Worst of all nursery options

[SleepingStandingUp]

DTwins start nursery Jan when they're 3. They get standard 15 hours.

They didn't qualify for 2's as we earn over the threshold. Fair enough.

Everyone gets 15 hours at 3.

We qualify for the 30 hours BUT because they'd need to stay till end of day so over the 6 hours, it's £15a week EACH. Plus packed lunch or £22 for lunches. So £50 basically. For a week of "free nursery". Which I can't justify financially. I'm a carer so not in paid work.

If we didn't qualify then I'd have no option to send them but I do and can't make it work which is worse because it feels like I'm failing them.

13/30 kids will have accessed early years from 2. 13/30 will access 30 hours so have additional learning in the afternoons. It's possible 2/39 will have been to private nursery part time and have transitioned over to school.

2/30 have had no early years education and will only be getting 15 hours. Mine.

I feel like they're getting the worst of both options and I'm failing them in their education before they even start.

Plus they're twins and typically their speech is behind, I get no 121 time with them, their attention and ability to focus is crappy, they can't write their name, they can count to 5 but don't know their letters. All stuff those coking up from nursery will know.

Fuxk.

I'm gonna come back and tel lyou how many times it rains on me at pick up this week coming 😂

Don’t worry about the hours from an academic point of view. My eldest was only in nursery 9 hours per week from age 3. Nothing before that, partly because of COVID. He’s had a slightly steeper learning curve socially at school (but he’s also a late summer born, so hard to know how much of that’s just his age) but academically he’s ahead of most kids in most skills (fast developer in those areas, nothing to do with anything I’ve done or nursery). They’re all at such different stages at the start of reception that the year is mostly about settling into the school routine and making sure all children have the basics.
the half hour: look, it can be annoying. I had to nursery do pick ups by bus and usually had 1hr 15 to kill with a baby. Nothing in the village at all. Sometimes it rained so I whacked out an umbrella and went for a walk. It wasn’t the end of the world. Some days it will be a royal PITA, most days it’ll be just fine. Take snacks, a thermos of warm milk on chilly days, buggy and a phone for something to watch under the rain cover if it’s really coming down (with an umbrella for you), and it’ll be ok.

But I haven't chosen to send my kids to forest school nor to work in one so yeah, nope. I'm not going to embrace being wet and cold

if they are not safe to be out of their pushchair apart from in an enclosed area then I think that is far more of a priority to deal with they'll be barely 3. In an open space they're inclined to wander. Not always in the same direction. Besides a car park that opens up into a street isn't really a sensible place to practice recall and obedience 🙄

@Sep200024 you're not wrong, I hate driving so really need to be in a good place mentally to do it. Like have my kids in school. It is a priority but I couldn't afford a car atm either

@winteriscoming2022 no goes to mainstream school a mile away, he has a 121 but is perfectly able to walk to school

@gogohmm we won't have access to the playground, it would be easier if we did. It's gated off. If you do early pick up you walk to office reception so you have the car park, the path and a bit of grass besides yr6.

Nursery hours are 8.30-2.45
School hours are 8.30-3pm
Nursery hours are 8.40-2.40
School hours are 8.40-3.25.

So the difference is the 30 minutes longer we have to wait and the double the number of small people waiting around. No idea what your walk home is like but ours is 20-30 minutes. We're home for just before 4 having left at just after 8.

Thanks @RoseAndGeranium , I do accept from this post that I'm being awkward not wanting to hang around in the rain, and it's Mom guilt over the 15/30 hours plus hang up from DS also being (significantly) behind at this age too. It starts to feel like the Mom must be to blame.

I also think that by thinking of it as an annual cost im making it feel less affordable

I think your Mom guilt, and your strong instinct to give your little ones the best start in life is going to be what motivates you to push on with the driving, and maybe prioritise some of the cost over other things, if possible.

Otherwise, you’ll be having to say ‘no’ to all sorts of after school and extra curricular activities in the years to come, and will inadvertently be putting the kids at a disadvantage.

I don’t blame you for not wanting to hang around for 30mins, on top of walking there and back. But it is a perfectly normal situation for anyone with 3 children of those ages.

It sounds as though you have a lot on your plate with twins and a child with a disability, OP. I think when you have so much to manage that yet another problem or obstacle can start to feel insurmountable even if actually it’s objectively not that big a deal. Sorry if you’ve answered already but is it possible to do three full days and two half for your twins? So you don’t have the half hour wait every day but they (and you) get a bit more nursery time?

Yeah I think there's some truth in that. I found the school meeting and the "oh they'll get so much from being here" quite overwhelming in terms of then thinking we'll are they ready, is it best for them, am I being selfish as I want it for study time etc. There is a lot on and as @Sep200024 says that isn't getting easier as they grow.
We currently have 45 minutes of child care twice a x week because I take eldest to two clubs and I can't drag the twins so a Nanny each night (biological not hired) helps out, otherwise its a nightmare of dragging toddlers out to meet DH at the bus stop etc. If I'm out or away, we do handover at the bus station. If I drove, there would be less of this. But I found it hard and I'm finding Uni hard and I'm finding parenting hard and my volunteer work hard and it just feels like one too many hards right now. I'm hoping once they're in full time, Uni finishes early June, they finish late July and I'll have that period when they're safe and I'm not meant to be doing something else to do it.
And yes, I know, other parents do all that AND work and I can't even do it and it work. Knowing in pathetic doesn't help.

You’re not pathetic.

Three year olds are hard and you have two of them.

i couldn’t study with ONE two year old.

Gosh, to have my son in full time with the 30 hours free, our monthly bill was still £1300!

I'm assuming longer than 8. 40-3.25 tho?

You’re not at all pathetic. Stop telling yourself that.

Can you do the shorter 15 hours through winter, and put them in the longer sessions after Easter, when the weather is better and the hanging about less awful?

Yes, but seems a bug difference for an wastes two hours a day. Highlights the major downfalls with the childcare system in the UK

You’re not at all pathetic, you are just understandably feeling overwhelmed. I’m not surprised: you have a lot on. I could not possibly study whilst in charge of two toddlers! It sounds like the nursery time will really help you.
By the way, I don’t drive either. It’s really hard and stressful and I hate it so much. And the lessons are £££££.

What? Firstly, £50 a week for both of them doesn't sound too bad. If you want one-one can you send them at different times? Loads of children don't go to nursery before school. If I wasn't working, I would not send mine- I'd rather be at home playing, baking, exploring with him!

15hr nursery is plenty in regards to socialisation and learning. All the children doing those hours have done brilliantly. The 30hr was more to help working parents. If you only do 15hrs your children will do fine and if eligible for 30hr you can increase this through the year if you choose to.

Private nurseries will probably be more flexible if you have the option.

Well £50 is great, is you have it spare or you've been paying way more.

Wouldn't want to use a private nursery simply because (the Head would never forgive me) it's more running around and I'm happy for them to settle into the school they'll be at. I know some places run nursery separately but they're part of the school here

Yes think leaving it until Easter and then have the extra hours on the run up to exams and be more disciplined about trying to work whilst their awake