What happens at your book club?

[Volumous]

I recently joined a book club through a loose friend (I love reading). I read the recommended book, and had lots of thoughts about it.

However, when I got to the book club night, one of the women basically smirked at me and said they don't always actually read the book, it's just an excuse to get together and to drink wine really. I then had an awkward evening because I didn't know anyone and had nothing to talk with them about.

Have I missed something here? Am I being an earnest wally turning up ready to have a (lighthearted!) talk about literature? What do you do at your book clubs?

I went to one about 15 years ago and it was as some others have described - very little book discussion mostly just a social in a pub. It was very welcoming but I think everyone worked together in a school so I felt like I was gatecrashing. Only went a few times.

I did an absolutely AWESOME creative writing class through my adult education centre about 5 years ago, though, and I would highly recommend that.

People who attend book club and don't read the book are missing the point. It's BOOK club. We have pre planned questions at ours it takes the conversation beyond 'I liked it'.
We also talk a lot about other stuff but the book is the focus for some of the evening at least.

Seven of us. We meet on the first Monday of each month and take it in turns to choose a book. If it's your turn, you host the evening meeting at your house, and provide crisps and wine or soft drink. We always discuss the book first, then end up having a general natter. It's worked for quite a few years!

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What did you think would happen at a book club ?

We meet on the last Thursday of the month for cheese, wine and snacks. We start by talking about the book (we choose in rotation) and whoever chose it talks first. We all score the book and the scores are kept in a notebook. We've been meeting for 20 years so there are e several notebooks! My bookgroup is the highlight of my month.

We spend about 50% of the time discussing the book, the other 50% discussing life and general topics.

I'd like to go to a book club where you talk about the book but every single one I've heard about is basically that. Just a Chardonnay piss up. Exhausting.

You have sex at your book club? How does that work?

I go to two, and we talk about the book at each.
The first one has been running for about 7 years with new people joining over that time. We spend about an hour talking about the book, taking it in turns to go round the table and give our feedback and a score. We even keep a league table of the top ten books with the highest average score. We then end up with general chit chat for another half an hour or so. But we probably talk about the book for about 60% of the time we’re together.

The other one is a newer group (less than a year). Rather than scoring we have discussion questions that everyone chips in on, so no going around the table. Once we’re done, it is then general chatting until people feel like going home.

The first group is Saturday afternoon in a cafe, the other is Thursday night in a pub. They both last about 2 hours, and both talk about the book (although at each there is always someone who hasn’t started/finished the book).

my neighbour set up a book club a year ago and asked me to join. There’s 9 of us in total, but attendance is normally 5-7 people. We meet every 5 to 6 weeks and rotate round peoples houses (on a voluntary basis). Take it in turns to choose a book, and we choose from our libraries book club reading list, which means there are multiple copies in the library and we don’t have to purchase the book.
We tend to discuss the book for the first hour or so, then it naturally moves on to general chit chat. The host provides wine/tea/nibbles. Everyone makes a good effort to read the book and generally finishes it but it’s fine if you haven’t.
I really enjoy the group and having a lovely discussion about the book. I think it works because we come together for the purpose of discussing the book. I didn’t know most of the women beforehand, although the majority are mums at my children’s school. I’ll now chat to them in the school playground but still only tend to see them socially at book group.
I was in another ‘book group’ with my main friendship group for a while. After a year or so of meeting with very discussion about the book/people not reading it, we admitted defeat, and it fizzled out. We do lots of socialising together anyway, and it was hard to separate a book group evening from a normal social get together. I hope you find a group that’s right for you, OP.

I joined one through our library that met at a pub near me. I stopped as I often didn’t like the book they chose (I think there’s some sort of list that goes around the library book clubs).

It was general chatting until everyone arrived, book discussion, then more general chat.

We meet once a month, and take it in turns to suggest a book and supply food and wine. We talk about the book for maybe a third of the time. Most people arrive having read it and with something to say. It hasn't occurred to us to have sex there. We are a bunch of women in our 50s and 60s with busy jobs, teenage and young adult DC.

My DH has a book club that is just informal with some friends.

They go out once a month and they seem to spend about 10 minutes discussing the book and the rest catching up, eating and drinking 😅

I went to one for over ten years but it kind of slowly became a social group of friends who all knew each other outside of book club and socialise lots outside of book club and that didn't include me, so it felt a bit weird when I did go, like I was gate crashing and listening to the in jokes and chats about socials they'd had.