DS wants to drop out of uni (again) and join the army - help!

[ApplesAndCheese]

Ds came home from uni this weekend and said that he thinks university is not for him and he wants to join the army intelligence corps. He's 19, and this is his 2nd go-around at university as he dropped out last year after the first term unhappy with his course and living arrangements. He says that this time, the living arrangements are much better and he's generally happier in himself, but still feels that the (lack of) structure of university life really doesn't suit him, he's wasting money and just wants more job security, to earn money, and to feel like he's doing something 'worthwhile'.

I don't really disagree with his reasoning, want to be supportive, and of course he is an adult and can technically do what he likes, but I feel really worried about this. I just cannot see him even getting through basic training (sorry ds!) - he is so skinny, hasn't done any sport since school, is a quiet and gentle soul who is happiest sitting on his bed, writing songs and playing guitar. I can't see him running miles with a bergen on his back, or face down in a muddy field! I'm also worried that this might be another thing he doesn't stick at.

I don't think university is the be-all-and-end-all (even though I'm a university lecturer!) and I don't really have a moral objection to him going into the army but...I feel winded by his announcement. I'm worried that he's basing this on a couple of CCF camps he did at school which he really enjoyed, but that's not 'real' army life, is it? He's already visited the recruitment office apparently and started his application.

Don't know what I want from this thread really, a bit of reassurance that this could be a good thing? I'm just worried about him and want him to be happy but this seems so...drastic! Anyone got any wise words?

Intelligence corps in the army sounds fascinating
For many a degree and a 50K debt in a subject that is not respected by employers is a total waste of time
I would encourage him
He will get fit
Test himself
Find that he has abilities he did not know he had
Increase his confidence
Increase his independence
Make good friends

What’s he doing at uni or his interests? There’s a big push for cyber security in tri services at the moment and can go on to earn +++ in civilian life after

How well does he think he'll cope with following orders, exhaustion and so on? Picking a soft/intellectual destination like IC without an understanding of the route to get there, together with not being in physical condition might be heroic thinking. Advise him to get himself into physical shape during his first year at university and do CCF/territorial-equivalent but even those tend to being soft/cushy compared to the machine.

It’s good he has a plan, help and support him
as much as you can.

I used to be in the Int Corps. It was a while ago but the fitness requirements were pretty tough, so if he's thinking of doing that i would check what the minimum requirements are.

Depending on what it is he wants to do (and am aware it has changed a lot since i left) there are other fitness requirements, and there are a lot of tests. You often end up in a room with a lot of horribly intelligent people though (my lot anyway). I did have a fantastic time though, although i'm not sure I'd suggest a career in the military with anyone who isn't brilliant about sticking to doing things they don't like

OP I assume he'd want to be an officer if he's got A levels?

not sure what it's like now but we had people in my troop with degrees, one with a masters, and not one an officer. In fact the officers were more of admin-management (one sproggy officer really was only good for making tea for the first 3 months).
Depending on what he's going to do in the IntCorps though. we were highly specialised which often gave a lot of our work a very academic feeling.

My husband joined the Army at around the same age and has been in ever since. He was also, in principle, clever enough to be an officer but didn't want to be. There are pros and cons but being an officer is essentially quite boring after a while and if you don't make Major, that's the end of a decent career at around 30 years old. There's plenty of progression to be found in other ranks with more chance for fun along the way.

I would also say your prejudices are showing slightly with some of your comments. Interesting, funny, thoughtful, creative people join the Armed Forces.

If he wants in, he needs to get fit. Plenty of resources online.

Has he considered an apprenticeship? Structure, proper job, opportunity for more education further down the track?

When I was a teen the army did what were essentially trial days on base. You'd go for a long run, do fitness test - chin ups, push ups, sit ups... Take a few written tests, play some leadership games. If you weren't fit enough or struggled with the other aspects they wouldn't take you forward, they'd tell you to go away and improve. I'd try to get him to look for something like this so he can get a taste.

I think that you should let your son make his own decisions and mistakes. It's a learning curve . You never know the army could be the making of him. He won't know unless he tries. A regimental structured life may really suit. Maybe he can start trying to get his fitness levels up now.

There are also lots of jobs in the services that aren't combat based as such- IT etc

worked with someone who did his full 25 years in the Army. Most of it intelligence and he finished as Senior Warrant Officer (Highest ranking NCO) and thats currently high 50k salary. he went around the world and didnt have to fight (obviously there may be a requirement for that). He left, worked with me in another job for a few years and recently was recruited to his old role but has a civilian. based in Cyprus watching/analysing drone footage, intelligence reports etcso tax free salary, house with pool on a subsidised rent, flights home. No col increase really plus he is on full army pension. He loved the army joining at 18 and he's made a career plus out of it.

Did he ever want to go to uni in the first place or did you push him into it

What didn't he like about his living arrangements first time?

Army training is tough, living in shared spaces, mixing with a wide range of people, eating army rations and needing to keep fitness levels up. I think the army can be great but it isn't an easy path.

However selection process should determine if he can get in so let him get to that stage but he needs a back up.
Regarding the room - can you get him to find a replacement so that he is taking responsibility- if it was his own money thats what he would do.

@Pedallleur you should really be careful what you're writing there, you might not realise it but it's actually pretty identifying and has security concerns all over it!

I joined the Army at 17 - I weighed 48kg at the time and am 5ft tall so not your typical soldier frame and build!
I got through basic training without a drama but it did take quite a lot of hard graft. They build up your physical ability during the time spent at basic so as long as you have a fair level of fitness (for me it was being able to run 1.5 miles in 14 minutes which was easily doable) it's not so bad.
I'm not serving any more as my husband is serving and we didn't want both of us serving with children in the mix too but it was still the best decision I could have made to join. It meant I left home, lived overseas and had some brilliant experiences all before I was 23!
I would say support him in this decision - it isn't the be all and end all if it doesn't work out.

Yeah, I pushed him into it. I am an evil academic, obsessed with him going to university because that's the only thing that matters in the world

I also attended two 'look at life' week long courses (For Royal Signals and Adjutant Generals Corps) which were a good insight into Army life specific to those corps so if they're still running those it'd be good for him to try a couple to get a taste of it.

If he’s unfit it’s unlikely he’ll get in.

is that a yes or no

Fitness levels can (and will) be fixed. Lack of fitness isn't a barrier to joining up.

The issue is motivational. People applying for the forces damned well ought to know its a physical job and you need to demonstrate certain levels of fitness at regular intervals (even if in a non-fighting role)

So people who are well motivated generally work to improve their fitness between decision to give it a go and actual joining, and so are usually adequately fit by then or well on the way to being so. What does it tell you about motivation is someone hasn't done that?

They're not written off - the military will give them a chance (and remedial fitness training). But there's often some other barrier, to do with motivation and attitude, and that's best discovered early on (when it might still be fixed, or it's straightforward to leave)

He needs to check his BMI if he gets invited for the Army Assessment at Litchfield. Not worth going there to be sent away straight away.

Also really don't want to be pedantic but you've got slightly confused about what Regular means.

A Regular is a full time military person. So you can be a Regular Officer or a Regular Tom/Jock.

A Reservist (which your OH wants to be) is a a part-time military person. Again Officer OR junior rank.

Fitness levels can (and will) be fixed. Lack of fitness isn't a barrier to joining up.

What a load of rubbish! It absolutely IS a barrier to joining!

If you can't reach the minimum level of fitness you will not get passed to the next part of the recruitment process.

You will be sent away to get yourself fitter.

To be honest the level of fitness is to join is extremely low nowadays and they will have to continually improve once they go to basic.

@Ban assuming they mean fitness can be developed, assuming someone is otherwise healthy there's no reason to think they wouldn't be able to train to be fit enough.

(Prior to applying)