Older women and how they remember the menopause

[TroubledRabbit]

Just been chatting to my lovely, trained as a nurse, mil whose daughter is struggling with cancer treatment. Apparently she's struggling to sleep and I said, 'it must be hard with separating side effects from the menopause'

Quick as a flash, MIL declared she, herself, had no symptoms and sailed through so it was unlikely to be that.

I've been with DH a long time, Mil was 55 when I met her and a bit broken, not much fun, understandably weighed down by the previous ten years of high need elderly parents, teens and working.

DH remembers her debilitating migraines. her lack of humour in those days.
Since retirement she's fitter, more relaxed and good company.

Any thoughts?
Is this just simply as we age we don't want to think of our chubby toddlers as middle aged, starting to sag adults?
Has mil got such a firm grasp of the Grip that carried her through that tough decade that she cant, even now, put it down?
My own menopause, not discussed with mil, has been such a nightmare that I'm intrigued that the quick answer was 'sailed through'.

Bastard hormones @DilemmaDelilah , best wishes, hope you have a good weekend.

Years of agonising cramps, vomiting, mood swings and the full nine yards of menstrual ghastliness made me look forward to the menopause, in a way.

Menstruation ceased at age 50, as if turning a switch.
I was already stressed to buggery with my job, so didn't notice any extra angst.
Similarly, my SVT palpitations episodes and ectopics were already in place, so impossible to distinguish from menopausal symptoms.
Some hot flushes, not many, and thinning hair. Wish my hair was OK.

I like to think that the not giving any fucks, not taking any shit, not suffering fools gladly and wisdom are also products of the menopause. 😀

This. Many of us are absolutely fine. People are just different, so we all have different experiences. It's very simple.

Absolutely. If I am bad-tempered etc it's probably just my horrible personality 😂

Apparently she's struggling to sleep and I said, 'it must be hard with separating side effects from the menopause

this is a really weird comment though.

why must it be hard separating the effects of chemo with the menopause? Why do they need separating? If she’s not sleeping she’s not sleeping, and it really doesn’t matter why. do you think she’s worried as she lies awake at night whether it’s menopause or chemo?

plus why comment about her being in menopause? Is it any of your business? Do you even know she’s in menopause or are you making assumptions?

menopause is not the sole focus of some women. They have other things to think about, like whether chemo is working.

next time keep your mouth shut about the poor woman’s reproductive cycles and sympathise that she’s having a shit time. It really does not matter why!

Damn right. And as for all these posters who noticed that when they were in their teens their mothers were suddenly horrible... 🤔. I think there might be more than one factor at play there.