I think I might have an issue drinking alcohol

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I definitely wouldn't consider myself an alcoholic. I learned from a young age, from when I was in my 20s, what my Palcohol limits were. I never saw the point in going out to pubs and clubs every weekend and getting drunk and then suffering with hangovers.

During the lockdown of 2020, especially in the winter I enjoyed home cocktails. I used to have about 2 or 3 evenings a week where I enjoyed making cocktails. I didn't stay with that habit of drinking most evenings.

All this time later. Since September, I came to enjoy some drinks in the evenings at home. I don't go to the pub. I like to have some drinks at home.

Before it was only really a drink or two maybe 1 or 2 evenings in the week. With maybe another night at the weekends too.

Now, I am having drinks nearly most evenings. If I experience a bad day in work, I go home and my answer is to have some drinks. Work can have various levels of stress and intensity and just some amount of bull shit that I would nearly consider bullying from my boss. It doesn't happen every day or every week from her but she has her moments for sure. Just moody and bossy and overly critical and just absolute horrible. Only sees whatever she wants to see. All the work that is done and even going above and beyond and she will focus in on something that is jot done.

When I have a stressful day I gain an attitude in the evenings of 'I just don't care any more' and I have more drinks.

I had a bad week a few weeks ago and basically since then I am drinking at home nearly every evening. I know my limits and its only ever really a drink or two or maybe even sometime 3. It might be wine or a baileys hot chocolate or a cider or a combination of them.

Basically I think it's happening more and more. The drinking at home. This is somewhat of a slight issue I feel because I now have and underlying condition. I am prone to getting diverticulitis. I had 3 flares already this year. Thankfully I was able to recognise signs of a flare and I never needed hospital. I am in a constant low level pain in my left side now nearly every day. I don't know if it's a flare or not. I don't think so.

Basically I don't think the drinking is helping me with inflammation and my belly pains. I think I might be able to feel better without the drinking or just less of it.

Then I am having issues with some stress where I enjoy a drink or two in the evenings. I know myself I can't continue like this. I need to reduce it down.

I have stress coming at me from every angle.

• work
• an aging mother
• a nut job ex who won't stop stalking and harrassing me. I am not in the UK where civil law about this are much better. The only legal ave8open for me is an injunction which I can't afford.

So yeah, I'm drinking most evenings but I am feeling it in my belly.

I definitely wouldn't consider myself an alcoholic.

we disagree then

I am the child of an alcoholic (deceased now)

I have stress coming at me from every angle.

work
an aging mother
a nut job ex who won't stop stalking and harrassing me. I am not in the UK where civil law about this are much better. The only legal ave8open for me is an injunction which I can't afford.

OP - these are not a reason to drink. Fact.

Helpful.

If you’re alcohol dependent you are not advised to just stop. This depends on how much your drinking.

Have you tried cutting down? Stick to one or two nights a week where you “allow” yourself a drink, but drink less?

Find a nice non alcoholic drink to help you unwind, do you have any hobbies or something else you can do in an evening? The gym? Baking?

If you feel like your drinking is becoming a real issue and having an impact on your health please speak to your GP x

So if you are really “not an alcoholic”, then you will have absolutely no issue whatsoever with not having a drink tonight

Alcohol will impair your ability to deal with stress. You are drinking daily and it’s having a negative effect on your health. You know you should stop yet you haven’t. I would say you are an alcoholic. Even if you don’t want to use that label you need to stop. Trying stopping for 30 days and if you can’t you will need to seek help from the AA or other organisation.

Fucking hell. Some great support on here - give yourself a pat on the back, you sanctimonious witches.

OP, you're not alone. Please get yourself a copy of 'Alcohol Explained' by William Porter. I've read a lot of 'Quit Lit' and this really resonated.

You can turn this around xx

OP, you are not an alcoholic, but sound like a 'grey area drinker' - google it and you'll find loads of support. Well done for being honest!
I've found Janey Lee Grace's podcast an incredible inspiration on sober living.

Dangerous post

Gosh, why are people so harsh and unhelpful?

Well done in recognising the issue, OP. I would suggest trying the Drinkaware app- sometimes tracking how much you drink can bring home how many units that is and it's enough to make someone cut down.

Try and find other outlets for the pressure you are under now. I would suggest yoga and meditation, if that's something that appeals to you.

Find something interesting to drink which is not alcohol in the evening and replace it all except say two or three evenings a week.

I’m beginning to hate Mumsnet..

Yes, lots of support out there…Change Grow Live (S2S) not sure if they’re local to you…but there are others…you can talk to your GP too 😁

I am a sanctimonious witch, yes. I’ve lost a young DH and a parent to alcoholism. Sudden stopping is not a problem unless you are already a long way down the alcoholic road. Too many drinkers use this as an excuse not to stop. If OP is only drinking in the evenings then it won’t harm her at all to stop. If however she’s topping up all the time and never has a zero blood alcohol level then yes, I’d agree she’d need to do a controlled detox.

Alcoholics always find excuses to drink. It’s raining, it’s sunny, I’ve got unpaid bills, I’ve paid my bills. Blah blah.

I’ll be as sanctimonious as I damn well like because if people don’t get a hold of their alcohol intake, it’ll get a hold of them.

Bring on the criticisms, I don’t give a fuck.

By the way, the flares I had this year in my belly were not related to alcohol because I wasn't drinking much back then. It was one or two drinks once or twice a week or within a fortnight.

The flares were from something else not from drinking.

OP is not your parent or DH. It might be therapeutic for you to shout at them, but it's not going to help the OP.

Try reading The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray and This Naked Mind.

Yep, I can recommend these as well. It's a shift in mindset that you need to train your brain in, and there's some fantastic resources out there x

@CrispsnDips I agree - i barely post on here because it's so hostile. I would look elsewhere for support though, OP, there is so much out there. Recognising the problem is always the first step, which you have done.

Also, you might find the One for the Road podcast helpful.

@DitzyTitzy that's just low.

I’m sure if you wanted to cut down you would. Maybe it’s gone past that point. If you’re having cravings and thinking of alcohol throughout the day, it’s probably time to seek some support.
Well done for saying that you feel you have a problem.
I was brought up with an alcoholic parent. They were at times functioning but mostly not. They could not see they had a problem until years into their addiction and things had become a living hell really for all of us at home. They did eventually get help.
I hope you are able to find other ways to cope with your stresses. You may not be an alcoholic but your relationship with alcohol has become problematic. It’s best to deal with it now.

'Alcoholic' is an unhelpful term, a catch-all shorthand.

But it does look as if you have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol now because you are using it as a coping mechanism to handle the daily stress of your life. It's an easy thing to fall into because alcohol is easy to access, but as you are starting to see it doesn't fix the problems and may cause other ones.

Well done on having this realisation - now you need to address the problems. You will need to find alternative 'treats' to self soothe yourself on the bad days - a favourite meal, a non alcoholic but nevertheless treat type drink (I like ginger cordial with tonic and ice in a festive glass), a favourite television programme to watch, music, meditation. There are a lot of different options, you will need to try and see what works for you.

It may also be useful to see if you can get some counselling through work to help you cope. Having a seriously unwell parent is immensely stressful (been there). Meanwhile take it one day at a time.

You've had a lot of unkind judgement on this thread - I'm the widow of one alcoholic and the daughter of another, but no judgement from me. Good luck.

The best test for alcoholism is controlled drinking. Can you control what, when and why and how much you drink? Try some controlled drinking, if you can't control what you drink, when you drink, why you drink it (eg. Drinking on your feelings not because you had a plan to) and you can't control how much you drink, you probably have a problem. Then it's finding an approach to managing that problem, abstinence is usually the best approach but if you have a problem you will need support to achieve that, which could be through your local addiction services, AA, therapy, etc.
Hopefully you are in the early problem stages, where you can manage to reign if in and get control over your drinking before it controls you

Do you live alone OP?