Stuck in the UK- please tell me some positive things

[DownInTheDumpster]

Have name changed as I’ve spoken to a number of friends about this.
We were meant to be moving abroad in the New Year. DH and I put huge amount of work, time and money into the move- new jobs lined up, new schools for DC, had started learning the language. Couldn’t wait for a break and a change and to live somewhere new.
We have had a sudden diagnosis of a condition in one of our DC and also one of our parents has been diagnosed with a life limiting illness. After many tearful discussions we have accepted this week we cannot move abroad, not at the moment anyway.
Im devastated. I’ve felt so low recently with the state of the UK and I couldn’t wait for a clean break and to move somewhere different.
Please can you tell me why you live in the UK and why it’s a good place to live. I’ve been awake night after night so upset and gutted our dream hasn’t worked out, as well as being sad and worried for our families health issues.
I wanted so much better for my kid and I feel I’m letting them down raising them in this depressing time. I keep seeing local adverts for homelessness and kids going hungry and cold and just don’t want to live in this country right now.

You have to make the choice. Then focus on why you chose to stay. If you are doubting it that much then go.
There are massive social issues in European cities too however.
But if you believed it's better there then follow that path.
If you are staying because of the nhs and medical then focus on that

I know you have a parent to consider, but if you think your child will get better treatment abroad than here, can you not commute between the two for a while to spend time with your parents whilst your DH and child live there full time? I'm sure your parent would want you to do what's best for DC

Can you travel back for your parent?

It sounds like you’ve put a lot into the move

Can I just throw geological stability in the pot? No earthquakes to write home about, volcanoes, tsunami warnings. You can take for granted the boring ground beneath our feet, or at least I did until I got caught in an earthquake abroad that collapsed a city.

Well you already know one good element, that's the NHS. Especially useful for your child and parent right now. Many people travel thousands of miles to come here. We have human rights laws, the police protect us, we have a good benefits system. All countries have homeless people and people living in poverty, so I'm a little perplexed by your statement? We currently have 2 organisations, who volunteer to cook and feed the homeless. It works so well here. If you're wanting to see more good around where you live, why don't you volunteer at your local food bank, or with the homeless charity? Another is the weather, some countries have very harsh winters.

My friend from Latvia moved here mainly for the education, and jobs. He's happy the winters here are very mild, compared to Latvia. He prefers London, but cannot afford to live there. So he lives in the Midlands and visits London alot. He has retrained for free as a painter and decorator. Now he has a job. He has disability allowance which helps supplement his income. He was living in real financial hardship in Latvia. He is so happy to be here. The only thing he grumbles about is our lack of basketball and too much football culture!

My neighbour moved away to Tokyo 5 years ago, as she felt England had gone downhill. She soon came running back when covid hit. Because of the nhs and vaccinations etc she decided to stay here! She's moved to another part of the UK, but wouldn't leave it again.

The best thing about the UK is the thing keeping you here, your family. Beyond that we are a stable European democracy, things are a bit bleak but I’m confident a political change will happen soon.

Your title says you're "stuck" in the UK. You're "devastated", you don't want to live in the UK right now. There's your answer. No-one on here can really persuade you otherwise, you're just going to be butter and disappointed.
Move to the Netherlands and commute for your parent.

Bitter! Not butter! Bloomin autocarrot

From your post, you’d think you were stuck in a war zone. Get some perspective. No war, clean water, moderate climate, no famine.

I grew up in South Africa and not a year goes by when I don’t thank my lucky stars that I get to live in the UK. Despite the gap between rich and poor growing here, there are still amazing opportunities here for those who seek them. Corruption is very low relative to the rest of the world.

After Brexit and because of the recession and a parade of crap politicians, people love to complain (rightly so) about the UK but it’s still one of the best places for a baby to be born.

Given your post, you know the reason to stay and that’s the NHS. I assume the cost of care in the European city would be too much to enable your move otherwise you’d be running there! But that’s me being grumpy with the world this morning.

the grass isn’t always greener and there is so, so much going for the U.K. stop reading the news will improve your outlook no end!

Thanks all it’s so true. I think I’m just having a gloomy moan- I know we are lucky really. I am quite fatalistic so im thinking it’s part of a greater plan- very grateful we had all these diagnoses before actually moving away!
I am going to give my head a wobble and perhaps consider a move within the UK. We have a few issues with our area and perhaps I’ve projected that to the UK in general whereas a move to a different environment could really help.

@DownInTheDumpster really feel for you. Having got all psyched up for the move, it just be absolutely gutting to not be able to go, and especially for the very worrying reasons for it. Hope things work out for you

You do know the grass may not be greener? That it’s shit everywhere at the moment? A worldwide pandemic being recovered from, Europe suffering the same with fuel prices, that all European countries suffer in their own way, they all have homelessness issues, some are very racist in outlook? Not to mention war

I just don’t understand why people think it’s so bad here and so wonderful everywhere else in the world, it’s not

Get some perspective. No war, clean water, moderate climate, no famine.

Don't they have those in Amsterdam?

@CharlottePerrens

Oh yes, I second your suggestions too

Charity Shops! I can't believe I forgot those. Omg I miss that so much. I got so many brilliant things in charity shops. They don't have them here. No 2nd hand stuff at all, just everything new and uniform. Boring.

I don’t live in the UK so maybe I can give you an objective response.

DH and I once had a move planned to a new city and it fell apart at the last minute. We were devastated. When you build yourself up for a big change it feels so heartbreaking to have to have to give it up. It’s like if you’re changing jobs, by your last week at the old job you feel like you can’t stand it there one more minute!

For us it was about 10 years ago now and we are still in our original city. The disappointment passed and we have built an enjoyable life here. I still do yearn for a change and we will probably move when we retire. Ironically we’re considering spending part of each year in the UK!

Same here.
Much worse places than the UK.
Sorry you have had to change your plans op l can understand your disappointment.

Your family
The NHS
The Schools
Lots to do
Weather isn’t too bad.
Welfare system
Maternity Pay
Women’s rights

I go on a lot of cruises and many excursions in all the different countries I visit. It’s really interesting to meet the tour guides and get some facts and figures about different countries. I don’t think I’ve been to one place where they think they get a good deal in their country. They all have the same energy price crisis, taxes obviously vary but no one seems happy with them. Some countries sound better in some ways but way worse in others.
In the UK you will be close to your loved ones.

OP I understand your disappointment. I lived in a southern European country for 16 years. Lovely weather, beautiful countryside and beaches, lovely food. Then DD was born with a neurological condition. There was no SN help. I had to give up work to look after her and there was no help as far as benefits were concerned.

In the end my late DP and I moved back to the UK. Sadly DP died a couple of years ago but the help we had from the GP and district nurses to enable this to happen at home was amazing. We would never have been able to do that if we had not come back. DD and I now live in a beautiful part of the north-east close to stunning countryside and gorgeous beaches. She is at an excellent special school and we are only a few hours drive from family.

Yes the food could be better but I certainly don't miss the intense summer heat. We had a lovely weekend when I had a big birthday earlier this year. Delicious seafood and then the next day kite flying on a lovely unspoilt sandy beach.

I do miss elements of my previous life but I feel a lot more secure here in the UK. About 50% of my ex-pat friends who I met abroad have also moved back either to the UK or their countries of origin and quite a number of my friends who were nationals of the country have also left and gone to places like Canada or Germany. The grass isn't always greener and there are still a lot of things to like about the UK.