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Original poster

How has your ASD child coped today.

124 replies

JubileeTrifle · 25/12/2022 19:06

ASD teen has had major meltdown. Refused Christmas dinner and then refused to eat with us at all. Cried about all the issues in her life.
Ate her beige dinner and has calmed down. First year she hasn’t sat with us. Sad.

OP posts:
Senmum2013 · 25/12/2022 20:08

@danni0509 putting your child in the recycling made me chuckle 🤣. My youngest DS 9 (PDA) has been pretty good today. It’s just been low key, chilled day. He had left over pizza for breakfast, then fruitellas (only the strawberry ones), chocolate and got lunch chicken nuggets and chips with carrots and corn on the cob (and half a bottle of ketchup). He’s about to get into bed to play on the iPad and watch tv.
i try to have low expectations, I’m actually really proud of his he’s behaved today.
well done to everyone for (almost) getting through what can he a really challenging day.

vinoandbrie · 25/12/2022 20:09

DD didn’t come to the table to eat her Christmas Dinner. I just let it go, but feel sad inside.

She says she feels sad and it’s the first time she’s ever felt sad on Christmas Day. I have been working flat out to make it a wonderful day for her. I’ve tried so hard.

I am tired.

Ricardothesnowman · 25/12/2022 20:11

Ds (14) not great. Had 6 people here altogether, usually only 4 of us, but it was all too much.
He decided to hug the cat, who didn't want to be hugged, and it all deteriorated from there.

But is calm now, wrapped in a blanket and watching you tube videos that he has seen at least a billion times before.

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ofwarren · 25/12/2022 20:13

8 year old is on the pathway and has struggled on and off today.
We keep it low-key, so just immediate family.
He never asked for anything at all so I had to choose the presents myself and he seemed to really like them. I chose lots of sensory type things, soft items, scented items, a bubble tube, a weighted blanket, etc.
His main present was a Kindle Fire which he's been on most of the day.

2 meltdowns, the first was once all his presents were open, and he was obviously overwhelmed. He was pacing, saying,'I don't know what to do' over and over. The second meltdown was because he wanted one of his Brothers toys.

We don't do anything formal. Just go with the flow.

TooFewSpoons · 25/12/2022 20:14

This is eye opening and reassuring. DC (14) only diagnosed ASD a year ago. Christmas Day has been getting more challenging each year. I'm so reassured to read that's it's not weird to go off to their room to be alone, not particularly wanting to stay at the long lunch and doing the "show your face" bit happens in 10 minute bursts every couple of hours.

I thought it was just me and DC that struggled while absolutely everyone else wass having Hallmark-movie Christmas Days. How wrong was I!

Original poster
JubileeTrifle · 25/12/2022 20:14

vinoandbrie · 25/12/2022 20:09

DD didn’t come to the table to eat her Christmas Dinner. I just let it go, but feel sad inside.

She says she feels sad and it’s the first time she’s ever felt sad on Christmas Day. I have been working flat out to make it a wonderful day for her. I’ve tried so hard.

I am tired.

Snap. I’ve tried to make it lovely and low key and quiet. Didn’t work. She was miserable earlier. Heartbreaking

OP posts:
KeiraDaily · 25/12/2022 20:14

DS (10) has been really difficult. Argumentative, rude, uncooperative. Hasn’t really eaten anything all day which is probably contributing to low mood but is complaining of a sore throat and crying when presented with safe food so have given up. Time for bed but feeling quite sad he didn’t enjoy the day 😥

LynetteScavo · 25/12/2022 20:15

My ASD child has not joined us today.

DS2 has mentioned a few times "So this is the first Christmas without DS1" And this evening DS2 is having a huge, very out of character, huge tantrum. It's like years of pent up anxiety have been released after we've all walked on egg shells for years because of DS1. Sad

Skye90 · 25/12/2022 20:15

DD3 was horrendous today! It was only us and our DS1 but she kicked off with everything and anything, wasn’t interested in unwrapping any presents or even the new toys she got. She’s been very aggressive and overwhelmed. I’ve been in tears most of the day.

Frith2013 · 25/12/2022 20:16

My 19 year old got up for 15 minutes to eat his dinner.

He then went back to bed and got up at 5.

He isn't dressed yet but did try his new coat on.

Frith2013 · 25/12/2022 20:19

I was told to "throw the dinner down the garden" but I pretended not to hear.

He won't open presents with anyone watching.

Chrysanthemum5 · 25/12/2022 20:19

DD (15) was up until 4.30 and woke me up with a text as she was too scared to leave the loo. Then got up at 9 as we had to leave at 9.50am. She struggled this morning so we have her a bit of extra time and left later - she did really well. Spoke to relatives, was grateful and polite for presents, and was not too grumpy with her brother. She disappeared at times to another room to go on the iPad with her cousin which was fine.

Overall very surprised and happy with the day

FrightfullyFreezy · 25/12/2022 20:19

My 11 year old has adhd and sensory processing disorder. He held it together quite well and took himself off to his room when he needed to. When the last guest left though, he has raged and cried. It's taken nearly two hours to calm him down.

eatdrinkandbemerry · 25/12/2022 20:19

He's really enjoyed it but he's had his normal food and watched his normal programs on tv .
I'm very relaxed about his eating so wasn't going to try force an unusual meal
In him .

Thenose · 25/12/2022 20:21

Wonderful, happy, and an absolute pleasure to be around. As usual.

Daughtersandbristolian · 25/12/2022 20:22

Today has been hard in lots of ways. Worse than we anticipated, it’s hard to try and keep composure and try not to get upset and that it’s not their fault. It was tricky at 5am when we had 2 meltdowns and hadn’t even gone downstairs to see if Father Christmas had been. Sending love and 🍷to those in same shoes. Christmas has been ‘the worst day of their life today’ 🥲

LegoLady95 · 25/12/2022 20:24

My 15 year old has coped well. This is because we have learnt to make it as similar to a regular day as possible. He has very few gifts and opens nothing, although his sister did encourage him to tear the wrapping on one. He wakes up when he is ready, 10am today after a lot of the busy present opening is over. He enjoys roast dinners generally but took two hours to eat his dinner, in a seperate room as always. He has enjoyed having sweets and chocolate and has had tv and films on in the seperate room downstairs that he tends to stay in. A pretty good day compared to some previous ones where he has been overwhelmed or disregulated. We have had no visitors this year which helps.

Spendonsend · 25/12/2022 20:25

DS13 has done really well to be honest. We have a few routines now like he knows his presents in advance, he doesnt have to socialse and he happens to like roast so its not a difficult meal for him.
Its taken a few years to get to not just overwhelming him. Who knows what next year will bring tho.

YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 25/12/2022 20:26

Ds (9) did amazing well. This is the first Christmas we have had that he hasn't had constant meltdowns, and he actually seemed to enjoy himself. So proud of him.

Mammyloveswine · 25/12/2022 20:26

My 6 year old has been "over excited" all day.. crazy giddy and full of energy then crashing and crying.. confused at getting presents he "didn't ask for".. he ate most of the components of a Christmas dinner with no gravy.. overall I'd say it was a success!

hollyivysaurus · 25/12/2022 20:27

My almost 5yo has been mostly okay. I think it helped that we wrote an itinerary for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and ticked things off as we went throughout the day! His first present from Santa was the main thing he asked for so he was pleased. He coped really well throughout, bit of a wobble mid afternoon but we let him and his sister have a bit of time on computer games which does help him to calm down. He held it together until about 5:30, started to wobble a bit and wouldn’t say bye to guests, went into the other room etc - was just making it really clear that he was a bit done with guests at that point. But after they left he was okay, just a little bouncy at bedtime.

All in all I’m calling it a success in our household!!

Whatmarbles · 25/12/2022 20:31

Not dissimilar to you OP.

16yr old dd opened and liked her presents.
Lunch was going to be 2pm but we shifted it forward because of her sister going out.
Big mistake!
Refused to eat as not hungry. Mash was lumpy, today she didn't like green beans, they all got decanted onto another plate, leaving her with chicken, roast potato and yourkshire pudding. Still she didn't eat, nor did dh.
Then meltdown started, we had lots of tears 😭, not only hers.
Her dad took her out for a drive around whilst I cooked her a beige meal to her liking. She came back, ate that, her dad had his reheated Christmas dinner, and thanked us both very much.

It's so tough, I have a lot of sympathy for her but it is so bloody hard at times.

ThereIsATInWater · 25/12/2022 20:31

DS14, has done surprisingly well.

BIL & SIL visited yesterday evening, see them rarely, DS sat on a stool at the end if the sofa next to BIL but also directly next to the door, so not trapped in.
But he stayed and talked to them.

All his siblings and nephews round today, he's been overly helpful and ok.
Went to my parents this evening, he joined in with some games but slowly retreated out of the main area, till he was sat alone in the kitchen...time to go!

I'm pretty sure he'll disappear to his room and only appear to take food away for the next few days to a week now though.

Prefer that to almighty meltdowns and destruction.

AthenaWhite · 25/12/2022 20:31

Teen DD has been subdued and a bit sad but also grateful and polite.

Beats last year when she came out with multiple personality disorder and spent the day introducing us to to her different selves.

I hold the space now and make a Christmas which she can enjoy or not.

She is a wonderful kid but it's tricky sometimes as you all know.

Daisychainsandglitter · 25/12/2022 20:33

My 8 year old started the day really enthusiastically. Very excited about her presents, played with them nicely, had brunch and then disappeared into her room for the rest of the day. Spent most of the day staring at a wall, giving one word answers looking exhausted. She seemed happy enough but wouldn't even go downstairs when my in laws arrived whom she adores.
My MIL managed to reinvigorate her by sitting with her in her room chatting quietly. She then got up around 18.30 and has now gone back to bed.
She seemed emotionally exhausted by it all. Hopefully today had recharged her batteries a little and she is feeling a bit brighter tomorrow.