Cultural & social capital..

[Snoozyschoozy]

Coming up to Christmas the difference between mc children who are provided with social & cultural capital is so obvious.. It has started already on social media & within my circle... The carol services, xmas markets, pantomimes, lunches out, come xmas & half term the ski trips or Caribbean trips will have started... I would love to be able to provide my dc with all these cultural & social advantages (they are advantages) but it's very costly.. I guess my point is that unless all children have access to all I have mentioned all UK society will remain unbalanced.. The kids getting these advantages are learning all the soft skills to fit into mc society comfortably & feel like they belong.. Christmas highlights it for me...

So you do the ones that are free - like a carol service at your local church? I agree the cost of lots of it adds up but some things you can do and I suspect few do everything.

I am mc and didn't do half that stuff. Nor did my own kids. We've all grown up into happy adults!

There is a lot of free stuff. Christmas lights switch on in town, Carol service, school fair isn't free but v cheap. My dc will never meet Santa at harrods but they can still have community involvement. What else do you think they're missing out on?

Imo it depends on the circles you move in as to whether you feel hard done by

You make your own happiness in life and being envious of others is only going to impact negatively on you and your family.

Get off social media if you cannot accept that others have access to better finances than you and give your own children the most precious gift of all, your time love and imagination go enjoy doing things that don’t necessarily cost much or anything at all.

Yes.. life is unfair

You being aware of the usefulness of this should be an advantage to your DC though, because a good chunk of it can be done for free. This is why kids from lower income middle class families have advantages over many other kids from lower income families whose parents are less aware of it.

It would be lovely if every single child could have ski trips and Caribbean holidays but the reality is they are the exception not the rule for most. Wherever you live there will be opportunities to give them meaningful, enjoyable and enriching experiences at little or no cost. I would concentrate on doing that rather than worrying about them being able to "fit into mc society" and what everyone on Insta seems to be up to.

The most important IMO. is the socialising, so if you can take them to carol services, local - cheaper - pantomimes and have friends around for Christmas crafts, that’s great. Museums and libraries often have free Christmas things going on too. I would take them to lights switch ons this weekend too.

This is only partly true, though, isn't it? If all it took was put own input to make our own happiness then things would probably be different for an awful lot of people.

I do know what you mean, OP - a lot of privilege suddenly becomes an awful lot clearer at Christmas. And whilst it's true that there will be some opportunities along these lines that don't cost anything outright, knowing about these/having the nowse (sp?) and capacity to arrange them early enough/being able to afford transport etc might be another matter entirely.

Social media is a curse and a boon for this really - I'm a lot happier since I stopped using FB, but it does mean that I don't see a lot of announcements/events/offers etc, bit I've made my peace with that because we have a few set things that we do every Christmas (lights switch-on, trip into nearest city, low-key party at local sports club, drinks at a friend's on Christmas Eve) that don't cost the earth, and we tend to stick with these. If I had to see photos from every bugger who's been to Lapland and Winter Wonderland I might feel a bit differently though.

There will always be some people more successful than others - you can't blame them for spending on their kids.

There is an advantage, yes, to children experiencing a wide range of cultural and social opportunities.

Kids who are taken to museums and galleries (plenty free) with parents who show an interest, kids whose parents find out about new local public art and discuss it rather than just sneering and writing it off. Kids who are encouraged to be interested in the social and religious festivals of those in the local community, kids who join in with community initiatives and understand the reasons…

It is broader education that makes a difference, not blingy expensive holidays.

We had so little money when our kids were growing up, but saw such a difference in attitude between parents who seemed to view any new idea or activity with reverse snobbery.

It is a vicious circle. I get that lack of confidence is a result of impoverishment. But widening our horizons doesn’t have to depend on money.

You can't equate cultural capital with ski trips and Caribbean holidays. It's much more about exploring the world around you and teaching your kids to be curious. So yes, you can do a lot locally and cheaply. We were stony broke when the DC were little, but we took them to museums and local landmarks (including when we went on UK holidays/weekends), made sure that the news and politics were discussed, read to them for as long as they wanted to be read to (DC1 was 13 when we stopped, we'd gone through all of the Discworld series by then). It isn't all about money.

The huge inequality in UK society is a problem that needs addressing, however.

We live abroad and my DC has never done a pantomime or a Caribbean holiday, we don’t do lunches out. We have Christmas markets but don’t really bother going to them as it’s all the same old. We do ski but only really because we live near the Alps.

the cultural capital my DC has comes from being well read, knowing more than one language (and therefore culture too), we had day trips hiking or visiting interesting towns not far from where we live. Museums and art galleries were done by the schools, including preschool, which at the time was normal where we live. All these are either free or accessible to low income families. A lot is simply fostering curiosity and interest in what’s going on in the world, in history and local/other culture in general (including food imo!).

I understand, Caribbean & ski hols are building social capital rather than cultural... However again it depends where you go... The Caribbean is steeped in history, the culture, the food, the people.. Cuba for instance... The ski trip could also be a wonderful exposure to languages, food, climate etc.. I went on a school ski trip to France in the 90s... Always wanted to go but my parents would never have been able to bring a family of 6.. I attempted to practice my French with gusto with my school friends & the locals, tried fondue for the first time & learned the basics of skiing.

Will they be able to do language exchanges and history trips, even ski trips, relatively cheaply, through the school? Certain events like youth conferences etc you can apply for funding from the council to attend. Sports clubs, theatre groups and choirs and so on give other opportunities for enrichment, not always at huge expense.

Community arts festivals and things like that often happen for free. There are those "open doors" events when you can visit locations for free that usually charge. Small local amateur pantos are a lot cheaper than professional ones with soap stars in them.

There are so many historical sites that can be visited for free - standing stones, churches, war monuments. You can use the library , attend free talks and author visits there, many museums and galleries are free. You can watch the news with your kids and read with them about other countries and encourage them to develop curiosity and opinions. You know all this is important so I'm sure you're already doing these things and your kids will be fine!

It really is so much more obvious at Christmas..I do enjoy my social media, it enables me to keep in contact with family & friends in Wales who I miss greatly & I love seeing how they are getting on.. I do think that social & cultural capital is more important now than it ever was esp if the U. K is heading for recession. These soft skills are nurtured through these activities & events.. We do the free stuff too..

My DC’s had most of the stuff you mentioned but went to a famous independent school with children who had everything you mentioned and more in abundance. The lesson they learnt? Having all this doesn’t make you happy or a better person. One child’s mother died from cancer at 37 when he was 11, another mum whos husband is often on the radio and are wealthy in the extreme was a victim of DV, many children we’re experiencing acrimonious divorces and this made them very unhappy I could go on. I agree it’s wonderful if your DC’s experience lots of cultural and social capital but if your providing a happy stable loving home take an interest in your children and try and provide them with as many different experiences as you can afford this is the most important things.

Plenty of opportunity to be exposed to history, cooking and languages for cheap or free. You may be jealous of others being able to afford these things, but that is just jealousy of people better off than you. You can't claim this is some sort of disadvantage of cultural or social capital for your children.

My children have been exposed to many different cultures, and cooking , and histories, through voluntary work done as a family. We have also travelled cheaply in the past using public transport and camping.

Ski trips have always belonged to some unachievable other realm, but who cares, we never have

I'm not jealous, I'm just pointing out that Christmas really highlights the differences in exposure that children get in regards to social & cultural capital. I certainly didn't say I was jealous & I don't think my children are deprived as I do my best to do what we can. I just feel with a recession potentially on the horizon that these advantages will widen the gap between the mc & non mc children. It's bad enough already @2greenroses

I know plenty of middle class families (and I suppose we fall in to that category) - we're not all swanning off to the Carribean and the Alps. All the middle class families I know are feeling the pinch and tightening their belts like everyone else (apart from the extremely wealthy). But anyway, I actually think the magic of Christmas has little to do with spending lots of money. When I think back to my childhood we were very poor but Christmas always felt so magical. The pretty tree, lights and decorations, singing Christmas carols, waking up to a stocking full of gifts. As I say, we were poor and not much money was spent but I never realised that at all! We felt so rich in love and happiness.

OP - growing up we never went to ballet, theatre, foreign holidays (this was the 60s) pantomime - you name it. What we did have was a lot of books around the house and parents who encouraged us to read, find out to satisfy our curiosity and made sure that we had good educations; and when we came to London to visit GPs we were either taken here there and everywhere or encouraged to do so when we were old enough to go out alone.

What cultural capital is there going to the Caribbean if your family then stays in an all inclusive hotel?

@SallyWD that is lovely & really is so very so true. My mc class friends who had planned to send their dc privately are now sending them to state as they are feeling the pinch but still spend alot on cultural, educational & travel. Their dc will still be able to hold their own with their privately educated peers as essentially they are getting the same experiences with the mc state children's parents subsiding themselves outside of school & weekends...

We do the markets etc but certainly not ski trips and the like.

Market is free to wander round and soak in atmosphere.

I second this. I can't afford all the opportunities for my DC, but I'm well aware of that and will do as much as I can within my budget. It's not as good, but it's something.

None of those things teach social/cultural capital bar the holidays. Most MC families do not go on long haul holidays over Christmas either. You must be mixing with very wealthy people OP.
I also think you are confusing capital with consumerism. All of those things you listed are free to participate in. I eat lunch out before Christmas, in Costa with points saved up. Not many lessons to be learned there. Are pantomimes not quite a wc thing? We always went as a child and it was fun, but certainly not educational. And we are the family that goes to Christmas markets and just look, the lesson to be learned there is that everything is horribly overpriced.

This is rich people stuff

i think we are middle class but never had that

of course we'd love to be rich but how much do ski trips matter?