Children always wanting to talk! Is it just me?

[Catabogus]

There are many things I find challenging about parenting - but one of the things I really find hardest that I hadn’t expected to, is dealing with my children both wanting to talk to me at the same time. I feel like I never get a proper conversation with either of them. And perish the thought I might try to exchange more than 3 words with DH!

An example: Sitting around table at dinner time. 10yo DS is trying to tell me something long and complicated about a game at school. 4yo DD interrupts to say something about a toy. I ask DD to wait. The second DS pauses for breath, DD interjects about toy again. DS shouts that he hadn’t finished. DD is desperate to talk about her toy. DS goes back to interminable school game story. DD keeps trying “but it….look Mummy….it….”. The second DS stops again, she launches her story, which goes on and on. DH is also waiting to tell me an anecdote about his day but every time he gets as far as “You know, a funny thing happened…” either DS or DD starts talking again. I ask DS not to interrupt DH (“I thought he’d finished!”) but by this point DD is shouting (“you never listen to me!”) and I just want to run away and hide in a darkened room.

Is it just me? By the time it gets like that, I honestly don’t want to listen to any of them! I can’t remember the last time I managed a proper conversation with DH about anything even slightly grown up - at least not while DC are present, as they will want to talk instead and seem to have very little patience for being asked to wait. As soon as one finishes, the other starts. Are other people’s children like this too, or are we going really wrong somewhere?

I’ve even considered maybe I’m not neurotypical as I feel so overwhelmed and stressed with all the noise and talking - it’s as if my head is going to explode. Even worse is that DHs likes the radio on in the background! It just makes me feel assailed by all the words pouring out of everyone all at the same time. Any tips on how to handle this better?

My kids are adult and they still do it. The taking turns tactic with the occasional ‘it’s rude to interrupt’ thrown in used to work when they were little - not so much with adults 🙃

Haha, this drives me insane.

My two kids are autistic so social cues are lost on them at the best of times. I find myself shouting “TWO PEOPLE ARE TALKING TO ME AT THE SAME TIME!” on a near-daily basis.

Yes, mine used to be like that.

I've had to talk to them about the importance of editing their stories for their audience and not monologuing.

Also how my brain can only accept words at a certain pace so they have a think about what they want to say and then say it in one sentence rather than a word every 30 seconds.

DD likes to tell me about her dreams so I had to set up a new rule, 3 sentences max and they'd better be interesting.

My DSister has started using the same rule for her DH as he likes to monologue about trains so some people never grow out of it.

I'm always amazed when other people let their kids drone on at them endlessly, shut it down for everyone's sake!

Nicely and age appropriately though, mine are both at senior school now so it's taken a while to get to pleasant, interesting conversations where everyone gets a turn.

The joys of having kids, life changes and u and hubby rnt the focus.

I have a GS who keeps up a running commentary on everything - seriously, absolutely everything! It tends to wash by me in the end.

No help from me (no kids) but I did grin because a few days ago I was in a cafe and a boy came in with his dad and granddad. They were mostly chatting about the football as most guys do in that cafe. Every so often the little one would pipe up with something and his dad or more often Grandad would gently admolish him but he found it very hard waiting his turn!

This is great (and we do something similar). Obviously it depends on the child, but I don’t think they’re ever too young to learn humour to manage some situations and develop life skills like conversing and listening. We have phrases like those, or pretending to fall asleep, and everyone knows we can (and do) use them on each other but it’s never ok to use them on other friends, family or guests.

It’s so important for children to feel safe and loved while also understanding they are not the centre of the entire universe where everything revolves around them. I want them to be good company, even with their various neurodiversities…
sits alone in car outside just for some silence occasionally