Do you give exact arrival times when travelling to see your parents?

[Toilin]

If your parents live around 1.5-2 hours away, and you have arranged to go and see them for the day or for the weekend…

How precise are you around your arrival time? Are you asked to give an exact time that you must stick to, do you give a window, or do you just say (for example) ‘afternoon’ and that’s ok?

Mine live far away but I'd agree a rough time 'around 4pm' and then give updates based on traffic.

Visiting MIL who is close we'd perhaps say 'in time for lunch' and let her know when we'd set off so she knew we'd be arriving in 45 mins

I give them a rough time when planning and then tell them when I've set off on the day so they know I'm about 2-2.5hrs away.

My ex lives 4 hours away and tells ds when he plans to leave but it's always a totally different time. Once he gets to less than an hour away he texts with a Google maps ETA.

I’ll tell them the time I’m aiming for and then text if we’re late or early. I prefer to know the vague time people are coming to mine as afternoon could be 1 or 4

My parents are about 3.5 hours away. We arrange a rough time, I text when we leave and text again when we’re about an hour away.

I tell them when we are planning on leaving, and then get one of the kids to message them when we actually leave.
So they know what time we are planning on arriving, but they understand the M1 is subject to delays!

Oh OP, this is a huge cause of stress for me!
My DM lives c2 hour drive away. I give an approximate time of departure; inevitably run late, have to update, then give a more precise ETA when I'm in the car.

I would much prefer to let my mum know an approx time - morning / afternoon, no need for her to wait around, I have a key, or to prepare food.

But she wants precise times ahead of the day & I always feel anxious that I'm not sticking to them. My mum is v punctual.

Above only applies if we are going to stay for a day or two, if it's just a day trip I need to have more specific times but it's easier as I'm not packing. (I'm terrible at packing).

I know I drive her mad. She also drives me mad.

Lived about an hour away.
I used to give them an approx. time, then would phone when about 10 mins away so they could put the kettle on and unlock the door

Give a 30 minute window when we talk e.g. the day before. Phone on the day as we set off which gives 1.5 hours notice.

I usually just tell them what day I’m going. I will give a time if asked but it will be a morning/afternoon.

I have a house key though so it doesn’t matter if I turn up and they’ve gone out.

I would always give a half hour window and apologise if late,check or hang about if early.
dm dislikes being pinned down to a time, apparently I should just wait around for her to turn up.

Depends really.
If it’s for the day and something is planned, then we agree on a specific time.
If it’s for the WE with no fixed plan, then I’d give a rough idea (between 3.00pm and 4.00om)

Tool a lot if time to ‘teach’ my parents that. They are the type of expect something precise (let’s say 4.15pm) and then get worried if I am 5mins late…

@MassiveSalad22 mine are exactly the same. I'm literally about to get in the car and commence this process now!

If its in-laws we give an exact time. And also ring when we come of the motorway to say we're nearly there.

If its my family I'll give a rough time and that's enough. Will only text if running very late.

I used to give my mum a rough day.. ie might be there fri or sat... she got used to it.. sometimes I was there on the thursday, sometimes the sunday.

Well I start by asking what time they would like us to arrive, as that is good manners.

Then if there is reason we wouldn't be able to arrive within half an hour either side of that time we would tell them so they would know when to expect us.

And if we get held up on the journey I would call and tell them the new ETA.

My daughter texts when about to leave. It takes her 2 to 2 1/2 hours.

We give an estimate but text/call when we leave and again if we get properly stuck in traffic.

I normally tell my elderly parents an exact time and if the traffic is bad I call them en route.

This changed over the years. As a student, DP would count themselves lucky if you knew what day to expect me. When my mother was in her own, she grew quite anxious so I would tell her I would be there 'by six' if I meant to arrived around four.

So sad, to see the ravages of old age on the formerly happy mind

I would normally say in advance we are intending to set off between say 10-10.30 so should be there around lunch time but will phone you when 20-30 minutes away. Or say we will set off just after lunch and should be there 3-3.30ish but we’ll update you when we get to X point or when we are 2-30 minutes away. Or say we’ll be there about 2-2.30 but we will stop for a sarnie on the way down.

That way whoever you are visiting knows they have the morning free to pop out to the shops or do X and know we will be there at Y and we will have eaten or we will be there to eat Z meal.

Although having said all this I would also like the same courtesy shown in return but with DH’s family this never ever happens. They say they are visiting on X weekend but we have to phone them to clarify when they are visiting Friday and or Saturday and to ask roughly what time they will be there. They live just over 2 hours away and if they ever give us a time they are usually 2-3 hours later than whatever time they say.

I give a time we are aiming to arrive, and update if we are delayed. We don't turn up early, I would stop off for a coffee somewhere if we were going to be appreciably early and I have been known to park up nearby if we are 15 minutes of so early.

I give a vague time ("probably between 2pm - 3pm") and then an update when I set off with my sat nav ETA.

Then I would send a text if I hit traffic and was going to be late.

A window - so between 10 and 12 (before lunch). Mid afternoon. etc etc.

I give a time and update them if we are delayed.