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Original poster

What happens at your book club?

65 replies

Volumous · 18/12/2022 09:48

I recently joined a book club through a loose friend (I love reading). I read the recommended book, and had lots of thoughts about it.

However, when I got to the book club night, one of the women basically smirked at me and said they don't always actually read the book, it's just an excuse to get together and to drink wine really. I then had an awkward evening because I didn't know anyone and had nothing to talk with them about.

Have I missed something here? Am I being an earnest wally turning up ready to have a (lighthearted!) talk about literature? What do you do at your book clubs?

OP posts:
GreyhairedHobbit · 18/12/2022 10:02

We have a short story book club. We have discussion questions and talk about what we have learnt about the author, time period, new words etc, then have drink and nibbles and talk about what else we are all reading. Great fun!

Janieread · 18/12/2022 10:05

I got asked to leave my book club because I always read the book and 'made others feel stupid'. It was the most bizarre thing that's ever happened to me.

America12 · 18/12/2022 10:16

We chat about the book over coffee and pick one for the next month. Usually about an hour. We have lunch at Christmas, sometimes organise a film or exhibition.
Maybe look for another group ?

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America12 · 18/12/2022 10:16

Janieread · 18/12/2022 10:05

I got asked to leave my book club because I always read the book and 'made others feel stupid'. It was the most bizarre thing that's ever happened to me.

What a shame

gggrrrargh · 18/12/2022 10:17

We’ve got a book group. We do talk about what’s going on in our lives but we only schedule the next one when everyone has read the book!

Bimblesalong · 18/12/2022 10:21

We meet 4-6 weekly, working through in alphabetical order of people’s last names. The person due to host chooses the book. We have wine and light snacks, with the person hosting guiding the book discussion. This but usually lasts an hour and then we might have a quick general talk. We also go out for Christmas meal and have little break out groups that can make it for the cinema/ art trips.
we’ve all been friends irl for 20 years and the book club is one of the great pleasures in life.

I hope you find one that works. what a shame this one wasn’t “as advertised “ iyswim.

badassbaby · 18/12/2022 10:24

Janieread · 18/12/2022 10:05

I got asked to leave my book club because I always read the book and 'made others feel stupid'. It was the most bizarre thing that's ever happened to me.

😂😂😂😂

Janieread · 18/12/2022 10:30

badassbaby · 18/12/2022 10:24

😂😂😂😂

Show quote history

I still can't quite believe it happened.

SnowAndIceLobelia · 18/12/2022 10:32

I belong to a book club and everyone does read the book otherwise it is not seen as playing the game properly.

We talk for about 30 minutes or so over prosecco and then we have lunch. The rules are everyone takes their turn in hosting. We alternate fiction and non-fiction and we only have two courses, no competitive cooking allowed. (Cottage pie and
vanilla icecream was my offering).

It;s fun, and low stress.

isitdoinasnow · 18/12/2022 10:33

I left mine as it was too serious and they were expecting me to have read the book in full and wanted to discuss. It depends on the group I guess.

Original poster
Volumous · 18/12/2022 10:33

Janieread · 18/12/2022 10:05

I got asked to leave my book club because I always read the book and 'made others feel stupid'. It was the most bizarre thing that's ever happened to me.

That is bizarre. I'd be really pleased to have people turn up keen to discuss a book... at a BOOK CLUB! What are we missing here?! Did you ever manage to join another group?

OP posts:
FloorCushion · 18/12/2022 10:34

We meet at 8pm, drink wine and posh nibbles, spend 85% of the time not talking about the book, then someone remembers it’s a book club so we talk about it for a bit, then it’s tea, coffee chocolates and sex, then we go home.
The host for the next book club chooses the book.

squashyhat · 18/12/2022 10:35

We agree the books about a year in advance with everyone (who wants to) making recommendations. We have just finished 2023's list. We meet once a month in a pub room, or someone's garden in the summer. We discuss the book we have just read - sometimes in a lot of depth, sometimes briefly - and then have a general chat. The balance works well and it had made me read many books which I otherwise would not have (which is why I joined).

Cookerhood · 18/12/2022 10:37

FloorCushion · 18/12/2022 10:34

We meet at 8pm, drink wine and posh nibbles, spend 85% of the time not talking about the book, then someone remembers it’s a book club so we talk about it for a bit, then it’s tea, coffee chocolates and sex, then we go home.
The host for the next book club chooses the book.

We don't have sex at our book club, otherwise the same as yours 😂
We've all known each other for 20+ years& have seen each other through all sorts - childbirth, GCSEs, a levels, university, divorce, death & everything else in between. I love my book club & I've read books I would never otherwise have read.

boredOf · 18/12/2022 10:37

No reading :(
We drink wine and go out to dinner. Lots of fun.

BlandSoup · 18/12/2022 10:37

FloorCushion · 18/12/2022 10:34

We meet at 8pm, drink wine and posh nibbles, spend 85% of the time not talking about the book, then someone remembers it’s a book club so we talk about it for a bit, then it’s tea, coffee chocolates and sex, then we go home.
The host for the next book club chooses the book.

You have sex at your book club??

TheChosenTwo · 18/12/2022 10:38

There are 8 of us, we meet every 4-6 weeks and the person who chose the book chooses the venue, either home or a restaurant. We usually go out to eat. General chat, quick chat about the book and the rest of the evening is more chatting. It’s a VERY informal book club, we are all friends and it was a good excuse to pencil in regular meet ups and the reading element is secondary. Mostly we do all manage to read the book, though it’s more normal than one or two have finished.
But as I say, we are all friends (a few of the people in the club were invited by one person who knew them really well and they knew one or two others loosely but we are all now good friends) so it’s just a nice relaxed evening. Often we get the dessert course before we realise we haven’t even mentioned the book!

OnaBegonia · 18/12/2022 10:38

We meet monthly, there's a rota for choosing the book and bringing snacks, we're coffee/tea as a few members head off to night shifts. We had a xmas dinner and always read and discuss, obviously discussions do wander to our own lives but it's a great supportive wee group.

Original poster
Volumous · 18/12/2022 10:39

I understand that the vibe of different groups will be different, of course, but assumed that they generally involve the basic premise of a book club, which is to read and discuss a book. Even if it's just a short book discussion followed by an hour of general chat and wine or whatever. Otherwise it should just be a social club.

OP posts:
NeedToKnow101 · 18/12/2022 10:41

FloorCushion · 18/12/2022 10:34

We meet at 8pm, drink wine and posh nibbles, spend 85% of the time not talking about the book, then someone remembers it’s a book club so we talk about it for a bit, then it’s tea, coffee chocolates and sex, then we go home.
The host for the next book club chooses the book.

You have sex? Bit racy for a book club!

17to35 · 18/12/2022 10:41

We meet monthly
Drink, catch up, book discussion and then tea/coffee and cake.
People have varied tastes and I am probably on the more "literary" end -but not alone.
Some books are a surprise hit with everyone and others a bit of a flop. I think we're all willing to give it a go and also to forgive those who don't manage that month.
The best books for discussion are those where people wildly disagree.
We try and have a consensus for the next book.
Rotate round the houses but volunteers only.

Thereisnolight · 18/12/2022 10:42

How do you join a book club? Apart from knowing friends who have one but isn’t that more of a social friendship group?

I’d like to join one where they actually do read the book and chat about it and THEN chat about other things and where everyone enjoys reading. Have tried one or two advertised online, eg Meet-up but either dozens of people show or only a couple show - it’s too random.

Any tips much appreciated!

DashingWhiteSergeant · 18/12/2022 10:43

What happens at Book Club stays at Book Club!

Lummikukka · 18/12/2022 10:44

I've belonged to a few over the years, I guess on average it's 75% chat about the book 25% general chat.

They have all been 'meet up' book groups though - I'd be a bit wary of joining one where it was a long term group of friends, I imagine that could be pretty cliquey and more about just a social catch-up.

PermanentTemporary · 18/12/2022 10:48

Book clubs differ. Ours started as a community centre book club and was 100% about the book. Numbers varied and it was often quite big, then it slowly shrank. Cut to 18 years later, there are 6 of us, we meet at each other's houses and it's 80% social because we know each other so well. It's still a book club though and we generally do read the books and discuss them.

I would aim to join a club attached to a library, bookshop or community centre (start one?) That way it will be more neutral and more about the book.