Children always wanting to talk! Is it just me?

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There are many things I find challenging about parenting - but one of the things I really find hardest that I hadn’t expected to, is dealing with my children both wanting to talk to me at the same time. I feel like I never get a proper conversation with either of them. And perish the thought I might try to exchange more than 3 words with DH!

An example: Sitting around table at dinner time. 10yo DS is trying to tell me something long and complicated about a game at school. 4yo DD interrupts to say something about a toy. I ask DD to wait. The second DS pauses for breath, DD interjects about toy again. DS shouts that he hadn’t finished. DD is desperate to talk about her toy. DS goes back to interminable school game story. DD keeps trying “but it….look Mummy….it….”. The second DS stops again, she launches her story, which goes on and on. DH is also waiting to tell me an anecdote about his day but every time he gets as far as “You know, a funny thing happened…” either DS or DD starts talking again. I ask DS not to interrupt DH (“I thought he’d finished!”) but by this point DD is shouting (“you never listen to me!”) and I just want to run away and hide in a darkened room.

Is it just me? By the time it gets like that, I honestly don’t want to listen to any of them! I can’t remember the last time I managed a proper conversation with DH about anything even slightly grown up - at least not while DC are present, as they will want to talk instead and seem to have very little patience for being asked to wait. As soon as one finishes, the other starts. Are other people’s children like this too, or are we going really wrong somewhere?

I’ve even considered maybe I’m not neurotypical as I feel so overwhelmed and stressed with all the noise and talking - it’s as if my head is going to explode. Even worse is that DHs likes the radio on in the background! It just makes me feel assailed by all the words pouring out of everyone all at the same time. Any tips on how to handle this better?

Mine are the same, but there is a tipping point where the eldest (6) doesn't actually have any more to say, but he doesn't want the youngest to get his chance to speak, so he deliberately keeps dragging it out.....

It's like a test. If I tell him to sssshh to let the youngest speak, I've failed the test, and he goes in a mood and starts shouting that I love the younger one more 🙄

I can't win, and it is so draining.

Yep... they’ll be days neither of them want to talk directly to me, then they’ll both start wanting my attention at the same time, I lose track of each conversation, then they will start arguing.
I swear my daughter has excessive talking syndrome, she don’t stop talking from the moment she gets up till the moment she goes to bed. She even sometimes sleep talks 😫

Yeah kids never shut the hell up. Try and get them out to play in the garden. Who cares if it's nearly December. Fresh air is good for you

My dd are 8 and 10. The talking does not stop. They can both be talking at the same time and carrying on a conversation. I'm trying hard to instill social conventions of conversation- no interrupting, etc but not sure it's working. They have so much to say, esp at mealtimes, bedtimes and when I'm tired!

Always at bedtimes... ultimate delaying tactic 😂

Child here doesn't hear a word said when asked to do something, but as soon and me and husband talk child hears everything.

I even got a speeding ticket due to the amount of chatter coming out and lost concentration.

I read this post slightly wrong and thought you were advising OP and her husband to join THE forces to get away from the kids chatter 😂

The radio would be turned off for a start .

Yes. I hate this. The constant talking and questions, too. It's nice to have a conversation but often it seems more like a competition between them for who will speak. It is so draining. And I hate the inability to appreciate peace and quiet. I tried to watch a film with mine this evening and at no point was there a whole minute without someone talking over it, commenting on it, asking questions about it that they would find out the answer to if they just stopped talking and listened. It turned what should have been a nice relaxing time together cuddled up into a 90 minute interrogation and I find it so exhausting. I am hoping it improves with age. 😩

It's the fact I couldn't be less interested in the topic they're talking about (Minecraft or Barbie) 😩

But l want them to be able to talk to me about the other stuff when it's time (friendships, boy/girlfriends etc) so I nod and make interested noises while I'm zenning the fuck out of my brain.

Dd1 has a new bff and the bff mum is trying to strike up a friendship with me and I'm like don't call me! I've got nothing to say to you and I care even less whatever it is you want to say to me. I'm avoiding her calls and only responding to texts. Is that too rude?

I'm mid 40s and think I'm heading towards peri. Well I hope so. Otherwise I'm a bit worried I'm just a grumpy old woman now for no good reason.

Not all kids are talkative. My dgs said to me the other day, "I like it at yours Nanny, cos it's so quiet".

That radio would be going off at mealtimes, for sure!

@PinkPrettyAndPointed this is me too - at the moment they’re talking non stop at me about Minecraft, aeroplanes, Mr Beast and other things I have zero interest in, BUT occasionally they’ll introduce a gem about some interesting thing at school, or a friendship issue or “someone likes someone” and I’m all ears for that.
On one hand I really want to keep the lines of communication open for the teen years, and on the other, I have worked with those men that drone on and on and can’t or won’t read the “shut up I’m so bored” signals and I don’t want them to be like that either.
So I’ll listen for a while and then say something like “well thank you for letting me know about that” or even “you know a conversation normally involves two people”. The noise and endless chat is hard but then occasionally mine come home morose and then I’m like “oh no somethings wrong” and I want to hear their jolly chit chat again!

I'm with you 100%. Can't have a conversation without one of them wanting to join in, asking what we mean, who were talking about etc. Then at 8pm I just want to sit in a dark room & be silent.

I feel for you! Exactly the same in my house. It's exhausting!

Ditto, every bloody meal time.
DD6 has ADHD and is autistic, so has the attention span of a gnat, and inability to sit still, and the self-control of Gengis Khan.
DS10, also being assessed re ND, has an amazing ability to monologue paired with a complete inability to read a room/person.

I love them dearly but mealtimes do feel like the famous Jackie Weaver meeting

This was my approach too! Mealtimes for quiet, relaxing and just enjoying the food.

Mine are 13, 12, 12, all neuro diverse and I used to think that us all sitting around a table and enjoying a family dinner would be a lovely ritual.

In reality it is the ninth circle of hell. I have no problem with them eating separately for the most part because when they all start about sodding Apex Legends and War Thunder, the hideous detail of it, I want to run away screaming.

you are not alone.

Ok so this is mean.
But we introduced a scoring system out of 5 on how interesting their stories were when DS was about 10 and DD 8ish.
They would ramble on for hours and our response would be 'That was a 2!' Or conversely, a pithy tale with a funny ending got a rousing '5!'.

Before you all think we are awful, it was done in a jokey way and we all laughed about it. They are now 14 and 12 and can tell a cracking story😂

Unfortunately, DSS (who is a sensitive soul) is only 6 so we are still listening to his waffle. Not sure he could take the scoring system! Also his DM would be horrified

We all take turns at the table and when they were little they had to do three things from their day. DSS still does this whereas the other two go through their lessons.
We are really strict about not interrupting and previously sticking to the three things. DD would have given us 20 things!

I think most children feel that way. That the other sibling gets more of whatever they're focus is on be it time or love or attention or more chips/lollies/presents. My DC even argue about who's more Autistic. The constant noise that never let's up, talking over each other, all vying for attention and the competitiveness all make my head head hurt and exhaust me, its constant sensory overload for me. I mostly don't think I'm ND, but I can see I share some traits with my DC and I have sensory issues with noise and texture and light that can occue more commonly in Autistic people.

Enjoy it as when they get to around they just grunt 🤷‍♀️

Then they find social media and it's silence until bedtime then they need to talk about the serious stuff going on at school. Then you really need to listen.

I used to say 'that isn't interesting to Mammy' I don't think there is anything wrong with telling a ten year old that you don't want to listen to every detail of a game he's played. He needs to learn to cherry pick the interesting parts.

Does he want to listen to a monologue of what you've done?

In lockdown one of mine wanted to tell me plots of films I wasn't interested in. So I told her she had to do it in three sentences or less.

There are some brilliant suggestions on here - thank you! And mostly it just helps to hear others feel this way too.

That should say 15 🙄