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Original poster

Screaming neighbour

84 replies

catlady1234 · 30/11/2022 08:54

A couple live in the flat above us. I would guess they are late 20's/ early 30's. They don't have any children.

They only moved in around 6 months ago. I see the man often in the hall and by the car park but iv only seen the woman once when I was looking out the window. The man is very friendly and chatty.

We can hear the woman screaming day & night. She screams 'NOOOO' constantly! It sounds like she is screaming at the top of her voice.
Iv woken up in the night before and heard her hysterically crying. Every day we hear some form of shouting. It's been going on since the day they moved in.

Is he abusing her? Is she unwell?

Our flat is under offer so I'm reluctant to make any formal complaints incase it impacts our sale.

WWYD? Shall I go knock when they are shouting? Mention it next time I see him? Call the police anonymously?

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 30/11/2022 09:01

I'd get a welfare check done

Original poster
catlady1234 · 30/11/2022 09:05

@girlmom21 how would I arrange that?

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 30/11/2022 09:06

catlady1234 · 30/11/2022 09:05

@girlmom21 how would I arrange that?

Call 101

Bard6817 · 30/11/2022 09:23

We have similar - a screaming foul mouthed harpie who screams abuse at her kids, the sort of vile filth about how much she hates them, their dad, the boyfriend, that they should live with their dad, apparently it’s her **ing house and they should get out. Been hearing it since they were 5/6 years old.

We recorded it, and i assure you, you would be beaten or arrested if you said these vile things to anyone but your own kids.

But alas, Social services did nowt.

Nhs did nowt when we reported her drug taking even though she is a mid wife. Unbelievable really.

Police only intervened when one of her boyfriends put hands on someone outside the home.

So, good luck…. I hope the young lady in your neighbourhood, needs help, she gets it. However, make sure you have some evidence to back yourself up. These things can go all wrong if you can’t prove you aren’t being a nosy busybody.

LovesLongEarrings · 30/11/2022 09:33

A resounding YES to reporting this. You may be her only lifeline. She may seriously be at risk. It may be that she’s isolated, given you’ve rarely seen her outside of the flat. Maybe he controls who she can see/where she can go (common in DFV/coercive control situations, unfortunately).

What a sorry state of affairs it is, when because of UK rules about neighbour disturbances/property sales, a woman can potentially be subjected to domestic violence-maybe torture even-and yet no one reports her screams. SCREAMS. Actual screams and shouts of ‘No.’ That’s completely and utterly fucked up that you (or anyone else) would not immediately summon help for her.

Report anonymously: You’re not in dispute with your nieghbour-You’re undertaking a welfare concern report (anonymously if you want). Please don’t let this woman continue to live in potential hell. Who knows: One day it may be you or another MumsNet reader who may be the person who needs help.

I’m glad you’re contemplating doing the right thing :) If no one does anything, there’s no deterrent for him.

Pease make that phone call.

Original poster
catlady1234 · 30/11/2022 09:37

@Bard6817

That's what I'm a bit worried about, just seeming like a petty neighbour.

If you heard it, I think she sounds mentally unwell. The way she screams! You can't ever hear him shouting which worries me. And they don't have kids.

I'm tempted just to leave it a hopefully we'l be selling up and moving soon anyway.
It just keeps playing on my mind that maybe he is abusing her or something.

I wonder if they are aware that people can hear them? I think only us (below) or the flat next to them should be able to hear because of the layout of our block.

OP posts:
RLOU30 · 30/11/2022 09:41

This has been going on 6 months and you haven’t reported it because your worried about the impact on your house sale? Christ.

Fleurdaisy · 30/11/2022 09:44

Whether she’s mentally unwell, being abused, being coerced— she’s screaming for a reason and needs help. Call 101 say lady at this address needs a welfare check. Police will not only talk to her but can refer onwards and check PNC in case there were reports from a previous address, her partner has form etc..

Original poster
catlady1234 · 30/11/2022 09:45

@LovesLongEarrings

I completely agree with you.

But unfortunately it's not that easy. Reporting your neighbours can have real consequences. We have a young child and Im worried about putting our family in a compromised situation.

There are only 2 flats that should be able to hear them. So it may be obvious to them who has reported it

OP posts:
AssumingDirectControl · 30/11/2022 09:46

I would have rung the police a long time ago.

This isn’t a neighbour dispute, it’s a welfare concern.

RLOU30 · 30/11/2022 09:48

Not necessarily, people walking past the block could have heard it if she is screaming that loud- which tbh they are more likely to think considering it’s been going on months and you haven’t done anything before.

RudsyFarmer · 30/11/2022 09:50

If it’s happening in the night I would assume night terrors.

Original poster
catlady1234 · 30/11/2022 09:51

@RLOU30

That's not the main reason.

The main reason is I'm worried about the consequences for reporting a neighbour who we live in a block with. We have a young child and it would be worrying to have neighbours knowing we have reported them.

We are moving to a house with a garden because of our child. I think most people would worry about the impact of 'bad neighbours' when trying to sell

OP posts:
ChristmasCakeAndStilton · 30/11/2022 09:51

Please don't leave it.
You are not starting a dispute (that would be calling the council to complain about the noise), you are raising a welfare concern about a lady you rarely see out of the house, and who is frequently heard screaming or crying. That isnt something that is required to be declared on selling a house.

tensmumm · 30/11/2022 09:53

It should have been urgently reported. I couldn't have lived under someone screaming and possibly being tortured for 6 months. Don't you have a visceral reaction to this? Give her a chance and let the professionals decide. It doesn't matter that she doesn't have children, women are valuable humans in their own right. There is nothing petty about being concerned about another person's distress, and the circumstances make it especially alarming.

Bard6817 · 30/11/2022 10:07

tensmumm · 30/11/2022 09:53

It should have been urgently reported. I couldn't have lived under someone screaming and possibly being tortured for 6 months. Don't you have a visceral reaction to this? Give her a chance and let the professionals decide. It doesn't matter that she doesn't have children, women are valuable humans in their own right. There is nothing petty about being concerned about another person's distress, and the circumstances make it especially alarming.

There are real world consequences for those who choose to get involved.

We have been subjected to violence as a result of reporting. Thankfully, thats stopped now, but we had to take extreme measures to halt it.

And being blunt, SS, NHS, and Police did nada.

We did our bit the right way, it was child abuse, we both work in protective environments where we have legal obligations to report and we did the right thing. It changed nothing but make our lives more difficult for about 2 years.

It’s easy to sit on the sidelines and criticise people for not getting involved, when you don’t have to suffer the consequences or risks.

Oooooooooooooh · 30/11/2022 10:16

I agree @Bard6817 , its really sad but that's the reality now

tensmumm · 30/11/2022 10:19

I've been at both sides living the reality thanks, so it's not easy at all. I've had to make reports and I've been a victim so I give my thoughts accordingly.

Original poster
catlady1234 · 30/11/2022 10:28

@tensmumm

The consequences for my family could be dangerous. We share a communal hallway with them. I'm often at home with my child alone while my partner works.

I have just tried to report via the met police website (101 says to report online) but I have to give all my details which I don't feel comfortable doing.

OP posts:
Sprouttreesareamazing · 30/11/2022 10:30

Well when the black ambulance comes that's your worry over isn't it?

SouperNoodle · 30/11/2022 10:35

Stop trying to justify your lack of action. This woman could end up dead by him and it'll be blood on his and your hands.
It's been 6 months and you've done fuck all to help that poor woman.

girlmom21 · 30/11/2022 10:36

Do it online and put 'undisclosed' in the name and their own address in the address section if you need to.

girlmom21 · 30/11/2022 10:36

SouperNoodle · 30/11/2022 10:35

Stop trying to justify your lack of action. This woman could end up dead by him and it'll be blood on his and your hands.
It's been 6 months and you've done fuck all to help that poor woman.

This is really unfair though. If he kills her it wouldn't be the OP's fault. It would be his.

Outtasteamandluck · 30/11/2022 10:40

Does she scream when he's not there ?

SouperNoodle · 30/11/2022 10:41

Yes it would be his fault but she would not be without blame knowing she had 6 months to involve the police to stop it getting to that point. That poor woman is all alone with not a soul helping her.

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