I think I might have an issue drinking alcohol

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I definitely wouldn't consider myself an alcoholic. I learned from a young age, from when I was in my 20s, what my Palcohol limits were. I never saw the point in going out to pubs and clubs every weekend and getting drunk and then suffering with hangovers.

During the lockdown of 2020, especially in the winter I enjoyed home cocktails. I used to have about 2 or 3 evenings a week where I enjoyed making cocktails. I didn't stay with that habit of drinking most evenings.

All this time later. Since September, I came to enjoy some drinks in the evenings at home. I don't go to the pub. I like to have some drinks at home.

Before it was only really a drink or two maybe 1 or 2 evenings in the week. With maybe another night at the weekends too.

Now, I am having drinks nearly most evenings. If I experience a bad day in work, I go home and my answer is to have some drinks. Work can have various levels of stress and intensity and just some amount of bull shit that I would nearly consider bullying from my boss. It doesn't happen every day or every week from her but she has her moments for sure. Just moody and bossy and overly critical and just absolute horrible. Only sees whatever she wants to see. All the work that is done and even going above and beyond and she will focus in on something that is jot done.

When I have a stressful day I gain an attitude in the evenings of 'I just don't care any more' and I have more drinks.

I had a bad week a few weeks ago and basically since then I am drinking at home nearly every evening. I know my limits and its only ever really a drink or two or maybe even sometime 3. It might be wine or a baileys hot chocolate or a cider or a combination of them.

Basically I think it's happening more and more. The drinking at home. This is somewhat of a slight issue I feel because I now have and underlying condition. I am prone to getting diverticulitis. I had 3 flares already this year. Thankfully I was able to recognise signs of a flare and I never needed hospital. I am in a constant low level pain in my left side now nearly every day. I don't know if it's a flare or not. I don't think so.

Basically I don't think the drinking is helping me with inflammation and my belly pains. I think I might be able to feel better without the drinking or just less of it.

Then I am having issues with some stress where I enjoy a drink or two in the evenings. I know myself I can't continue like this. I need to reduce it down.

I have stress coming at me from every angle.

• work
• an aging mother
• a nut job ex who won't stop stalking and harrassing me. I am not in the UK where civil law about this are much better. The only legal ave8open for me is an injunction which I can't afford.

So yeah, I'm drinking most evenings but I am feeling it in my belly.

I'm a knitter and crocheter and I like to sit down in the evenings with my craft and a drink or two and sometimes even possibly even 3 drinks.

It used to be about 2 or 3 times in a week but its becoming more.

I feel maybe it might be contributing to some pain in my belly. I want to cut down on it so I can manage my condition as best I can but I also enjoy having a few drinks. I drink water between drinks by the way.

Hi, thanks for your post.
I am an alcoholic, thankfully in recovery for the last 8 years.
I am a member of alcoholics anonymous but of course I didn't consider myself an alcoholic when I first started to attend meetings. I went along because I wanted to stop drinking and I figured correctly that sober alcoholics could help me. No one in AA will tell you if you are or aren't an alcoholic, that decision is yours. AA has changed over the pandemic and meetings are now either face to face or online usually via zoom. I attend virtual meetings in USA, Australia & my local meeting a few miles away by zoom.
If you think you have a problem with alcohol why not try one.
www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk

Yep, OK, agreed.

How prominent is the religious aspect of AA pls? It always puts me off a bit when reading about them?

Water or not it's better to try have those zero alcohol days and work from there. Getting help and support is important. It's not an easy thing to just decide one day you are cutting down, it takes a bit of stress and that's it. Alcohol damages your stomach lining it can also cause bleeding there, that could explain the pain (could be something else though but the drinks won't help it). Its the things you can't see like liver damage that's worse. Lots of useful bits about support on here for example by @Terracottage

I don't think I do have a problem. I am not drinking every night. At first it was 1 or 2 or 3 nights in a week but it is becoming more. I know my limits. I am not drinking to get drunk. I just like having some drinks. It might be after a long and hard day or might be to accompany my knitting. And it's usually 1 or 2 or 3 drinks.

I don't think I am an alcoholic but I do think maybe it might be contributing to my sore belly.

I think I will change this with my next grocery shop. I will aim for the non alcoholic stuff for mid week and keep the alcohol for the weekend and cut down that way in the hope it helps.

Some harsh replies on here. If you feel you have to control alcohol, then alcohol is already controlling you. Noone can say if you are an alcoholic or not, nor is that label important. What is important is that you have recognized it as becoming a problem.

There is a lot of quit lit out there, books that you may find helpful to read and all have a different approach. You may not be defined as an alcoholic now, but it is a very slippery slope. The fact that you are concerned about your alcohol intake is reason enough to address the problem. Try not to use alcohol as a coping mechanism and find other healthier alternatives to deal with the stressors in your life.

Can you not have the hot chocolate without the baileys and get some alcohol free cider or some soft drinks instead? There are so many lovely soft drinks out there now.

The problem is that you are using alcohol to take the edge off your problems, work is the obvious one - could you look at changing jobs or changing roles? You also need to find healthy ways to deal with stress - in the meantime could you possibly get some therapy and perhaps speak to your doctor about anti d's?

I know my limits.

my mum said this to me, the last time I saw her. An alcoholic of 5 years

Op

do you live alone?

No I don't live alone.

Sounds like a plan. Your body needs that break from the alcohol, from a scientific point of view. I was there once and I was adamant I was ok. I wasn't though. I managed to come off and stay off but I minimised it. It was every day only a few but I was waking up so ill feeling. I then started thinking about when I was going to have my treat, my drink. God it was awful. So don't ever want to go back there. It never got out of hand I never got actually drunk but it was that having to have that small amount every night.

Stop drinking.....

Every time , or almost every time, that I would get drunk, I would wake up in bed with another Man (As in NOT my Husband). One time I missed my period for 9 weeks.

Children?

Do you conceal drinking from whomever you live with?

Unfortunately, there are alcoholics in my wider family and 2 of my friends also.

In my experience most people get to the stage where you are in that they realise their drinking patterns are very health. That opportunity to address it doesn't last very long and alcoholism escalates very quickly.

Those who address it at the first point of concern usually got a good outcome. Hose would didn't are now deal or their life is in an absolute shambles.

This is your warning point and your opportunity. It's your chance to control it before it controls you. If you ignore it now, you are already in the early stages of alcoholism.

Very unhealthy!

First of all, I don’t feel the term “an alcoholic” is helpful. It is quite a loaded/emotive term with specific connotations and lulls people into thinking that because they are not swigging meths out of a paper bag on a park bench 24 hours a day or haven’t reached a rock bottom they are fine.

more helpful I personally think just to think do you have a problem with alcohol use. Depending on whether you are drinking at dependent levels you may need medical advice on quitting. I drank on average a bottle of wine a day and quit without medical advice however.

what I do think and may be controversial to some is that once you have an alcohol problem, due to the addictive nature of alcohol, moderating is difficult if not impossible.

read some quit lit books, look at some sober spaces online, listen to podcasts, look at the alcohol support groups in here. There is also AA which is not my cup of tea but clearly it’s helped a lot of people.

I didn’t think I could cope 2 days without drink and now I am 15 months sober. Change is possible. Alcohol is not relieving your stressors, it’s making them worse, as well as your physical ailments.

good luck x

@DitzyTitzy I've been in AA 15 years and I don't believe in a traditional "God". All you need is belief in a higher power - that's personal and can mean something different to everyone. Some people use the meeting rooms as their higher power (and use GOD as an acronym for group of drunks). We say that "the only requirement for AA is a desire to stop drinking".

OP, it sounds as if you've developed a habit which you know isn't doing you any good but you're unwilling to give up. Can you think of a substitute that would destress you in the same way? There's no definition of alcoholic and it's not for anyone else to label you, either. But you are definitely doing the right thing by acknowledging what sounds more like a psychological dependency than anything else. Alcoholism is highly progressive - that's what I would be most aware of. Wishing you all the very best.

again personally I think that if you are wondering if you have a problem generally you do. People comfortable with their alcohol use I don’t imagine spend time online asking about it or googling “am I an alcoholic”

If you are feeling so stressed and unhappy that you feel the need for medication don't self medicate - speak to your GP

The fact is alcohol is just an addictive substance – it’s not about categorising people as alcoholics and non-alcoholics. It’s not – ‘either you are or you aren’t’, and if you’re not then alcohol won’t be habit-forming for you.

I think it’s indicative of the unhealthy relationship with drinking in this country that there is such an emphasis on ‘the alcoholic’ and ‘addictive personalities’ rather than on ‘the alcohol’ being an ‘addictive substance’.

Give anyone alcoholic drinks on a frequent basis and they will soon start to crave it. It’s not a sign of weakness or a reflection of your character, it’s just what happens if you drink regularly!

Have you tried to stop?
Try Dry January this year?

@FerryYaBerryLa Agree. Good post and good points made. People get fixated on the term 'alcoholic'. It is not known as alcoholism anymore, it's alcohol use disorder. They need to focus on it being an addictive substance and make it the class A drug that is it is and make it illegal.

Agree