Would you work 3 long days or 4 short days?

[Peanutbuttermonster]

I work 21 hrs a week, split over 3 days, 8-4 - this seemed like the obvious thing to do. DH does nursery drop off and I do the pick ups - we have a 1 year old and a 3 year old. I have them all day on Mon and Fri.

However, I'm wondering whether to see if I can change my hours, so I'd do 4 days a week, 9-2.15. At the moment, I barely see my kids for three days a week. I have a fairly long commute on the train (1hr 15 mins door to door). Sometimes I have to leave before they've woken up, and when I pick them up at around 5.30pm, we're all exhausted and there's just about enough time for a snack before the bedtime routine begins - bath, stories etc. - then asleep between 7-7.30pm.

It just doesn't feel like enough and it feels like I'm rushing around a lot. If I changed my hours I could have breakfast and dinner with them and they'd be a bit more time for them to wind down in the evening, but of course they'd have an extra day of nursery and I'd have an extra day of work, which could be annoying to cover during the 4-5 weeks a year when my DH has to go away for work.

What would you do? Anyone been in a similar position?

I personally prefer more short days because it works better for me and I only have 10 mins travelling time, but in your shoes, with a long commute, I’d do 3 days rather than 4 but change the days.

i think you need to find something to do with your dc on your day not working, and it seems a long day for all concerned

Short days work for me
I finish at 2.30pm . It was always easier (cheaper) to find breakfast club rather than afterschool clubs

this way I’m there to fetch them from school. I prefer it

Can you swap back to three days once the kids are older. Working 3 days will be beneficial when the kids are in school for drop off / pick up / school holidays / inset days.

i think I would prefer 4 short days. The time will fly each day and you will get more quality time and time to enjoy being a grown up (ie some time to yourself) on your commute.

It’s alsoa bonus that the nursery won’t cost more for the extra day.

I am similar to you. However An sticking with 3 longer days because I love/need my extra day to catch up with life admin and business admin without children around

If you are saving on nursery fees doing 4 days and enjoy the commute (These are two things that could potentially have been negative) I think I would absolutely change to 4 days. You are making three days significantly less stressful in return for making one day more stressful. And you are creating a less rushed life with a more sustainable routine. I personally work more shorter days because I like the routine of working, but I don't have the nursery to worry about!

I'm going against the grain here but I switched from three long to four short and it's much better. I only have a five minute commute though! It's better work wise too, my boss didn't like me only being in three days as she often needed me on a day off.
I like finishing at 1.30 as I have the rest of the day to myself. I can get housework done without anyone getting in the way. I can cook decent dinners without feeling rushed (when I can be bothered!). Once a week or so I will go to lunch with a friend.
I definitely feel like I have a better work/life balance.

I’ve tried that - you will end up working a full week. That’s just how it seems to go (unless you literally click on and click off shifts).

I've done a variety, and 3 full days (22.5hrs) worked well when they were v small.
When they were pre-school I switched to 1 full & 3 short days (which worked with my childcare).
I've since done 4 shorter days.
Over the years I've varied between 20 & 25 hours.

Shorter days are much easier when they are at school, and it is nice to be around for them at the end of the school day even when they are at secondary.

I've been lucky in that my work have been flexible, I've been able to vary the hours/days worked in the holidays without permanently changing my working pattern.

Personally I'd be finding a job much much closer. A 2.5hr commute daily is what's taking the time away from you, not the actual job.

I would stick to the 3 days. It gives you and your family a nice long stretch of 4 days over the week-end to be together. I guess your children are used to the routine by now, pick-up, snacktime with you, bath-stories-bed, and I'm sure they love it! For them it wouldn't be that important to have more time with you in the evening. You can always change your working hours later when your babies are a bit older and have other needs.

My hours were exactly the same as yours when my son was in nursery and when he started school I changed them to 9-2:15 over 4 days. Best thing I did. Yes school
holiday childcare is a bit tricky because I’ve got to find it for an extra day but being there for school pick up and having more time in the afternoons/evenings have done me wonders. If your employers allow it I couldn’t recommend enough.

I did Monday, Tuesday, Thursday.

It was perfect. We were all ready for Wednesday and took it easy. Friday's are often quieter at some jobs with less meetings - mine was, so I felt I missed very little.

Sorry I’ve not read the full thread but I’ve done both, swapped from 3 full days to same hours spread over 4 when mine started school. It worked for us at the time but while they are pre school I would definitely stick to three long days. Working the same hours over four days felt like I was working a lot more, and you are unlikely to feel any less tired with the extra day working and commuting. I would definitely hang on to the two full days off for as long as you can!

I work 5 shorter days finish at 2:30.

I the only have to pay for breakfast club as opposed to after school club which is much cheaper.

But I only have to commute twice a week (25 minute drive).

Can you do a 3 month trial?

3 longer days for sure. No brainer.

I preferred more days/ shorter days. Although I did feel that people forgot my hours and treated my workload like I worked more hours than I did.

I do very similar hours to what you currently do and it works well (though my kids are school age, I remember the never getting a break feeling in the toddler years). I did consider doing 4 or 5 short days instead when they started school to be back for school pickup, but on office days I have a 1 hour commute (plus any train delays) so it wouldn't have been worth it. Some of my colleagues do similar and feel they're always rushing.

I do similar hours to you OP and changed from 3 longer to 4 shorter days. Though I do have school age DC and a hybrid working arrangement. It means I can do drop off and pick up with no need for wraparound. I prefer it. I find it much easier to stay on top my inbox and the day flies by.

If you can stick to your hours, it’s preferable (to me) but sadly my part time job has expanded to a full time plus weekends.

I found that in previous jobs, working shorter days meant that people knew when they could find me, that I could be around for meetings in most days. In one place the week I was leaving the MD asked me if I could attend a meeting on Friday. I had never worked on a Friday in that place and it was a surprise to him to learn that I worked 8-3.30 on the other 4 days.

the do take the Mickey sometimes! 😡😢

I work 4 short days, but it's a different situation because my boss would only let me reduce to 3 days (just under 22 hours) if I spread it over 4 days. She wanted me to be working on 4 days so I'm more available to clients. My son is in nursery on 3 days, as my husband also works part time. I really like working short days, as I can take my daughter to school and pick her up without needing to use breakfast or after school clubs and my son doesn't have to do long days in nursery.

I was in your position and I stuck to 3 days and then changed to 4 once they started school so I could do the school run every day.

I agree with PP’s saying stick with three long days but perhaps changing those days. With four days, you’ll be pretty much viewed as full-time ( in terms of people getting hold of you, etc.) and I don’t think those extra hours in the afternoon will be the same as a full day off.

I'm self-employed and unless I’m really busy, I try to take one full day off a week for personal appointments and chores, I’m usually v. productive on a full day off. I have teenagers though so I’m at the other end of the parenting spectrum!

All the best with whatever you decide, OP.💐

I would not give up a day off for the sake of a couple of hours per day. You still have 4 days off with the kids.

When my youngest starts school I have considered school hours over 4 days but I don't really want to give up 2 days off and then it means I have more days to cover in school holidays!

I'd stick with 3 days if I were you.

I have worked min, wed and Fri when kids were very young and that was really good for feeling like a wasn't away for too long! Again just how I still only work 2 days in a row rather than 3.