Received a (TW) pic. So angry!

[Spudlet]

So TW for anyone who would be upset by mention of unsolicited NSFW pics.

Some grubby little man has sent me a dick pic today. I got it when I was getting changed after taking ds(6) swimming - it’s bloody lucky he didn’t see it as that would have been an awkward conversation that I really don’t want to have right now. I assume he took my phone number off my website (I run a business). I’ve had some vaguely suggestive messages before (from different numbers) but this is the first time I’ve had an image sent.

I have reported it to the police although I don’t think they can do anything. I’m just so angry! I feel so bloody impotent to do anything beyond blocking the number and cross referencing my client database to make sure it isn’t one of them (I doubt it, but you never know). And taking my number off all my marketing materials and website which is in itself infuriating because it will lose me business, and it takes time and will have costs involved (like reprinting things).

Just - fucking men! And yes, of course not all men. But too many men nonetheless. I don’t even have a question or anything for this thread, I’m just so bloody angry!

Reverse image search him, or look up his phone number. Send it to his mum, his boss and his wife.

Ugh. Poor you, that's awful.
I'd be wondering if he's married, & thinking, his poor wife, married to THAT..

I’m not going near the pic again, but I might Google the number. I don’t really want to engage with him tbh though

This should be treated as the same as public flashing. Grubby little men. I am so sick of men thinking that women just exist as their entertainment.

If it had come through a few seconds later I would have been sitting beside my son helping him to put his shoes on, so he’d have been able to see my phone screen. Wonder if the sick little gobshite would get off on the thought of a child seeing that too. Ugh.

I really think there should be a public website where we could upload these with the number that sent it. These creeps might stop it if they knew their wife, girlfriend, mum or boss could go online and check whether they're a dick pic sender.

Completely agree!!

About a year or so ago an acquaintance of mine posted on social media about a shopping spree.

I commented under the photo and she replied that her dh was handy for carrying the bags.

I've never met her dh, I do know his name though. In the early hours of the next morning her dh sent me a photo of himself, naked. Said to keep it between ourselves.

He also sent a follow up apology msg, said he'd had a lot to drink, had been working out more and was proud of his body but he should never have sent that pic.

I didn't reply to him, I deleted his photo.

I often wonder if I should have showed her it but I had a lot going on and couldn't be bothered with other people's shit.

@scoopoftheday Ugh. What a nasty little man. Don’t blame you for not wanting the drama but ugh. It’s just so minging and depressing and small and grubby and inadequate, isn’t it?

Cyberflashing has been a criminal offence in England and Wales since March this year, as part of the Online Safety Bill. (About time too - it's been illegal in Scotland since 2010!)

I really think the police take this quite seriously.

Is that bill now law in England? Excellent. Maybe they will be able to do something about it after all. Even if not, at least I’ve done something.

I'd google the number, perhaps it's on his website and we can leave him a review.

Didn't finish that comment...

I think police should take it quite seriously as it's a sexual offence (but not part of the Sexual Offences Act, I think this was to speed up it being made an offence). If it has happened in the street, it would be taken much more seriously. It's probably easier to track it sent as a message, and surely it's a clear-cut case!

Dick pics do not need a TW ffs 🤦‍♀️

Just delete and move on with your day.

Ugh isnt it disgusting! I got one about a month ago. I replied pretending I was the police, he quickly deleted every single social media account he had 🤣

Send him a message back. That you would normally ignore such a disgusting message - but you had shown your friend who is a Doctor. They were very concerned at the mark on your penis, and that you should seek medical help. Whilst what he sent was totally unacceptable, you are a better person and feel it only right that you let him know.

Add his number to your contacts. Go to WhatsApp, see if he’s on there with a profile pic.

Reverse image search that and see if it links to his social media.

Why is it that some men think that women actually want to see pictures of their junk? They are not a pretty sight at the best of times, and no woman is ever going to say 'Phwoar, I want some of that'.

'Hand me the secateurs' more like.

Why would you remove your number to the detriment of your business? Don't cut your nose off to spit your face.
You will still get cyber flashed until the government does something more than a Bill.
And FFS do not send the photo to his family, you'd be flashing them.
By all means, look his phone up on WhatsApp, SnapChat, Insta, Facebook et al though.

I have no interest in looking this person up. And I’m certainly not sending that picture to anywhere, beyond sending it to the police if they want it.

I just want them to fuck off.

"This message has been found to contain inappropriate material. This message has been automatically forward to the (insert local police) along with users mobile phone details."

Send that as a message! Usually enough to scare off dirty creeps. I'm so sorry you had to go through this.

Why should women just delete and ignore? These men need to be held accountable for their behaviour.

Because it’s just a dick pic.

We do not have the resources to be able to handle horny men showing off even if you believe we should.

@YellowTreeHouse - who is we? Do you have the same attitude towards flashers? How about men who grope women on the tube? Why should women just have to put up with this?

I’d be inclined to do all I could to make him feel very uncomfortable. I’d be looking his phone number up (I think you can find them on WhatsApp) and trying to track down any social media. I’d then post on his page (tagging in anyone he appeared to be in a relationship with) that you had received his unsolicited dick pic, which had narrowly been missed by your child, and that you had reported his number to the police for sexual harassment.

But I’m a firm believer that men shouldn’t get away with this sort of shit and we all know the police don’t have the resources to deal with this.

So is this 'we' the British police as a whole you're speaking on behalf of?

Sure, you as an individual may think this is a small matter For me it explains why so much of the time, the police response to violence against and harassment against women is so shit. We're just not worth your time.