Worst of all nursery options

[SleepingStandingUp]

DTwins start nursery Jan when they're 3. They get standard 15 hours.

They didn't qualify for 2's as we earn over the threshold. Fair enough.

Everyone gets 15 hours at 3.

We qualify for the 30 hours BUT because they'd need to stay till end of day so over the 6 hours, it's £15a week EACH. Plus packed lunch or £22 for lunches. So £50 basically. For a week of "free nursery". Which I can't justify financially. I'm a carer so not in paid work.

If we didn't qualify then I'd have no option to send them but I do and can't make it work which is worse because it feels like I'm failing them.

13/30 kids will have accessed early years from 2. 13/30 will access 30 hours so have additional learning in the afternoons. It's possible 2/39 will have been to private nursery part time and have transitioned over to school.

2/30 have had no early years education and will only be getting 15 hours. Mine.

I feel like they're getting the worst of both options and I'm failing them in their education before they even start.

Plus they're twins and typically their speech is behind, I get no 121 time with them, their attention and ability to focus is crappy, they can't write their name, they can count to 5 but don't know their letters. All stuff those coking up from nursery will know.

Fuxk.

Why is there such a big gap between the primary school finishing and the school nursery? That seems mad.

The best part of my DC2 doing 30 hours at school nursery was that they got picked up and dropped off at the same place at (roughly) the same time.

I assume you’ve looked into whether the nursery would allow you to use the 30 hours over 4 days only and it would cover that extra time in the afternoon? I know a school nursery near us is flexible like that

It surely doesn't rain every day at 2:30-3pm!

The OP wants the free hours and is worried about affording the extra £50 a week for additional hours and hot dinners, where's she going to find £300+ a week for a nanny?

OP @SleepingStandingUp my friend has a child with oxygen and she uses a ‘Radio Flyer’ wagon cart thing, it’s fab.

I don't think it rains/snows/ices over as much as you think it does

My DS was 3 in Feb. We chose to start him in Sept at 3.5 and only send him for 15 hours even though we are entitled to 30 hours. We felt it was in his best interests to have time to play and time at home. Could you send yours for mornings now and consider 30 hours in Sept?

We still have to hang around though, as there are 20 mins between drop off times. Not as bad as next year when 1 will be at the juniors, so it is 10 mins in the morning and 30 mins at pick up!

Make sure they are dressed appropriately and play. Often there are other nursery children around to play with.

It’s hardly going to be raining every day. Some days, yes. In which case collect them earlier (though then doing more walking in aforementioned rain) or just deal with it. It’s hardly a massive deal is it?

Your other option is to use alternative care I'm an outstanding childminder providing exactly the same learning opportunities as a school nursery the children typically start reception knowing more than those from nursery. They are confident and used to being and taking part in large groups, can self dress and care, turn take, share, recognise and write their names, count and recognise numbers etc...things not required until the end of reception many have started to read.

So in your very dramatic terms, you have to decide which is more important to you…their attainment/development or potentially having to wait half an hour.

BTW I don’t think they would be disadvantaged by not doing 30 hours, but you do so 🤷🏼‍♀️

You're not failing them, they will be fine. I was a sahm and my two only had the free 15 hours. In fact my ds didn't have much at all as his nursery closed during covid. They are both doing well at school. I think nursery is beneficial after 3 to prepare them for the expectations of school but before that it's mainly for childcare. They don't need to be able to write their names yet.

If you don’t want to entertain them during the 45 minute gap, then keep them at home and don’t use your free hours.
You can arrange play dates so they are socialised and they can still go to toddler groups. That is the main benefit of pre school.
Pre school isn’t about teaching them to read and write - that is done in Reception. Read to them yourself. Teach them to take turns, go to the toilet and dress themselves independently and you will be on a level playing field.
I had twins, then 3 under 18 months, then 4 under 4. Believe me OP you just have to suck up awkward timings for activities or they will never do anything. Learn to adapt and fill time gaps - it will only get worse as they start to do more. It helps children become adaptable/flexible and they learn to be independent and occupy themselves. Worst comes to the worst just push them round in the pushchair for 45 minutes. They can nap, you can exercise. Dress for the weather. You seem to imply it will rain and snow every day but it really won’t. Plenty of people don’t have cars and go out in all weathers to get to work.
Another option is get a job in the pre school or school (or a close by one then move your children to be with you) There is a big shortage of LSAs and child care workers.

I’m sorry you’re sounding a bit bonkers to me as a fellow 3yr olds parent with an older child already at primary school too!
Firstly unless you BOTH work and earn at least £152 per week each or the equivalent, but neither parent earns over £100k individually then you don’t qualify for 30 hours anyway (I literally just reconfirmed our eligibility today so rules very fresh in my mind)
Secondly why can’t they go for 3 or 4 full school days of 9am to 3:30pm? Yes you’d have to pay lunches or for school meals but you’d have to feed them at home anyway? Sorry but it was your choice to have children so yes you are responsible for feeding them.
Thirdly I don’t consider my boys to be less fortunate or behind their peers whatsoever, on the contrary, i consider them super fortunate that we could afford for them to not need to go into childcare until age3 when they get their free hours. The babies and toddlers at nursery from 7:30am to 6pm certainly didn't look or sound better off than my children being at home with their parent. I feel sorry for toddlers being in nursery long days and know of many parents who wish they didn’t have to send them to go to work and feel very guilty for having to do so.
Lastly your expectations are wildly inaccurate! It would be extremely unusual for a 3 year old to be able to write their own name 😂 trust me the others are not starting pre school already knowing how to write their own name 😂 they learn that in reception not nursery same as reading that doesn’t start until actual school too.

What kind of nursery is it ? I’m confused by the hours, the nursery (not school nursery) I use is in the school parking ground and the times are 9-6 . Morning sessions are 9-12 and afternoons are 1-6 can also do wraparound 8-9 and 12-1 or full days of 9-6. I have my youngest in full days but when I had my daughter we qualified for the 30 hours at 3 year old so only had to pay for term times, you get the 30 hours unless one of you makes over £100,000. Not sure if that’s changed but this was only a few years ago. Could you not just put them in 2 full days and pay the bit extra for the extra hours ? I’ve never known a nursery to finish at 2.40? You can also use any nursery you like if their hours don’t suit. Is it the actual school nursery ? Or a private one ?

There's unlikely to be ice on an afternoon. If there's snow forecast or heavy rain then pick them up at lunchtime.
Is there an option to do say 2 half days and 3 full days? Then the 3 half days either pay for the extended hours or spend the 30 mins in the playground.
It is a non issue, do you suffer with anxiety though and it is what is causing you to overthink?
It won't rain every day at pick up. It's not raining where I am at this time and i would just be leaving the house to pick DD up if I wasn't working.
My DD started attending school nursery from 3 doing the 30 hours and there was only a handful that stayed after lunch for the first couple of terms. It's mostly play based so even if they go just on the morning it will do wonders for them.

@Caterina99
They have a 3 HR session for 3 yo then a break for staff then a 3 he session for 2 yo. If you use the 30 hours you're in with the 2 yo so it's either just 6 hours (so Inc staff lunch time so 8.40-2.40), or ends when the 2 yo do (they do 12.25-3.25)

No option to mix it up, that my was first qn. Too mic had in for just 13 kids in a pilot scheme.

@user1471427958 no but we can def go weeks when it does in winter in central England

@Katapolts @collywobble yes a Nanny is def not an option. I was already out of work as a carer when I had them

@Blueeyedgirl21 thanks, I'll look

OP I've just seen you've mentioned their speech is behind, have you asked for a referral to SALT?

Put them in a private nursery where food is provided? That might sort your timing issues as well.
Or just put them in for mornings instead?
Ask them about the second child discount? (Our nursery gave us a 15% discount for twin 2)
Get your HV or GP to assess them for speech and get you on the SALT list if appropriate. But it might not be. Mine were assessed and had speech therapy until junior school.

The main thing you need to hear is that You are the best person in your childrens lives. Time with you is not wasted. You are giving them a secure base from which to go out into the world. Time at nursery is valuable, but time with you is better. They won't be behind because of it.

I think you're getting massively worked up over nothing. Many kids don't even do 15 hours. They're home with a parent or grandparent or they might go to a playgroup for socialisation at most. That's fine. They won't be behind. Mine went to nursery FT and they definitely didn't know any letters or really how to write their name (at least in any legible way) before starting school. And anyway, you can teach all that at home yourself if you want, but it's really not important at all.

It's £30 extra per week. You'll have to feed them lunch anyway, so don't factor in packed lunches as it won't be an added expense. But there are plenty of nurseries that allow you to choose your hours, so just choose a different one or do less hours rather than the full 30.

Fwiw, I didn't go to nursery. I was also the youngest in my year starting school. I ended up being in top sets from end of primary, was 1st in my year in secondary, and I have 3 degrees including a PhD. There's so much learning left to do after age 3. They will absolutely not be at a disadvantage for not being in nursery.

My first 2 kids did no preschool at all. One didn't even go to school until year 2, so he was what ..7 or 8?

My 3rd child started at 2 as I was working. They're all where they should be

Damn I lost my post when my phone died.

There are 13 places. So 11 other kids. Some won't have older siblings. Some parents will be grateful lto pay so little to get to past 3 pm. Some will have cars. There's is going to be few to none parents in position - can't drive and don't live 2 minutes away. So whatever the plan, it's alone.
No access to playground or any safe space where I'd trust me and two wild 3 yos (aka no where fenced in).

It might not rai never day but a shit week where it rains most days is enough for me to think I don't want to be stuck outside with two young kids, no where to pee and no shelter. Buggy, snack, phone is a solution if we're all layered up as they have a rain-cover and there's a bike shed.

No local childminders, friend and I have looked for various reasons. Wouldn't want to pull DS who's settled with a 121 and move him because I've got a job. Not to mention working 9-3 every day solves them owny problem but not the me trying to find time to study problem. Because doing it post he'd time isn't working.

@SeenYourArse you might not like it, but claiming carers qualifies us for the 30 hours.

Can you not find the £30/week then?

This isn’t true. There is a big difference between children who start school having been to nursery and those who haven’t. Early years education is important, if it wasn’t, the government wouldn’t pay for it.

I am hearing the people saying it doesn't matter if its just 15 hours, or that it might even be better and I'm taking that in board.
I'm not biting at the comments pointing out I chose to have children so it's not up to school to raise them and feed them.

It's a school nursery. They've NEVER offered 30 hours before so are being very rigid. 5 days. Finish at 2.4p or 3.25. That's it. Fair enough, they're trying to absorb this into just a usual school, not a separate nursery. It's just part of the school but now they're offering more hours. They will not flex. They don't charge per egg. They don't do sibling discounts. It's not on them to bend.

@mummyh2016 were awaiting SLT but some of it is the twin thing.

Wouldn't practically consider a private nursery just because I like them being settled here, in the school they'll be ti k11, hopefully with the same SLT they have now who is present in nursery as muc has the rest of school.

Thank you @Bikechic

I am hearing all the people telling me to chill. I am hearing it.