Would you work 3 long days or 4 short days?

[Peanutbuttermonster]

I work 21 hrs a week, split over 3 days, 8-4 - this seemed like the obvious thing to do. DH does nursery drop off and I do the pick ups - we have a 1 year old and a 3 year old. I have them all day on Mon and Fri.

However, I'm wondering whether to see if I can change my hours, so I'd do 4 days a week, 9-2.15. At the moment, I barely see my kids for three days a week. I have a fairly long commute on the train (1hr 15 mins door to door). Sometimes I have to leave before they've woken up, and when I pick them up at around 5.30pm, we're all exhausted and there's just about enough time for a snack before the bedtime routine begins - bath, stories etc. - then asleep between 7-7.30pm.

It just doesn't feel like enough and it feels like I'm rushing around a lot. If I changed my hours I could have breakfast and dinner with them and they'd be a bit more time for them to wind down in the evening, but of course they'd have an extra day of nursery and I'd have an extra day of work, which could be annoying to cover during the 4-5 weeks a year when my DH has to go away for work.

What would you do? Anyone been in a similar position?

Id stick to 3 days as then you are off work more than you are in. I'd much rather the full days off!

But it does sounds tricky on your days in work. its hard whatever you decide sometimes isn't it!

Also 3 days nursery is cheaper than 4, especially with 2 kids

I do 3 long days (7 til 7) as I prefer the 4 days a week off.

If you're only finished 1hr 45 earlier, but then have to contend with another 'get up' commute and drop off/pick up, adding another nursery day on is it really worth it? So you'll go from having them 2 full days a week to just the 1?. Financially what impact does the extra nursery day have including commuting costs?

If you're not seeing them in the morning anyway is it worth shifting your hours earlier? We can be in from 7, which I take full advantage of! I take it you'd be commuting 4 days if you switched? It would be a lot of time travelling for the hours you were working, and a lot more expensive.

Going to 4 days for more time with them with a 2.5 hour commute makes zero sense.

No way would I have changed to four days if I was doing three! Madness!

My view has always been quality of time over quantity of time.

How would the extra time you have on a daily basis compare to losing a day with your children?

Cost-wide I'd be adding about £12 per week in commuting costs but, bizarrely, saving money in nursery costs - basically because our nursery has set pick up / drop off times, and the funded childcare hours we get can only be used at certain times.

I still wouldn't move from 3 days to 4. I still think that is a very bad idea.

I find it a bit odd that you're all exhausted at 5.30. Surely adding an extra workday and an extra day at nursery will only make this worse?

Yes, this is also my view and something I'm pondering. I love my kids, obviously, however I do find that spending the whole day solo parenting two toddlers, currently 5.30am-6pm, sometimes (though not always) pretty relentless, and so wonder whether I might be a better parent in shorter bursts. (I fully expect to be flamed for this comment, but sod it, I'm being brutally honest and I don't think I'm alone in feeling this way)

I wouldn't do it. Especially with the commute - you'd be doing shorter days, but still doing the long commute so I really don't see the benefit.

And there are much more things you can do with a full day than with an extra afternoon.

I am self employed and land up doing 5 shorter days. I'd KILL to do 4 long ones instead.

Possibly - that's what I'm trying to work out. I feel like it's a pretty long day for them and I often have to stop them from falling asleep on the way home. Maybe being picked up at 4pm wouldn't be that much better though.

No way would I go from 3 to 4 days. I always did 5 days 9am to 4pm. I dropped my youngest from 13 months off at creche at 8.30am and collected her at 4.30pm. I hated having to do that 5 days of the week, I would have given anything to do 3 days.

I do 4 short days instead of 3. It suits me and my family. I was able to take DD to school every day and I also have access to flexitime so could take time off for assemblies etc.
Personally I prefer 4 non pressured days and time in the morning to 3 full days. I'm not so fussed about full days off.

i wouldnt do it, the extra days commute doesnt make it worth while imo

With a long commute, no, with minimal commute, yes!

You have to pay more to commute more, plus nursery costs more too.

I'm trying to do 24 over 4 days and I hate it. If I was just doing 21 I would absolutely stick with 3 days. Clearer boundaries with work. More proper time at home and with DC, fewer days getting everyone where they need to be on time, fewer hours commuting.

I quite enjoy my commute if that makes any difference... An hour of brisk walking and 1.5hrs of reading / listening to music or podcasts...

If it would save you money putting them in an extra day a week, can you not just stick to three days in work and have that extra day to get other stuff sorted while they’re in nursery?

I'm hearing that you need a break.

Is it possible to book in a session at a pre school on one of your days off so that you're not literally doing working/ parenting. You said you are enjoying the commute. Is this because it's an hour to yourself?

If you are planning on working there for years and they will agree to 4 short days I'd bite their hand off because it won't be long before your eldest is starting school

I also think if you can protect one day to be just you and the kids it's great relationship wise. I always had Fridays with my DC til school started and I think it really helped

I personally prefer more short days, than less long days. I wfh and don’t have DC so costs aren’t an issue. I just prefer it.

As things stand, you “lose” 3 days of your week. By doing shorter hours you’d get 3 full days off, but your working hours being so much shorter, would make it feel like the other 4 days are half days. Therefore it would feel like you have more time off. Or at least that’s how it works for me.

I usually work 6 days a week but rarely past 1pm. I like that. A colleague does their hours compressed in 3 days but they are very long days. I guess he prefers that. We can give our opinions but it boils down to what fits in best with your lifestyle right now.

I do short days, but I have no commute so it was an obvious choice. It’s just so much more relaxed and being at work more days means I am in touch more often and more available.