There are countless references to it in the corpus of literature, music, art and architecture.

You do not have to be a card-carrying member of the Church of England to recognise the importance of Christianity in shaping the culture we have inherited.

It is actually shocking how much knowledge has been lost in just a couple of generations.

I've learned more about laying fires, getting kindling going etc etc since my local Wetherspoons got an open fire, than I ever did in Brownies or Girl Guides!

We have a phone with a dial that DH recently wired up. Hilarious watching teens not know how to dial.
Tbf I remember my mum showing me her old records, and being amazed at grannies house - gas lamps upstairs, a potty under the bed, outside loo and mangle and stick thingy to bash washing. Oh and tin bath on the back door and coal fire. I looked and looked for diamonds in the coal but no luck.

She told her 12 yo that Justin Fletcher plays all the characters in the kids shows Mr Tumble, and Gigglebiz, because he annoyed her.

Well.... very, actually.
I was born in 1962.
I certainly knew who Danny Kaye, Marlena Dietrich, Fred Astaire, WC Fields we're, along with many many more. 🤷‍♀️

See - I can name some Danny Kaye films but I would struggle to name anything by Cameron Diaz. Danny Kaye made some films that are still shown regularly. Not sure if Cameron Diaz is in the same celebrity league.

I thought Norris McWhirter's name was 'Derrick Aytion'. Because he always came trundling out on Record Breakers when Roy Castle or Cheryl Baker needed to confirm a record.

"If you wanna be the best, if you wanna beat the rest...ooh ooh... Derrick Aytion's what you need".

I'm 44.

There is/was an actual challenge on Tik Tok to "write your name without raising the pen. CONGRATULATIONS, Tik Tokers, you have REINVENTED cursive writing!

Spot on. The entire Western canon in literature, the history of Western art: these will be closed books to so many kids without any grounding in the cultural pillars of Christianity, and the wider Bible. Same applies to Greek mythology of course, but Christianity informs even our idiom, our old townscapes, certainly the social history of the past half century, and learning about it all must surely be possible without any attached doctrinal strictures. After all, in my day (eek, that phrase!) we learned all about the Romans in Britain, as well as the history of the Roman Empire at large, at a pretty young age at school, probably the most elastic our brains ever are!

I always tell my 6th formers that they really need at least some knowledge of fairytales (not disney versions), the Bible and Greek and Roman mythology to make studying literature easier. They always look aghast:"I'm not reading the bible, Miss!"

That you have to turn the bread over to toast the other side 🙄

I grew up in a place where religion has caused significant harm. I suppose it is a trigger for me that people expect stories bible taught in school alongside actual facts.

yes it is important that children understand that Christianity was once very important and shaped society - with a lot of positives but it also caused significant damage.

but expecting children from non Christian families to be taught individual bible
stories and judging teens for not having this knowledge seems harsh and unnecessary (but reminiscent of the not so distant past and the control the church had).

I'm myself an atheist of mixed Christian/ Jewish background!

And it was more than one student..

I'm not horrified; I was just a bit surprised. Just as I would be if someone didn't know the story of the Ugly Duckling, or The Hare and the Tortoise. I'm sure they're similarly surprised at my ignorance about many aspects of modern smartphone technology!

@SleepingStandingUp .Absolute-thankyou.am aware of my fail punctuate ,use too many words-the aim being for clarity. If one person understands,i am ok.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll - i hope you mean you?

I sometimes go on the Quora question-and-answer site, and there was someone (admittedly not from the UK) who thought that Rishi Sunak was 'President of England'.

but expecting children from non Christian families to be taught individual bible stories and judging teens for not having this knowledge seems harsh and unnecessary (but reminiscent of the not so distant past and the control the church had).

Stories like Adam and Eve, Noah's Ark, etc. are in the Jewish Tanakh (basically the Old Testament) and the Quran, so not restricted to Christianity.