Stupidest reasons for skiving

[PolkaDotMankini]

Today I've had to pull someone up for refusing to come to work because it's raining 🙄 It's a nice cosy office job, they live 10 minutes away and AFAIK they are not the wicked witch of the West.

The best one I've had previously is someone calling me from the motorway saying they had to turn around and go home because they'd forgotten their trousers.

Any other good ones?

Not me but I worked in a college that had a very diverse mix of wealth among the students. One called in to say the electric gates on the drive had malfunctioned and they couldn’t get their car out!

I have also forgotten to put my uniform top on, but had my thermal top, fleece and jacket so no one noticed 😂.

I had a colleague that couldn't find her car key so went down to her car to see if she'd left it in there, then managed to lock herself out of the flat. When the landlord turned up 6 hours later, it turned out the flat keys, and car keys, were in her pocket...

I forgot to wear a bra once to work. And another time forgot knickers. But I still went in.
Although I was late once and my excuse was I didn't want to get up!

Can I have bereavement leave? My cousin (who I've never met) is ill. He's old and it's making me think of my father's death.
How sad, was it recently you lost your father?
Yes about nine years now.
We're you very close?
No he walked out on us when I was 26. That's why its so upsetting. He's never seen the person I've become.

The late because walking on ice makes total sense to me. You are obviously going to be more cautious walking on ice and therefore be slower.

Many many years ago when I was about 20, I called in to work 'dead grannied' and it was pointed out to me that I'd used that one before .,

Oops

I've done the wrong shoes thing, but with shoes of different height heels. They otherwise looked identical from above.

Because it was a snowy day, I'd walked in in hiking boots, so didn't realise until I got to work and went to get changed. There was no way I was trekking home again in the snow though, so I faced the dilemma of walking with an apparent limp all day, socked feet or hiking boots.

I went with the boots, which looked gorgeous with my nice tailored suit.

Snow definitely brings out the CFs though who just can't be arsed. When people realised I was travelling further but still managed to get in, it definitely reduced the CF'ery.

Her dog was having sex with another dog. When she separated them it tried to bite her, so she had to wait for it to finish and she'd be late for work.

My brother once phoned work to tell them he'd not been able to get in on time as his mum was away and his sister (me) 'Hadn't bothered to get him out of bed'. He clearly expected their sympathy for this situation which was (in his eye) completely outside his control and was bemused when they said yes, he did have to come in for the rest of the day (and really annoyed when his boss told him later he needed to make up the time).

We were both in our 20s. He lived at home and had a regular 9-5 job. I was at home for University holidays and had a summer job in a hotel bar so often got home from work in the early hours and slept in until around mid-day. Apparently mum always woke him up and made sure he actually got out of bed so he assumed I'd do the same. He has full mental capacity and owned an alarm clock.

An Ex Employee - sicknote as she was known to most, was a chronic skiver.

My favourite one was that she had overslept, not charged her phone, and the energy company had been down the road working on the box and had seen her car in the drive and knocked on the door to tell her she was late for work.

She rolled in 3 hours late - lived 2 miles from work.

Ironically, I live just a few streets away.

She was late twice a week due to traffic, that I never saw

Then there was the time she had a checkup at the dentist at 10am. Said she didn't know how she would be feeling so didn't want to come back to work. Didn't see her for another 3 days.

Went to the GP 3 miles away regularly at midday and went straight home as she didnt want to come all the way back.

Then she was shocked when we let her go before she had been here 2 years due to poor attendance!?

My exh locked me in the house - not in a sinister controlling way, he'd picked up my set of keys because he couldn't find his own, which it turned out were in a pocket of a coat he'd carried out with him anyway. They also had my car keys attached.

A colleague called in sick with jet lag, we're in the uk and she'd been to Ireland for the weekend.

A few years ago I took a call from a policeman who told me that my colleague would be late for work because he was squashed under a horse that was in his car.
' squashed under a horse in his car? I don't understand?'
It turned out that my colleague had been driving to work in his car, with the car roof down and a horse had charged out in front of him, which he hit, causing the horse to go over the bonnet and land on top of him.
The horse somehow got trapped and trapped my colleague underneath it.
Fortunately neither him nor the horse were too badly hurt.

Not a stupid reason I know, more out there mind boggling. 😂

The dog sex and horse situations are just too bonkers to be made up!

I had a Christmas job in a shop. They employed a few extra people over the Christmas period. One of the others told the boss she couldn’t come to work in the run up to Christmas as she was too busy. The boss kept it together beautifully.

All of these were me, and not actually skiving but probably sounded like it:

Left the house twice without shoes on when I was pregnant and got into the car knowing something was wrong, but not what.

Got trapped in the office - you had to physically lock the door with a key from the inside, put the key away, then go out through a sort of airlock. Got into the airlock, but the digital card reader wouldn't read my card and I was completely stuck.

Drove to work, got there and discovered I'd lifted the baby changing bag not my work bag which had my uniform, staff pass and lunch. Couldn't even get in the building without help.

Not actually fit to adult.

@Schlaar dilated the pupil. It only lasts a few hours, had it done a few times.

The house one would have been great to call in with! "Yeah, you're never gonna believe this but..."!!!!!

My worst (but still at least true) was when I had been through a terrible insomnia patch and GP gave me sleeping tablets. I was so hungover, and so embarrassed. I'll never forget texting explaining the situation. Cringe!

I briefly managed a small call centre team back in the late 90s (I was only 19 myself!) Anyway one of my staff, an 18yo went home for lunch and never came back. When I phoned him worried he had been in an accident he said he couldnt come back as he was stuck at the back of the house. His Mum laid a new carpet in the lounge whilst he was eating his lunch in the kitchen and told him he wasnt allowed to walk on it. So he was trapped 🤣

I once had to ring in as I was staying at my boyfriends, 20 miles from work, and the electric gates for the car park were broke. I couldnt get out! 😄

I'd completely forgotten this one... I got a frantic call from my housemate who was trapped in the porch. The porch was approx 1mx1m. I'd left, i thought, after her and you had to use a key to lock the outer door. She had managed to pull the inner door, with a yale lock, behind her without opening the outer door first. Only then did she realise she'd left her keys on the kitchen table. I had to leave work to rescue her!

Was he called Brian Rix?

I was once late picking up DD from nursery, at lunch time... as I was trapped in a bar. As were 2 other mothers.

Leave earlier

My daughter had this a few weeks ago. Her pupils were like space hoppers for their rest of the day! I gather you were under 2yrs with the company so wasn't worth perusing?