Cultural & social capital..

[Snoozyschoozy]

Coming up to Christmas the difference between mc children who are provided with social & cultural capital is so obvious.. It has started already on social media & within my circle... The carol services, xmas markets, pantomimes, lunches out, come xmas & half term the ski trips or Caribbean trips will have started... I would love to be able to provide my dc with all these cultural & social advantages (they are advantages) but it's very costly.. I guess my point is that unless all children have access to all I have mentioned all UK society will remain unbalanced.. The kids getting these advantages are learning all the soft skills to fit into mc society comfortably & feel like they belong.. Christmas highlights it for me...

You sound like me, aware of tje disparages & trying to do what you can🥰

It is really unfair
i actually did a study on this as part of my MA, about how much extra curricular activities and the ability to access them affects progress and mental health outcomes as an adult
I want to do a PHD comparing types of extra curriculars and the outcomes in adulthood of participation in them. Well a bit more nuanced than than but that’s the general vibe.

however I’m of the opinion professionally and personally that it’s not how expensive something is it’s the participation and the pay off from it that matters. So for example Brownies, it’s £2 a week where I live and the leaders provide 2nd hand uniform if you say you’re struggling to get it. They will also heavily subsidise trips so your child can go camping, climbing etc . Later there are trips abroad , this can be life changing for some. Also some sports are very cheap. Football is played by working class boys for a reason. Yes boots can be expensive but if you’re good enough and work hard you can often find yourself having kit etc paid for.
some teams in poor areas won’t even ask parents for money for the kit

carol concerts - these are free, you can walk round an Xmas market and talk about all the different sights and smells and not buy anything , or just share a portion of donuts or something between you all

I think cultural capital can be gained for a very low cost. it just takes a bit more effort and a very enthusiastic parent., to get the child excited about art galleries or going to the library or whatever.

skiiing is different though. When I went to uni, bring asked ‘do you ski’ didn’t just mean can you literally ski. If it wasn’t Val d’isere (or just Val if you’re In the Know) then it didn’t matter.

@Blueeyedgirl21 my uni boyfriend brought me skiing with his family to Austria, all avid skiers. I felt totally out of my depth but was so thankful for the school ski trip, I had a few basics & could just about manage the chairlift. Even though still a beginner I had enough knowledge & a fair bit of confidence not to totally embarrass myself.
My sister is fantastic, not wealthy at all but utterly ambitious for her dc (& mine😁) she knows everything that's on for free in a 30 mile radius!

It's weird because I don't necessarily equate skiing with being a MC activity. I went to a rough secondary school and there was a skiing trip every year. My 'average' neighbours (she's a hairdresser, he works in town planning) go skiing every other year. There's a massive difference between an easyjet holiday skiing in Bulgaria and those who have a chalet in Val.
Equally horseriding for me isn't a moneyed sport. I had lessons in a very bog standard riding school and most pony owners were the children of teachers or civil servants who made a lot of sacrifices to get the pony. There was a very small subset who did hunting and had stables at their own houses, the gap between them was massive though.

Meant to add, I think a lot of it is being in the know about what activities are 'in', even if you don't do them yourself. Eg, I just learned that Val is a prestigious place, but have never heard of it. That reference by itself is a form of cultural capital. You can watch YouTube videos on etiquette to learn how to eat at a fancy dinner etc. I've found MN to be an excellent for of cultural capital!

@LisaJool I agree with this💯. Unfortunately teenage & adult life is going to be much harder for the next generation. I think if I can arm them enough social & cultural ammo while I can it will help in some way!

I agree that the OP is confusing cultural capital with consumerism.

No I'm not! I can provide my dc's with plenty of cultural capital for free.... It's the social capital (& building neyworks!) that I struggle with! Let's say for instance typical corporate "mingling" might want entail golf, tennis, skiing, polo perhaps! One would not want to turn up a complete beginner as they would look completely incompetent & more importantly feel completely out of their depth!

Church is free, Christmas markets are just tat, plenty of cheap pantomimes, most mc don't go skiing or to the Caribbean

You are confusing cultural capital with consumerism.

Oh and if you want to ski on a cheaper budget, dp as I did, go to Scotland, rented a caravan, took the public bus up the hill, wore existing clothes (fleece and waterproof jacket plus waterproof trousers) and paid for 2 days of lessons not a week

I just don't see the point of your post. Yes there are and have always been privileged families who can offer their kids amazing luxuries and choices.

But there isn't a country in the world where that's not the case.

If you'd put it the other way round, that some kids are completely excluded from having the essentials of food and heating their homes, I'd understand more.

I can't feel sorry that not everyone in the UK indulges in overconsumption like annual long haul flights. 🙄

I'm just pointing out the obvious & thinking out loud that's all... Christmas (& winter in general) activities really highlight the differences in the amount of cultural & social exposure mc & non mc kids get & it will make a difference.

I see your point OP, but again I can't see any social/cultural capital around these activities. Unless you might imagine that there are networking opportunities around the Dutch pancake kiosk? 😁
On a serious note though I started watching some documentaries on how the upper MC live, and the only thing I'm resentful about is their vast network that enables them to get a foot in the door for their dc because "daddy had a friend..." Literally every young person mentioned that that was how they got their job! In saying that though they are a very small subset of the population.

Caribbean trips and the panto aren’t “social or cultural capital”.

Well, people are right and you can go to museums and you can go to galleries and you can do all that stuff. You probably still need transport though.

It’s more obvious in other ways, I think. As things stand, round here, unless you pay for it you won’t see a dentist, won’t get decent treatment on the NHS, won’t be able to access group settings for under 3s.

People who had their children before covid always say to do some things and don’t seem to realise a lot of stuff stopped and didn’t start again.

And I agree with @anon666

@Snoozyschoozy - you need to look at the things you have and the things you can offer your DC.
Being jealous of the stuff other people can afford to do makes for miserable living!

You don't need to have expensive ski trips in the holidays in order to have a good life filled with culture.

I have a great life which is rich in art, music, literature, social and cultural experiences, but we never had a huge amount of money. We certainly wouldn't have had trips to the Caribbean at Christmas (and frankly I would have found that a very odd thing to do, as for me Christmas is about Winter and cosying up!)

Pantmomime, yes we did that some years, but that doesn't have to be expensive. There are often local productions at village halls etc., a school production or whatever. One year we went to one at the local youth club that my dad had painted the set for, it was great. You don't have to go to the all-singing all-dancing £50-a-ticket one to have a great experience.

There are lots of ways in which having a lot of money puts some children ahead of others, and yes, you are right that those with more can afford more expensive tickets and holidays.

I guess I am saying that, even if you don't have money, you can provide cultural experiences for your child which they will equally value and benefit from. You just search out what is free/ affordable for you, or you make it yourself. You can create social and cultural experiences of your own, with your friends and family.

Honestly OP, you don't need a ski trip, and your kids are no less because of it. Please don't think like this.

I think it's important not to pass this feeling onto the kids though.

You sound hyper aware of this stuff, and it bothers you. That's OK and understandable, but there's a risk your kids might pick up on your feelings here and that will have an impact.

Not going to a pantomime is unlikely to scar them for life, but picking up the message that they are somehow inferior because the family can't afford things, certainly will.

Enjoy what you have, and pass that good message onto your kids. At Christmas you need to feel love and warmth and affection from your loved ones - not a ski trip.

Agree.

Cultural and social experiences can be free. Learning a lot in your spare time, reading, visiting galleries, observing architecture, learning to mix with strangers, attending events are all things that can be done on no budget, and far more can too.

@FrancescaContini how is going to the carribbean not cultural capital? It's a different culture entirely!

how is going to the carribbean not cultural capital? It's a different culture entirely!

A lot of people who go to Caribbean unfortunately just go to AI resorts and barely leave the poolside. My SIL and family go annually and I doubt they've ever darkened the door of a local museum or historic attraction. There is no culture involved whatsoever.

Nobody should have an annual trip to the bloody Carribbean.

We are literally frying the planet to death, so forgive me for thinking there's little social or cultural capital in long haul flights to hot places to stay in all inclusive hotels with air con to keep you cool.

I agree OP. Accessing culture is one thing but there are things that come under 'a good cultural fit for this firm' or 'came across well in interview' which are based on shared experiences which many people cant afford. I was offered my first job because I had been to see Hamlet in London the day before and the interviewer was going to the same production. It was an expensive trip.

My son just did a gcse mock in english which has a question about holidays. Much of his class dont have a holiday at all. They were having to do a lot more imagining than those get a uk seaside or abroad holiday.

So much of school makes more sense for those with cultural and social capital. My infant school have started to pre-teach vocabulary about a topic to the more deprived children. They sit in with the EAL children. They literally dont have the language to access a lesson about castles for instance. Wheras some children visit castles, have toy castles so their start point is so different.