DS wants to drop out of uni (again) and join the army - help!

[ApplesAndCheese]

Ds came home from uni this weekend and said that he thinks university is not for him and he wants to join the army intelligence corps. He's 19, and this is his 2nd go-around at university as he dropped out last year after the first term unhappy with his course and living arrangements. He says that this time, the living arrangements are much better and he's generally happier in himself, but still feels that the (lack of) structure of university life really doesn't suit him, he's wasting money and just wants more job security, to earn money, and to feel like he's doing something 'worthwhile'.

I don't really disagree with his reasoning, want to be supportive, and of course he is an adult and can technically do what he likes, but I feel really worried about this. I just cannot see him even getting through basic training (sorry ds!) - he is so skinny, hasn't done any sport since school, is a quiet and gentle soul who is happiest sitting on his bed, writing songs and playing guitar. I can't see him running miles with a bergen on his back, or face down in a muddy field! I'm also worried that this might be another thing he doesn't stick at.

I don't think university is the be-all-and-end-all (even though I'm a university lecturer!) and I don't really have a moral objection to him going into the army but...I feel winded by his announcement. I'm worried that he's basing this on a couple of CCF camps he did at school which he really enjoyed, but that's not 'real' army life, is it? He's already visited the recruitment office apparently and started his application.

Don't know what I want from this thread really, a bit of reassurance that this could be a good thing? I'm just worried about him and want him to be happy but this seems so...drastic! Anyone got any wise words?

Then he’ll just have to find a job he likes and will work at.
He’s not a child and needs to stand on his own two feet. Tell him it’s a great idea to join the army, he should start training at the gym to pass the fitness tests, then let him crack on.

So what if he does drop out of the army too? He’s young, he’s trying to figure out what he wants to do in life and he won’t if he isn’t able to try.

You need to support him, not steer him in a direction you think is more appropriate for him.

I AM supporting him.

Where have I said I'm not supporting him, or trying to 'steer' him?

It's a sudden decision, I have some concerns and would like a bit of reassurance, as I expect 1000s of mothers in my situation have before me. Hence the thread.

Also really don't want to be pedantic but you've got slightly confused about what Regular means.

Apologies for not being completely on top of all the terminology, either.

It really isn't rubbish. And of course I don't mean that any old biff can pass out.

If you don't reach the standard, you are sent for remedial, and this continues through training, so there is every opportunity to succeed

And by that point, you have joined. Which is why it's wrong to say its a barrier to joining.

The key issue is what lack of fitness is also telling you about motivation. That's not so easily fixed. And may well lead to leaving, possibly quite early in training.

OP if he's interested in the intelligence ride, MI5 (maybe MI6?) are often recruiting for intelligence. No fitness requirement either. But obviously entirely different training 😉

You've had quite a lot of nice, reassuring advice through the thread which you appear to be mostly ignoring and instead occasionally responding to snip at people so...🤷🏼‍♀️.

What happened OP? Did your DS join the army? My DC has just joined the Royal Navy after coming home after Uni and announcing it out of the blue. No military background but enjoying it so far.

He sounds focused

Good for him

My husband had a full career in the RAF. Both of our children and I have university degrees. He is bringing in the highest wage; and he left school with a couple of O Levels! His RAF pension is pretty damn near the same as my full time Civil Service wage. RAF personnel come in all shapes and sizes and by the looks of the people I work with on a daily basis, the physical fitness side of the gubbins can't be too onerous!

Her!