Stupidest reasons for skiving

[PolkaDotMankini]

Today I've had to pull someone up for refusing to come to work because it's raining 🙄 It's a nice cosy office job, they live 10 minutes away and AFAIK they are not the wicked witch of the West.

The best one I've had previously is someone calling me from the motorway saying they had to turn around and go home because they'd forgotten their trousers.

Any other good ones?

As in forgotten to dress their bottom half, or forgotten trousers to change into?

I've got half way to work and realised I was wearing odd shoes. Very noticeably odd.

My key also broke inside the lock once and I was locked in my flat all day 😅

Not mine but there was a thread a while ago, don't remember what it was about but someone said they worked in an office and a woman rang in to tell her boss that she couldn't come in because she had a nippy wowoo. And so my username was born.

A colleague was once very late. Apparently it was icy, so he had to take little steps.

I once had to pick DDs up from school at lunch time due to the snow... felt a right tit saying it as the school had no snow. However we lived two miles, out of town on a steep hill and road closures were already in place so we were actually walking a mile of that in open school shoes/converse. (It hadnt been forecast!) Along the country lane.

I had one particular team member who called in sick at least once a week. Covid was great for him because every time he sniffed he would gleefully inform me that he had to isolate.

Think manual job, no option to WFH.

Anyway I was getting the ball rolling for occupational health and disciplinary procedures and one day he actually called up and said "I'm out of excuses - I'm just not coming in today". As if it was optional.

One of my favourite colleagues was a bit of a slacker and he often called in to say he'd be late because his bus didn't turn up or some similar mundane reason. One day he called to say he'd be late because the bomb squad had evacuated his street and 6am and he was still in the street in his dressing gown at 9am. Oh how we laughed, but it was actually true 😄

Got a puppy in lockdown. Can't leave it.

Someone once told me their cat had jumped at the curtain and caught its claw so they had to take it to the vet to have its claw trimmed.

We had one once who called in sick as his girlfriends cat had died and he was consoling her.

I once had to call work and say I couldn’t come in because I’d been for an eye test. The optician had squirted some sort of chemical in my eye which expanded the lens or something, I think so he could look inside? I’ve never heard of anyone else having this done? But it meant my eye couldn’t focus until the chemical wore off, so everything was blurry. The optician hadn’t given me advance notice that he was going to do this, it meant I couldn’t drive home and had to call my Dad to pick me up. And I couldn’t read or see clearly which meant I couldn’t work. My boss obviously thought I was lying because he sacked me!

People who do this are the people who don't really want the job, they just want the tax credits and all other associated benefits that come with it. Report anyone who doesn't work 16 hours a week to tax credits - they'll soon stop doing it.

A good friend of mine worked in a woke trendy tech company with a lot of recent grads. Lots of WFH before COVID but expected to come in for certain meetings. Someone in her team said they couldn’t come in as the homemade pie they were cooking wasn’t finished in the oven and it’d be ruined. Both 😂 and 😳

😂 😂 😂

New staff member phoned in to say that they weren't working that night as they needed "a really good drink to clear my head" and to inform the director that they could cover her shift 😁

Not me but my friend called in sick saying that our other friend (his flat mate at the time) had died in a motorbike accident so he grieving. Other friend is still very much alive 30yrs later and wasn't impressed but saw the funny side.
Same friend also said he'd sprained his ankle really badly when he hadn't - he had to put a stone in his shoe so that he could remember to limp when he went in the next day!
Said friend is now self employed

I had to ring once because I went outside for a cig, came back in and broke the door handle and couldn't lock it

Yes, I've had this done at the opticians a few times but always with advance warning. Did you ever go back to the optician to tell him he had lost you your job?

Staff member that had only been working 2 weeks, couldn’t come in for her shift in the bar as she was going out with friends.

When the staff member her and her friends tried to get in said bar later that night (really drunk) they were refused entry and she got her final pay packet- she kicked off big time…

my personal best was getting to the train station to go to London for the day and couldn’t get the car key out of the ignition so just ended up having to drive back home and call someone out to look at it

Colleague once couldn't get in due to snow. I pointed out to our boss we live in the same town and I'd got in on the bus (which incidentally, stopped at the end of colleagues street). They miraculously managed to drive in not long after.

Literally forgotten to put his trousers on.

Rain-averse person is a senior member of staff on £60k

I had an important deadline so went to work early. As I was unbuttoning my coat, I realised I had forgotten to put my blouse on!!!! I went all the way home (about an hour) and back again. Was obviously very late and teased mercilessly.

I was on my way to work when I looked down and realized that I still had my scratty, muddy dog walking trousers on. I didn't skive off but I was late because I turned around to change them.

One of my step daughters in her teens had a summer job in a farm shop and cafe. Early in the morning whilst seeing to her horse called Bear, she suffered an accident whereby he swung his head and knocked her in the face resulting in a nose bleed.

We didn’t think she had broken her nose but she had a trip to A&E just in case.

As we left in a hurry It was left for my daughter to phone up and say she wouldn’t be coming in to work.

Daughter related message to a young boy who also had a summer job there.

The lad for reasons unknown managed to translate that her horse, Bear had hit her in the face into telling the owner she had been attacked by a bear!

The owner came to our home later in the day rather bemused and curious as to what had happened as he was unaware of any bears on the rampage and to see if she was ok!

This was many years ago and we now have a family saying if one of us is late or hasn’t turned up that they have been attacked by a bear!