Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

What age do adult children stop having their own room in their parents home?

62 replies

LittleGreyFluffyCat · 12/12/2022 19:54

I'm looking at our house which has got a bit full and chaotic, and thinking about whether to move things around/consider a loft conversion/move house.

When your kids left home, how long did you keep their bedroom intact with all their things? At what stage in a person's life do they feel adult enough for their parents to turn their bedroom into a spare room, or hobby room or whatever?

I will always, always welcome my kids, and am in no rush to have them leave, or repurpose their bedrooms, it's more that I know that sadly this will happen one day, I just have no idea what age it happens, so it's difficult to plan for.

OP posts:
Georgeskitchen · 12/12/2022 19:55

In the case of my kids, just after the front door swung shut 😉

ArcticSkewer · 12/12/2022 19:57

As soon as they left. We downsized so we had to. It's not a big deal. At that age they are usually looking forward not backward. Of course, if they are not emotionally in that space then take longer.

Ilikewinter · 12/12/2022 19:57

I moved out at 18 ..... my DB moved into my room straight away!. I never expected my room to be kept for me.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Skyeheather · 12/12/2022 19:57

My DM turned my room into an art room as soon as I left. It's her house and she can do what she likes with it as I can with my house. It didn't bother me at all.

PermanentTemporary · 12/12/2022 19:58

When they get a new address that is all year round.

Bosabosa · 12/12/2022 20:00

I certainly needed my own room to go back to in uni holidays, so would agree with PP, once they have another all year round address (not uni related)

Afterfire · 12/12/2022 20:00

When they have a permanent new home. Dd is at university so obviously she still has her room at home but when she moves out properly into a permanent rented or owned home then it’s time to shuffle round.

yomellamoHelly · 12/12/2022 20:00

We had to take ds's room completely apart due to damp (and demolish a wall!), so almost as soon as he was out of the door. Dd is now taking that room, and we're going to re-do her room (in a neutral way) which he will get use of when needed. Was a great push to get him to take stock of all his stuff.

FearofQueefing · 12/12/2022 20:06

Once I moved out permanently my old room was converted into an all-purpose spare room....

Upsidedownagain · 12/12/2022 20:06

When they have a stable job that's likely to last? When they buy a property? Move in with a partner? When they only visit you a few times a year (and live far away)? I guess you can't know that any of these things won't fall through, but that doesn't mean you need to be able to offer them a home forever.

I'm well old ( and have owned my own place for decades) but the room I used to have at my parents' house is still technically available though it was re-purposed long ago. When I stay there I sleep in a sofa bed in that room. But my parents never downsized.

Dragonskin · 12/12/2022 20:08

Whenever they have their own place to live, surely?

Dragonskin · 12/12/2022 20:10

And by that I mean a proper full time place whether it is bought, rented, house share or HMO, definitely not uni (where their permanent address is still at home) unless they have a place to live all year round and there isn't an expectation that they come home for big periods of time

HeleneLagonelle · 12/12/2022 20:11

I had a lot of younger siblings in an overcrowded house, so the minute I left for university aged 17, I no longer had a bedroom, or even a bed — if I came home in the vac, I was on the sofa.

TheTonEffect · 12/12/2022 20:13

My room was still there until I bought my house at 28, although I kept yo-yoing back to save for a deposit. Now it's a general guest room and I usually end up staying in a different room in the house if I stay over. It was the same for my siblings - once they were officially set up else where their room gradually got turned in to something else.

LisaJool · 12/12/2022 20:14

In an ideal world they will always have a room in my house. Realistically that's not going to happen as I rent and will need to downsize when they leave. I'll invest in sofa beds when that happens, I always want them to feel they are welcome at mine.

itssquidstella · 12/12/2022 20:15

My mum moved house the term I finished university and, although I moved back 'home' for a couple of months after graduation, the room I had there wasn't really mine. I was very welcome, of course, but I paid a small amount of rent and it felt like a transitory arrangement.

I'd have been upset not to have a room at home whilst I was still studying and coming home during the holidays, but once I'd finished university it felt like the right time to move on and I wasn't bothered not to have 'my' room anymore.

Squeezedsquash · 12/12/2022 20:17

My sister has lived by herself in a different country since she was 21, and my parents made sure she still had her “own room” when they moved when she was 28. At 37, they moved again and finally when she visits for a couple of days a year she’s in a generic “spare room”.

at 22 my parents told me they couldn’t keep any more of my stuff in their (huge) loft as it was time for me to be independent. They moved when I was 21 and things in their loft were a couple of boxes of a level notes.

CombatBarbie · 12/12/2022 20:24

Do you mean as in its still their room with childhood memorabilia? My parents just redecorated both rooms when we all moved out, now used for grandkids and when I visit/stay over.

CombatBarbie · 12/12/2022 20:25

Our "stuff" that we didn't take is boxed in the attic. I have most of mine but there's a few from my siblings

Badtasteflump · 12/12/2022 20:29

I find the idea of keeping their room the same as when they lived there a bit weird. When our eldest moved out we redecorated, got a desk and a sofa bed and now use it as an office/guest room.

RandomUsernameHere · 12/12/2022 20:33

Once they have their own home I think it's fine if you use their room as a spare room. I have "my room" at my DParents' house (I'm 37 with my own house) but it's really just the spare room and guests use it too. My DC also have a room at DParents' house!

doodleygirl · 12/12/2022 20:35

When they bought their own homes.

Merrow · 12/12/2022 20:37

Mine was untouched until I was 36, but it was the box room and they didn't need the space! DPs parents turned up with all her worldly belongings when we were in a shitty house rental set up (it had rats and mould) for no discernible reason - they weren't moving or in need of space.

I would say good to have their room available while they're at university / insecure living arrangements. After that if they don't have a home of their own and you have the space very good to store their belongings!

Penaltyshootoutfan · 12/12/2022 20:38

She will always have her room in our home. She’s 25 and obviously lived here as. Child, now stays here when she visits either alone or with her partner. It’s her room and always will be, with her stuff in it, all her toiletries and she leaves things like hoodies and jogging bottoms so she can pack less to visit

if we moved we would still have her room.

we do have other guests use the room,which she is happy with, but it’s her room .

AlwaysLatte · 12/12/2022 20:41

We waited until the older two had bought their own houses, as they often need to come back home between rentals. The younger two then got their own rooms, but we'll do the same when their time comes.