I think I might have an issue drinking alcohol

[Fieldoftrees]

I definitely wouldn't consider myself an alcoholic. I learned from a young age, from when I was in my 20s, what my Palcohol limits were. I never saw the point in going out to pubs and clubs every weekend and getting drunk and then suffering with hangovers.

During the lockdown of 2020, especially in the winter I enjoyed home cocktails. I used to have about 2 or 3 evenings a week where I enjoyed making cocktails. I didn't stay with that habit of drinking most evenings.

All this time later. Since September, I came to enjoy some drinks in the evenings at home. I don't go to the pub. I like to have some drinks at home.

Before it was only really a drink or two maybe 1 or 2 evenings in the week. With maybe another night at the weekends too.

Now, I am having drinks nearly most evenings. If I experience a bad day in work, I go home and my answer is to have some drinks. Work can have various levels of stress and intensity and just some amount of bull shit that I would nearly consider bullying from my boss. It doesn't happen every day or every week from her but she has her moments for sure. Just moody and bossy and overly critical and just absolute horrible. Only sees whatever she wants to see. All the work that is done and even going above and beyond and she will focus in on something that is jot done.

When I have a stressful day I gain an attitude in the evenings of 'I just don't care any more' and I have more drinks.

I had a bad week a few weeks ago and basically since then I am drinking at home nearly every evening. I know my limits and its only ever really a drink or two or maybe even sometime 3. It might be wine or a baileys hot chocolate or a cider or a combination of them.

Basically I think it's happening more and more. The drinking at home. This is somewhat of a slight issue I feel because I now have and underlying condition. I am prone to getting diverticulitis. I had 3 flares already this year. Thankfully I was able to recognise signs of a flare and I never needed hospital. I am in a constant low level pain in my left side now nearly every day. I don't know if it's a flare or not. I don't think so.

Basically I don't think the drinking is helping me with inflammation and my belly pains. I think I might be able to feel better without the drinking or just less of it.

Then I am having issues with some stress where I enjoy a drink or two in the evenings. I know myself I can't continue like this. I need to reduce it down.

I have stress coming at me from every angle.

• work
• an aging mother
• a nut job ex who won't stop stalking and harrassing me. I am not in the UK where civil law about this are much better. The only legal ave8open for me is an injunction which I can't afford.

So yeah, I'm drinking most evenings but I am feeling it in my belly.

Ahhh I see the nest of vipers our out in full force with unhelpful comments- ODFOD.

It sneaks up on you OP, it’s so easy and relaxing to just have 1/2 glasses and of course you aren’t an alcoholic… BUT you could escalate your drinking and become one, or you could start having some health issues as a result of drinking. If you have an upset tum, that’s likely your body telling you to stop/cut down? Would you agree? Could you have Sunday- Thurs off? Remember alcohol is highly addictive. Don’t buy it and it’s not there for you to sip.

DH and I both love a wine, we were drinking one bottle between us, then two a few nights a week, then every evening- there wouldn’t be much left. We both felt, lethargic, piled on the pounds, looked and felt a little worse for wear come Monday. We had to cut right back, to where we felt healthier. We still both drink on weekends but nowhere near as much and not so often. DH often skips altogether- it can be done. All comes down to willpower.
Hopefully people will come on with some helpful comments.

My father is an alcoholic. I saw the devastation that it caused and I am still experiencing the effects of it to this day. I am always dead set against too much alcohol. Its horrible. This was always in the back of my mind.

So I only slipped into this current position of having a few here and there and then it increased. Its only a problem because I have a health issue and I think maybe the alcohol might be causing it, maybe. Even if its not causing it, it can't be good.

Work is definitely the biggest stressor that I have.

Well done for recognising your problem op. I was the same as you where I'm not an alcoholic as not drinking in the morning or needing a drink all the time. However I have an issue with binge drinking.

Alcohol is your coping mechanism.
But it's a faulty one.
Be aware it also causes anxiety and depression.
You need to look for another way of dealing with stress and encouraging relaxation.

I know too many who have died because of alcohol.

My problem also started with not much. But it got more frequent, and I drank more. I don't drink daily, but I binge when I do. I can't stop when I get started. I am on about 60 units a week now... the maximum for women is meant to be 14.

If you think you have a problem, then you need to address it. Some people feel unhappy drinking 3 units a week.. that is well below the drinking guidelines, but if you are not happy with that amount, then you are not happy. It can escalate so easily.

You have too much on your plate, and are using alcohol as a means of coping. You need to be aware of this and check that you are not becoming both physically and emotionally dependant upon it.

Ideally, you need to remove the stressors (work, aging parents etc) , but I know that's usually not possible. So you need to find another means of coping. Can you see a doctor, maybe get some anti-depressants which might help?

Do you have children OP?

The key is

are you hiding your drinking for those you live with?

Out of interest, did you drink last night while posting on MN? Not to have a go, just wondered.
I think you definitely have a dependency and I don't know enough to judge how severe it is. But I would be thinking something needs to change.

Agreed! You don’t hear of ‘heroinaholics’, because it’s universally agreed that heroin is a dangerously addictive substance.

The term ‘alcoholic’ feeds the myth that alcohol is a benign substance, and the fault lies with the drinker for becoming addicted. That’s what makes alcohol misuse so insidious: ‘everybody drinks it, so it must be safe’ - but it’s not.

@Fieldoftrees I was where you are now. I’d be opening a bottle of wine before I even got my coat off after work, and I realise now that I was either hungover or slightly pissed for years.

I’m two years sober now, and it’s thanks to Annie Grace. Join the 30 Day Challenge, buy This Naked Mind and join the online support group. Club Soda on Facebook is good, too.

There’s no downside to stopping drinking alcohol. And you can do it. Alcohol honestly isn’t all that. It’s just a dangerous myth we’re sold.

I don’t think the OP will be back.

I see a number of threads started by posters worried about their drinking. Then when posters say that the Op is right to be worried, the OP launches a defence as to why they don’t have a problem.

and then they disappear

I was on this thread under a different name.

how are you Op?

I knew in my mind I had to cut down. I didn't think I was drinking a lot but I still had to cut down. On the night I wrote this, I started.

Since then its been one or two drinks in a week. I miss them. I enjoyed a drink or two after work and at the end of a week before. The move does seems to be helping my tummy/gi issues.

Give it a month or two OP and you’ll miss them less! I find with drinking that the more often I drink the more it creeps up, and conversely, after a break I go off it.

Yanbu