Screaming neighbour

[catlady1234]

A couple live in the flat above us. I would guess they are late 20's/ early 30's. They don't have any children.

They only moved in around 6 months ago. I see the man often in the hall and by the car park but iv only seen the woman once when I was looking out the window. The man is very friendly and chatty.

We can hear the woman screaming day & night. She screams 'NOOOO' constantly! It sounds like she is screaming at the top of her voice.
Iv woken up in the night before and heard her hysterically crying. Every day we hear some form of shouting. It's been going on since the day they moved in.

Is he abusing her? Is she unwell?

Our flat is under offer so I'm reluctant to make any formal complaints incase it impacts our sale.

WWYD? Shall I go knock when they are shouting? Mention it next time I see him? Call the police anonymously?

If you're not scared and you'd rather not have anything on record, then go round there and ask if everything is ok.

We reported screams coming from our neighbours property. We also had a young child and worried about consequences of being 'that neighbour' who reported. Turns out she was being physically and sexually assaulted by her husband. She had called police previously but then dropped charges as many victims of abuse do. Because of previous call, the police turned up in droves on our street. About 10 officers in total and he was arrested.

She was like a different person this time. Didn't drop charges as she felt validated by a neighbour's support. I'm very glad we did phone and didn't just feign ignorance.

That's probably what I used to sound like when I was being abused, because he had his physical strength against me, and all I had was my voice. I thought all the neighbours loved him, because he would always talk to them and charm them, whereas I was too scared to talk to them. Turns out that they knew what was going on, and helped me to flee and to call the police. It's really common for the abuser to be a narcissist, and narcissists can be incredibly charming and socially aware, whilst being the perpetrators of horrific abuse and violence behind closed doors. The only way I can describe my screaming, was like a wild animal stuck in a cage. It was when it became just unbearable I would be trying to be quiet, and then I would just not be able to suppress the noise of anguish and pain and fear sometimes. I thought they must think I was a crazy person, the mad woman in the attic, and that he was just this model citizen who was always standing at the garden fence making nice with the neighbours. I know from the domestic violence courses and groups I've attended and books I've read, that this is not uncommon. Some abusive men are just bullies to everyone, but lots of them have two selves, the outer self the person they show the world and the inner self, the one who they show you over time as the abuse intensifies. That can be really hard, especially when they are a well liked person in the neighbourhood and in a work role, and people see them as the friendly local vicar or the charming young school teacher, and not the perpetrator of violence at home. Because it makes the victim believe that nobody will believe them, and often they don't. Especially when the victim
seems to be more socially awkward, doesn't have a big presence outside the home and is less well known or liked.

Jesus Christ. The amount of nasty judgemental people on here is ridiculous!!

Iv come here to ask advice! Some of you are disgusting.

Like another pp said - she could just be a gamer. Some very dramatic assumptions being made here. My next door neighbour's daughter screams like a banshee when she's playing, sometimes scares me to death! My own kids also scream when gaming...if you didnt know what it was it would be pretty alarming! I think I'd be more inclined to knock and speak to her...she probably doesnt realise how noisy shes being.

I have reported my concerns to the police via their website.

I don't know why she is screaming but I hope it's nothing sinister.

I hope there isn't any repercussions for me & my family

I guess like the situation with a PP it was the validation from my neighbours, ultimately, that helped me leave that relationship. Because realising that they didn't think I was a crazy person, and that they validated my experience when the rest of the world (including my own family) couldn't see through his facade, that I felt able to voice what was going on and get free for good. I knew this because they did a welfare check and although my ex didn't let them in, I knew I was not alone anymore

You've done the right thing OP

Thank you @catlady1234 you have done the right thing, hold your head up 💐

This seems sensible – can you do this? Get your DP to engage him in conversation for 10 minutes down at the car park, even, while you knock on their door? Chances are, her reaction will tell you what's going on, one way or another.

You have nothing to lose by trying a report in which you give your name as "Not willing to disclose this", have you?

Ignore me – I see you've reported it, great. Hopefully this will be the end of it.

The police have just knocked on my door!

Iv told them I don't want them to know iv reported them.

I'm very stressed that they came to my door.

That was quick!

If you are wanting to move then you will have a legal duty to declare any neighbour disputes - If you fail then the future buyer can come back with legal action against you.

So make sure you report anonymously.

They will go to other neighbours too. Did you let them in?

@AbsolutelyFuckingSick

I know! I'm a bit in shock. They came in but I think they could see I was very panicked and they said they would leave and talk to them but would just use my report

Is the male neighbour out at present?

Do not worry, yours won't be the only door they knock on and it sounds like they were not in yours long.

You did the right thing by reporting. Whatever the reason she needs support.

The police have left. I saw their car drive off.

I don't know who's home. I don't ever hear him. But his car is outside so I think he is.

Hopefully they are helping her/them or making them aware that people are concerned

She might be having night terrors or similar. Well done for reporting though, it is worth checking out.

The police came so quickly! I'm glad they're taking it seriously.

Thank you for caring OP - and for reporting.

I'm sure it won't come back to you. If your neighbour says they saw police talking to you say they thought it was there flat/got the wrong address etc., though I'm sure you will all be ok. You have every right to put your own family's welfare first.

Sounds like it could be psychosis or something, in which case I hope your neighbours get the help they need.

For police to have been and gone in under an hour via a crimestoppers webform is fast and hopefully means it'll be looked at properly.

This is scaremongering unnecessarily. It's not a dispute. Calling the police because a woman is screaming incessantly doesn't constitute a dispute. You're just offering people another get-out clause for doing nothing.

I'm delighted to hear that the police acted so promptly, OP.