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Original poster

How on earth can I go back to work?

57 replies

DarlingBudsofMay1 · 19/11/2022 15:11

I am a freelancer. I do a highly skilled but unfortunately low paid job in the field of linguistics (partly because I work for clients in a poor country, partly because there are many amateurs who pose as professionals and drive down rates across the industry).
I had a baby 4 months ago, and receive maternity allowance from the government until March. I would quite like to work part time once my mat pay ends, but I'm just not sure how I can possibly make this work. We depend on my husband's salary - mine is just extra to pay for things like the food shopping.

My work is very sporadic: sometimes I receive tonnes of work, other times nothing at all for weeks. This means I could book childcare and end up with no work to do to make it pay off. Let's say I arrange for a childminder 2 hours a day on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Well it could be that that week I receive projects on Thursday and Friday. And even if I do have work to do, as it's not very well paid I would be working for a pittance after childcare fees. I don't have any relatives nearby to help. I don't have any "retainer" type projects to fall back on if I don't have work. Without a baby, it was an ideal job because I just took whatever projects I wanted whenever they came up. But organising this particular job around childcare just seems impossible. She's also the type of baby who needs constant reassurance and entertaining. If I so much as turn my back to her she starts crying. So I can't simply put her in a playpen to amuse herself while I work.
I'm starting to think I should just give up on the idea and be a stay at home mum. I wouldn't mind terribly, it's just that this bit of extra money is very very useful, and I do really enjoy my job.

Please tell me if you can think of any obvious solutions that I'm not seeing.

OP posts:
Original poster
DarlingBudsofMay1 · 19/11/2022 15:24

Also I really don't want to work evenings and weekends, as I'd like to use that time to spend with my DH.

OP posts:
Honeysuckle16 · 19/11/2022 15:25

I had the same situation when my daughter was young, having to respond to work as and when I was asked. A friend was happy to take my daughter when I needed childcare and I paid her more than the going rate to compensate for the erratic nature of my diary. She was a lovely person and my daughter was very happy with her.

Maybe think about advertising on a local site to see if a suitable person would be interested. It might be attractive to a SAHM or an early retired person to have occasional care of your little one. The person would probably have to register as a childminder. See if you can find someone for whom it would be mutually beneficial.

upfucked · 19/11/2022 15:27

You could consider getting a different job.

YnysMonCrone · 19/11/2022 15:30

Op I am assuming you're an ESL teacher and I hear you. I'm in the same position. I have now got a part time regular job and try to fit in the tutoring around it, but it makes life a stressful jigsaw. And my FB is full of advertisements telling people how much you can earn teaching online with no experience 😡

MarshaBradyo · 19/11/2022 15:31

I had a fairly long period of adhoc freelance work and after four years or so I decided to be on PAYE as it’s quite stressful re childcare and I did work when dh got home. That tension re I need to work as he walked in was a bit painful after a while

I did find someone who was available on ad hoc basis but I know this is very hard

Can you do your work on an employed capacity?

Crunchymum · 19/11/2022 15:36

DarlingBudsofMay1 · 19/11/2022 15:24

Also I really don't want to work evenings and weekends, as I'd like to use that time to spend with my DH.

You don't have to work every night / all weekend but it seems prudent to find work where your DH can provide the childcare. No way will you find ad hoc childcare.

Original poster
DarlingBudsofMay1 · 19/11/2022 15:39

YnysMonCrone · 19/11/2022 15:30

Op I am assuming you're an ESL teacher and I hear you. I'm in the same position. I have now got a part time regular job and try to fit in the tutoring around it, but it makes life a stressful jigsaw. And my FB is full of advertisements telling people how much you can earn teaching online with no experience 😡

Actually I'm not a teacher, but I hear you!

OP posts:
DoodlePug · 19/11/2022 15:42

It sounds like your career choice isn't suitable for a family life which requires two earners.

It's sad if you love your job, but sounds like you need to work in a different field. It's just a fact of life, you've chosen to have children so you may have to give up something to support them.

Original poster
DarlingBudsofMay1 · 19/11/2022 15:50

I did have one idea. Maybe it's really silly.

There's a particular gym near me that has a creche. Your child needs to be a member to use it, but this entitles them to up to 4 hours of free creche hours per day. The cost of their membership, plus the gym membership, is about £100 a month (this would definitely pay off). I could just membership and work in the gym cafe while she's in creche... that way it's really flexible. I'd just book when I have projects.

OP posts:
Bagpuss2022 · 19/11/2022 15:58

DarlingBudsofMay1 · 19/11/2022 15:50

I did have one idea. Maybe it's really silly.

There's a particular gym near me that has a creche. Your child needs to be a member to use it, but this entitles them to up to 4 hours of free creche hours per day. The cost of their membership, plus the gym membership, is about £100 a month (this would definitely pay off). I could just membership and work in the gym cafe while she's in creche... that way it's really flexible. I'd just book when I have projects.

This sounds perfect could also use the swimming as free activity for DS

PottyDottyDotPot · 19/11/2022 16:05

I know you said you don’t want to work evenings but I think that would be the least stressful option to start with.
The crèche idea could work but what happens if it’s full on the day you want it. Also crèches normally only let you book for teo
hours at a time. Would you be happy leaving your baby in a crèche for any longer? Do they provide meals if needed etc?

MarshaBradyo · 19/11/2022 16:08

The crèche idea sounds amazingly cheap but does it mean you work at the gym and do they do any checks re needing to be using them to exercise at same time

Maybe not enough people have thought to use it for cheap ad hoc cc

PorridgewithQuark · 19/11/2022 16:12

DarlingBudsofMay1 · 19/11/2022 15:50

I did have one idea. Maybe it's really silly.

There's a particular gym near me that has a creche. Your child needs to be a member to use it, but this entitles them to up to 4 hours of free creche hours per day. The cost of their membership, plus the gym membership, is about £100 a month (this would definitely pay off). I could just membership and work in the gym cafe while she's in creche... that way it's really flexible. I'd just book when I have projects.

If you can really use the gym that way it sounds like the perfect solution!

Are you absolutely sure the crèche is always open at the times you'll need and doesn't fill up, meaning you'll be frequently turned away? I ask because otherwise it's amazing that you can get potentially 90 hours of childcare for £100 a month! If that's really correct its amazing more people haven't cottoned on (student parents, part time wfh and freelancers, but also even sah parents of non sleeping or high needs babies using it to snooze and catch up after broken nights, as well as actually use the gym!).

Original poster
DarlingBudsofMay1 · 19/11/2022 16:13

2 hours consecutively is actually enough for me to get quite a bit of work done. I can't imagine they'd check that I'm exercising... surely as long as they're getting my money they're happy?

OP posts:
UsingChangeofName · 19/11/2022 16:14

DarlingBudsofMay1 · 19/11/2022 15:24

Also I really don't want to work evenings and weekends, as I'd like to use that time to spend with my DH.

That's not really the way it works when you have dc though.

You either both work at the same time and pay for childcare, or you do a sort of tag team and know that in those early years you get less leisure time together - it is part and parcel of being a parent.

Your other options are lucking out and finding someone - perhaps as a pp said, a SAHP or an 'young retired' , or maybe a student who is happy to take on some ad hoc babysitting, or, a young person who might work as a sort of 'Mother's Help', looking after your baby in your home, whilst you are there on an ad hoc basis.
Of course the issue with either of those is finding that person. I bet there are lots out there who would do it, but not sure how you would find them, if you don't already know them. It wold be a question of mentioning it as an idea to everyone you know - neighbours, colleagues, family, friends, and seeing if anyone can suggest someone.

PorridgewithQuark · 19/11/2022 16:15

DarlingBudsofMay1 · 19/11/2022 16:13

2 hours consecutively is actually enough for me to get quite a bit of work done. I can't imagine they'd check that I'm exercising... surely as long as they're getting my money they're happy?

I don't think they'll check you're exercising, they're not the virtue police!

However I do think that the crèche might not always be open/ have space. Ideally you'd look into this more before committing to a contract with the gym if you're joining solely because of the crèche.

Guitarbar · 19/11/2022 16:17

I wouldn't rely on using a creche, they don't always have spaces, it is very very much just keeping an eye and not like a nursery or whatever, the gym here also checks if parents are actually using the facilities as they get so busy. I'd look for a part time stable job to be honest so you know where you stand, depends what you do though.

MarshaBradyo · 19/11/2022 16:17

DarlingBudsofMay1 · 19/11/2022 16:13

2 hours consecutively is actually enough for me to get quite a bit of work done. I can't imagine they'd check that I'm exercising... surely as long as they're getting my money they're happy?

You’re probably right. Seems pretty good as an option

PottyDottyDotPot · 19/11/2022 16:18

PorridgewithQuark When my DC were young I joined a gym that had an offer where if you bulk buy and pre pay for the crèche it worked out really cheap. I used to book it for two hours a day three days a week and it worked out at £1.13 per hour per DC. I’ve never been so fit!

Original poster
DarlingBudsofMay1 · 19/11/2022 16:20

Guitarbar · 19/11/2022 16:17

I wouldn't rely on using a creche, they don't always have spaces, it is very very much just keeping an eye and not like a nursery or whatever, the gym here also checks if parents are actually using the facilities as they get so busy. I'd look for a part time stable job to be honest so you know where you stand, depends what you do though.

Really? How do they check you're using the facilities?

OP posts:
Iwritethissittinginthekitchensink · 19/11/2022 16:21

DarlingBudsofMay1 · 19/11/2022 16:13

2 hours consecutively is actually enough for me to get quite a bit of work done. I can't imagine they'd check that I'm exercising... surely as long as they're getting my money they're happy?

If 2 hours consecutively is enough to get a chunk of work done, and if the gym thing doesn’t work out, could you book a nursery for 2-3 mornings a week?

Consider the importance of keeping your hand in, to keep your skills and network up to date for longer term career planning - presuming you don’t want to be a SAHM forever.

And also consider how quickly babies change! Your situation will look a lot different once your child starts school.

And also the old MN advice - your childcare costs are coming out of your household pot. Don’t fall into the trap as seeing it as only coming out of your earnings.

Your work is for you and your needs for feeling skilled, valued, competent etc as well as for earning money.

Original poster
DarlingBudsofMay1 · 19/11/2022 16:26

Iwritethissittinginthekitchensink · 19/11/2022 16:21

If 2 hours consecutively is enough to get a chunk of work done, and if the gym thing doesn’t work out, could you book a nursery for 2-3 mornings a week?

Consider the importance of keeping your hand in, to keep your skills and network up to date for longer term career planning - presuming you don’t want to be a SAHM forever.

And also consider how quickly babies change! Your situation will look a lot different once your child starts school.

And also the old MN advice - your childcare costs are coming out of your household pot. Don’t fall into the trap as seeing it as only coming out of your earnings.

Your work is for you and your needs for feeling skilled, valued, competent etc as well as for earning money.

Show quote history

The problem is, nurseries aren't that flexible. Sometimes I know whether or not I will have work literally on the day. I think the creche would allow you to book more last minute, whereas the nursery could be all booked but then I may not have work in the time when she's there. But people are right in saying the creche may often be full...

OP posts:
PottyDottyDotPot · 19/11/2022 16:33

Really? How do they check you're using the facilities?
Having a coffee on their cafe is using the facilities.

PottyDottyDotPot · 19/11/2022 16:34

The crèche is more likely to be full in the morning than the afternoon. I’m used to find 12-2 or 1-3 were good times to book.

teezletangler · 19/11/2022 16:37

Also I really don't want to work evenings and weekends, as I'd like to use that time to spend with my DH.

I'm afraid I also think you're being a bit unrealistic, and possibly a bit precious. It sounds like this is the perfect flexible job in terms of being able to work when are able to. Yes working evenings and weekends is not ideal (believe me, I know from personal experience), but this is just what it's like when you have a child. And you also said that you sometimes don't have any work for weeks at a time, so it sounds like you'd have plenty of evenings and weekends free anyway? Is it really worth giving up a career you enjoy just because you have to work some unsocial hours?