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Original poster

Stuck in the UK- please tell me some positive things

70 replies

DownInTheDumpster · 20/12/2022 20:55

Have name changed as I’ve spoken to a number of friends about this.
We were meant to be moving abroad in the New Year. DH and I put huge amount of work, time and money into the move- new jobs lined up, new schools for DC, had started learning the language. Couldn’t wait for a break and a change and to live somewhere new.
We have had a sudden diagnosis of a condition in one of our DC and also one of our parents has been diagnosed with a life limiting illness. After many tearful discussions we have accepted this week we cannot move abroad, not at the moment anyway.
Im devastated. I’ve felt so low recently with the state of the UK and I couldn’t wait for a clean break and to move somewhere different.
Please can you tell me why you live in the UK and why it’s a good place to live. I’ve been awake night after night so upset and gutted our dream hasn’t worked out, as well as being sad and worried for our families health issues.
I wanted so much better for my kid and I feel I’m letting them down raising them in this depressing time. I keep seeing local adverts for homelessness and kids going hungry and cold and just don’t want to live in this country right now.

OP posts:
FusilliFettler · 20/12/2022 20:58

Because there’s no war here, you can turn on a tap and get clean water and food is plentiful. The weather is generally not extreme and we don’t have volcanoes or mega earthquakes killing people on a regular basis.

Cherryana · 20/12/2022 21:08

You can do day trips easily - within a 90 minute drive and you will probably get to a city, lake, sea, theme park, beautiful village, big hill or mountain to climb, world class theatre, a couple of national trust properties and a swimming pool with a big slide.

VanCleefArpels · 20/12/2022 21:11

And you are sure there’s no homelessness / people in cold houses / shit politicians in the new country because……….??

You were presumably brought up here - during the 70’s / 80’s / 90’s during which there were some equally crappy times - why do you think you are letting your children down by doing the same?

Honestly I’d give your head a wobble

user143677433 · 20/12/2022 21:13

Maybe you could move to another part of the U.K.? That could also be a change. Or do you need to stay close to family?

Lemonlady22 · 20/12/2022 21:18

The NHS! Obviously for your child and parent

Rotherweird · 20/12/2022 21:18

That sounds hugely disappointing and worrying. No wonder you are struggling.

I have chosen to live in the UK and I mostly love it. All countries have their problems - if you don’t live there it’s not so easy to see them.

I suggest:

  • not reading/watching the news - I did this when I realised it made no difference whether I did or not
  • finding some podcasts you really enjoy/listening to music
  • getting out in nature as much as you can
  • planning a few day trips/weekends to beautiful places
  • booking tickets to a show to look forward to
  • Starting a list of all the things you appreciate where you live eg for me the library service
  • start catching peoples eyes out and about and smiling at them
  • if you like dogs, get a dog - great way to connect with people and get outside
  • if you have time, find a volunteering opportunity you feel excited about - proven happiness boost and a great way to appreciate how many kind souls there are out there
ImAvingOops · 20/12/2022 21:26

Well, the UK is presumably going to provide care for your child's condition.
Am fed up of UK bashing - it isn't perfect, but few places are. The UK is safe, has laws which respect people's freedom and rights to live as they see fit, access to healthcare and education which isn't determined solely by wealth, is culturally very rich, beautiful countryside, mostly nice people.
Yes, it's disappointing to have to change plans, but you are hardly trapped in a hell hole!

Summer2424 · 20/12/2022 21:30

Hi @DownInTheDumpster sorry to hear about your move not going ahead, hope the below helps x
Living in the UK I have always had a job, the UK has a healthcare service available to all and the weather is good (i know it does rain but we have a happy medium in the UK).

Mix56 · 20/12/2022 21:31

You didn't say where you were moving.
But the general situation in the EU country I live in is also spiraling downwards
Grass greener & all that.

Fireflygal · 20/12/2022 21:34

Close to family, moderate weather and easy to travel to other countries.

Nimbostratus100 · 20/12/2022 21:37

Beautiful countryside and nature, reasonable climate, few extremes, democracy, NHS, modern education, very little violence, low crime, policing by consent. People may say they disagree with any of these points, and none of these areas are perfect, but compared to other parts of the world, we are a lot better off then many places

susan12345678 · 20/12/2022 21:39

The EU is drowning in corruption atm. Homelessness is rife throughout the western world.

The U.K. has its problems but it’s no worse than most other places.

Scabetty · 20/12/2022 21:40

You have a disappointment to deal with on top of worry about your child. It is understandable you feel negative about the UK when you were leaving it behind but you have to change that now. There is shit in all countries but UK shit isn’t as bad as some. Ireland has problems, Spain, France, USA, India … you get my point. Life is peaks and troughs so start climbing.

Tr1skel1on · 20/12/2022 21:45

I'm not in the UK, but have you thought about moving to the Isle of Man. Fantastic place to raise a family. If you like inner city living it's not for you, but apart from that it's great. Certain jobs get relocation packages and our local kids hospital is Alder Hey in Liverpool with daily patient transfer flights.

gogohmm · 20/12/2022 21:46

Every country has negatives, we tend to hear mostly about where we live. Only today I was being told about how their country has brought in a €20 charge to see a gp, more for a&e etc because they couldn't afford to have it free. Other countries have lots of strikes (ask the French!) plenty of places have very high costs, higher than here.

Britain is far from perfect but having lived overseas I can say that I chose to come back for good reasons

fizzandchips · 20/12/2022 21:54

As someone who currently lives abroad, please don’t underestimate being geographically close to family and close friends - it really is priceless. The NHS might be woefully underfunded and stretched, but it is bloody amazing!
Also you mentioned a second language; never underestimate being able to communicate easily and fluently.

Original poster
DownInTheDumpster · 20/12/2022 22:01

Thanks all I appreciate your kind responses.
It was a European city we were going to.

OP posts:
TreesAtSea · 20/12/2022 22:03

ImAvingOops · 20/12/2022 21:26

Well, the UK is presumably going to provide care for your child's condition.
Am fed up of UK bashing - it isn't perfect, but few places are. The UK is safe, has laws which respect people's freedom and rights to live as they see fit, access to healthcare and education which isn't determined solely by wealth, is culturally very rich, beautiful countryside, mostly nice people.
Yes, it's disappointing to have to change plans, but you are hardly trapped in a hell hole!

This.

FruHagen · 20/12/2022 22:20

I live abroad. It's definitely not easy to relocate.

Things to love about the UK and to feel really hopeful for.

Humour - Brits are funny, excellent comedy.
History- amazing rich history around every corner.
Food - diverse food culture. Available ingredients for great food everywhere.
Friendly - people are friendly and chatty
Lots to do - events, meetups, clubs, sports. Always something to do
Arts and culture - loads everywhere
Opportunity- lots of people means lots of opportunity

nellyelloe · 20/12/2022 22:26

Tr1skel1on · 20/12/2022 21:45

I'm not in the UK, but have you thought about moving to the Isle of Man. Fantastic place to raise a family. If you like inner city living it's not for you, but apart from that it's great. Certain jobs get relocation packages and our local kids hospital is Alder Hey in Liverpool with daily patient transfer flights.

@Tr1skel1on
This is what we are doing Smile
We have similar issues as me and 1 of our children have T1 diabetes so we needed an NHS type healthcare. We love IOM so have decided to make the move

ginggung · 20/12/2022 23:37

Having lived in SEA the UK is a breeze.

*Seasons
*every type of food
*good mix of culture
*a lot more civilised on transport
*a lot more cleaner and tidier
*great supermarkets
*much better roads
*cheaper clothing and better quality of goods all round.
*lots of places for family days out.
*mediaeval towns and historic places
*nhs

Luellie · 21/12/2022 07:04

FruHagen · 20/12/2022 22:20

I live abroad. It's definitely not easy to relocate.

Things to love about the UK and to feel really hopeful for.

Humour - Brits are funny, excellent comedy.
History- amazing rich history around every corner.
Food - diverse food culture. Available ingredients for great food everywhere.
Friendly - people are friendly and chatty
Lots to do - events, meetups, clubs, sports. Always something to do
Arts and culture - loads everywhere
Opportunity- lots of people means lots of opportunity

Your point about food - it really did shock me in some other European countries how difficult some "niche" foods or ingredients are to come by. And these were things that at home I'd always been able to get even in the village co op!

Luxembourgmama · 21/12/2022 07:06

Luellie · 21/12/2022 07:04

Your point about food - it really did shock me in some other European countries how difficult some "niche" foods or ingredients are to come by. And these were things that at home I'd always been able to get even in the village co op!

Show quote history

Yes thats définitely true. Even in capital cities.

Virginiaplain · 21/12/2022 07:16

Our climate - if you are in a hotter climate the land turns brown just after spring and stays that way till winter eg central California. If you live in a more extreme climate you can only do snowy things in winter ski etc. Whereas here you can hill walk, cycle all year round with the right clothing.
Already I am looking forward to the things I'm planning for my garden in Spring. I will in fact start on them in Jan or Feb if it's mild then.

Get off the news and out and about.

Singleandproud · 21/12/2022 07:17

You may be saddened by the adverts to support homeless people and young people going hungry but isn't it fantastic that in the UK charities help those in need instead of sweeping the problem under the carpet?

All European cities have the same problem London does, I'll never forget walking out Gare du Nord and seeing the stream of homeless men or the beggers on the trains.

The UK is safe the most I might be concerned about if I go to my nearest city is pickpockets, there is no war.

The NHS maybe struggling but when ever family members have needed it recently they've been seen quickly, promptly and for free.

All children have the opportunity to go on to training and work at an appropriate level to them, university may not be free but it is manageable.

We have maternity and parental rights and choice over our reproductive health.