Worst of all nursery options

[SleepingStandingUp]

DTwins start nursery Jan when they're 3. They get standard 15 hours.

They didn't qualify for 2's as we earn over the threshold. Fair enough.

Everyone gets 15 hours at 3.

We qualify for the 30 hours BUT because they'd need to stay till end of day so over the 6 hours, it's £15a week EACH. Plus packed lunch or £22 for lunches. So £50 basically. For a week of "free nursery". Which I can't justify financially. I'm a carer so not in paid work.

If we didn't qualify then I'd have no option to send them but I do and can't make it work which is worse because it feels like I'm failing them.

13/30 kids will have accessed early years from 2. 13/30 will access 30 hours so have additional learning in the afternoons. It's possible 2/39 will have been to private nursery part time and have transitioned over to school.

2/30 have had no early years education and will only be getting 15 hours. Mine.

I feel like they're getting the worst of both options and I'm failing them in their education before they even start.

Plus they're twins and typically their speech is behind, I get no 121 time with them, their attention and ability to focus is crappy, they can't write their name, they can count to 5 but don't know their letters. All stuff those coking up from nursery will know.

Fuxk.

I think it's paying termly which is making me a bit 🤢 and then adding food on in my head. I think it's just occurring to me twins are more expensive than 1 😂

Trust me I get that. I know if we were paying for childcare this would seem like God's greatest gift.

I think it's the looking at it annually, termly and thinking where does that money come from. And also guilt that the 3o hours are also for me because I'm behind with Uni and I need the hours to study. So £50 a week for someone to take my kids so I don't have to have them and can selfishly study and have some space to breathe

You are definitely not the first parent tothink 30hrs free- brilliant then have their heart sink at the "hidden" costs.

I obviously don't know your financial situation so maybe it is just unaffordable but I do have one 3 year old and one 5 year old who has some medical issues not in the same ballpark as yours but I still find it really hard some times. I can't imagine the stress of twins and your older one's medical issues. If you can find £30 a week (and don't count lunches) to make your life easier DO IT!

Would the £30 per week (I’d just make packed lunches rather than pay for school lunches) be eligible for tax free childcare etc? That might help reduce the cost a little bit

I personally wouldn’t have them doing 15 hours if they can do 30. Especially if it’s a 30 min walk either way to get them, right in the middle of the school day and then you’re wrangling twins to get back to school for pick up. Twins plus an older child with health needs sounds intense, and you are studying so I’d feel zero guilt there.

So basically is it worth approximately £120 per month to you to not have to hang about after nursery every day? Only you know your financial situation.

You need to do your uni work, you need to breathe.

Perhaps you and your partner can look at how to afford it?

Would having the days free to study mean you could pick up one evening shift per week somewhere to help fund it?

So £50 a week for someone to take my kids so I don't have to have them and can selfishly study and have some space to breathe

Do you feel selfish sending your school age child to school? Of course not, because you recognise that he needs and deserves an education and there social and emotional benefits of school too. It’s not different for your twins. You’d be sending them to nursery so that they can receive an early years education. There’s nothing selfish about that.

Presumably you want to earn well in the future if you’re studying now, and that benefits your family too. It’s not selfish!

I think you're majorly overthinking this.

Lots of children don't do the full 30 hours.. If it's a 9-3 nursery, that's five full days which is a lot for a three-year-old, particularly if they've never been before.

We qualified for the 30 hours, but we only used 16 of them for the first few terms (2 X 8 hour days). Only went up to 22 (2 X 8 hour days and 1 X 6 hours) for the last few terms before school as DC started one day a week at the school nursery (in addition to the two days at private nursery).

And it's really not about the academics at that age...

Tbh, I actually felt guilty about upping my DC's hours to 22, rather than the other way around 🤣

Thank you. DH has said if I need it then we'll find it. I think he's hoping if the kids go to nursery now, I'll not be taking them to the shops as much 😂

Would having the days free to study mean you could pick up one evening shift per week somewhere to help fund it?
Possibly but I think DH is hoping for us to actually see each other. Plus I never see anywhere after 1 shift, it's always a few days or super flexible. He gets home at 6, I'd need to walk or bus to a job. Tues and Wed its 8 before I'm home with club. Lots of tutorials on a Sat. Maybe j just need to look at what I'll cut down when they aren't with me

Sorry but you are being an absolute princess. It's actually not even about entertaining the toddler is it, it's about the fact that YOU don't want to stand around in the rain for 30 mins. Toddlers don't give a shit about the weather.

Also I don't know you you think you'd be entitled to 30 free hours anyway. Both parents must be working in order to qualify for that.

Because I am entitled. I night be a Princess for not wanting to be out in the rain for an hour plus but I am capable of understanding eligibility criteria.

The toddlers not giving a shit about the weather is such a MN myth.

No toddler I know would be thrilled about lashing rain, icy winds and hail or thunderstorms. They might not mind a bit of drizzle, but it really isn’t fun to be sat in a pushchair in the rain.

Or to be expected to run around in it for 30 minutes then trudge home in it.

It varies is the issue I think - I have two kids, one was and is happy in all weather and does not care, one really hates being cold or wet but is 3 so doesn't understand that that happens when he jumps in a puddle.

Hurrah! That sounds like a great outcome

You must be joking. I have a 3 year old with additional needs, and even I can kill half an hour with them easily when needs be. Wise up.

It's got nothing to do with me being thick. Killing half an hour occasionally is fine. It's a different thing every day after a day of nursery with two hyper /tired kids with no car and no safe outdoor space so it has to be buggy or reins just waking round an estate in cold / wet weather followed by a 20+ minite walk home. Not impossible, few things are. But no fun for either of us day after day.

Experience to date says puddle jumping is for after the rain. They're not keen on it falling on them from above 😂☔

Why we assuming rain every day?! Why base decisions that would benefit all of you on the worst possible scenario of downpours and storms?!

If you’re not working I’d put them each in for three days a week, either mornings or full days. I’d do each twin on different days so I could have one to one time with the other and they get to play without their twin and then one day with them in together so I had a bit of time to myself.

Just do half days at the nursery.

Even dry, I've still got 30-40 minutes with no safe place for them to run around. There's no access to the playground. Land outside school is next to classroom and isn't fenced in / adjacent to the driveway. So I'm still uncertain walking them around for 30 minutes after a, day at nursery then 20-30 minutes home is doable. As mentioned upstream, if I bring the buggy then snack and telly is an option, they can chill and I can push them home

@Tumbleweed101 it's a school nursery trialling 30 hours for the first time. There's no option of mixing and matching, at least not without paying for a full week and being moaned at about attendance.