Would you work 3 long days or 4 short days?

[Peanutbuttermonster]

I work 21 hrs a week, split over 3 days, 8-4 - this seemed like the obvious thing to do. DH does nursery drop off and I do the pick ups - we have a 1 year old and a 3 year old. I have them all day on Mon and Fri.

However, I'm wondering whether to see if I can change my hours, so I'd do 4 days a week, 9-2.15. At the moment, I barely see my kids for three days a week. I have a fairly long commute on the train (1hr 15 mins door to door). Sometimes I have to leave before they've woken up, and when I pick them up at around 5.30pm, we're all exhausted and there's just about enough time for a snack before the bedtime routine begins - bath, stories etc. - then asleep between 7-7.30pm.

It just doesn't feel like enough and it feels like I'm rushing around a lot. If I changed my hours I could have breakfast and dinner with them and they'd be a bit more time for them to wind down in the evening, but of course they'd have an extra day of nursery and I'd have an extra day of work, which could be annoying to cover during the 4-5 weeks a year when my DH has to go away for work.

What would you do? Anyone been in a similar position?

3 long

4 sounds better to me

I've just started doing 24 hrs over 3 days , I wouldn't move to 4 personally but some people where I work do

I don't work 3 days in a row (work Tue Wed Fri). I find this helps, as it is only ever 2 days at once. Currently you have your 4 days at home with them at once, which probably gets a bit relentless. The commute would put me off doing more days, as it's dead time but if you enjoy it and you save money on nursery, I can see why you are tempted.

I think it depends your 4 days don't sound too bad to me so I would consider it. I do 4 short days (I have no choice) my DS is school age so if I could do 3 longer days it would be a lot easier for in the school hols and cheaper too.

However I enjoy finishing at 13.30 too! I have time to nip round the a couple of shops... I make a Starr on dinner. So it's pros and cons.

I would also think ahead to your school childcare and if that would be trickier or easier on 4 shorter days.

I think it depends a great deal on the job. I found that splitting part time hours over 4 days just meant that people treated you as a full timer lite and the days got longer and longer (although sadly not the pay).

I'm now doing the same hours over 3 days and it's much better as there are much harder boundaries around my time "off".

That's in quotes as I'm a teacher and there's always too much to do, whatever the days.

If there are funded hours you could use on the 4th day use those though.

I'd 100% stick to 3 at the moment - even without the commute, it's much better.

Potentially once the older one starts school, then you might want to revisit - but you'd probably need to start and finish earlier to be there to pick them up at the end of the school day.

This is a very good point. Possibly just changing my days would help - it would give the kids a bit of a break from nursery and me a bit of a break from them!

What's the job like? I do short days and it's beneficial in that I'm around most of the says and people don't think ah moon isn't in today and leave me out of key projects

I really like it. It's interesting and not stressful. I'm pretty new though! It's not massively time pressured, so unlikely to get stuck at work past my specified hours . However, I would like to be around more so that i could be involved in more interesting projects, plus me being away for big chunks of time can be a bit annoying sometimes when I need to assist colleagues with other pieces of work. But perhaps changing my days around would help a bit with that.

Mon, Tue, Thur works for me. Wednesday feels so productive!

I do my hours over 4-5 short days and much prefer it. It means I can be round after school, and I don't have to do a tiring long day at work. I

They are good days

OP perhaps you would be better sticking to 3 days but accessing nursery on the 4th day even if temp to give you a break? There is no point adding all that extra commute time even if you like it.

Or work different days to break up work?
I personally think tues wed thurs is the dream but that is because I work 4 days

If you were going time change your days I'd do Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. Have Mondays off otherwise you'll pay for childcare on that day when it's a bank holiday.

I do even longer hours, 5 days compressed to 4, but WFH, so typically I drop off at 8am, start 8:30 and don’t see them till about 6pm, partner picks up from nursery. Yes it’s hard and I see so little of them but I make sure I enjoy the day off. We both do 4 days (so only 3 nursery days) and prefer that as we each then get a sole day alone with the kids to have special mummy or daddy time. The “Daddy-day” is a sporty toddler class and “mummy day” I have a few classes to choose from I rotate

i would say in your position pick the most interesting 3 work days to be in (team meetings etc) and then make sure the 2 days off have the best baby and toddler classes to go to, that way you are having proper quality time with the kids but also getting the best work experience for you too. 2 full days with the kids is better than one more of the post nursery afternoons when they will be tired and grouchy - and just want tv!

this time will go so quick and they will both be in school 5 days before you know it, you’ll then possibly need to do more shorter work days, enjoy the more days off when you can.

I have the same issue the other way round and have come to the conclusion there is no "best" way. I work 5 short days 9-3 so get to do both school runs and see my DCs every night after school, take them to afterchool activities, have their friends round etc. Problem is as DH works long hours I'm responsible for house work so I feel like I never get a break. My ideal would be 4 short days but can't afford the drop in wage.

You also need to think about school holidays. Working more days a week means less time with DCs in holiday and extra childcare costs. I always feel guilty on holidays as mine are in school club in whilst their friends are off doing stuff.

I wfh and do 3 full days and 2 half days. Half days I have no set hours, just need to get 3.5hrs in. I used to do 4 full days and prefer my hours now, but would probably have stuck to less days in work if I didn't wfh.

If you find it hard going the 2 days relentless childcare, and you said it would be cheaper anyway, could you use the 4th day and pop them in childcare for even just half a day and use this time to shop/clean/do something for yourself and then be more 'present' when you get them? Have fun things planned. I'm all for doing what's right for you as well as your kids. It's bloody hard work cleaning/cooking around kids...it's like shovelling snow when it's still snowing!

In your shoes I would stick to three days. I am assuming that wfh on one day is not something the nature of your job makes possible.

3 long.
I tried 4 shorter days for a year and it didn't work that well. Having two empty days a week for the dc's when they were little was much better.

Could you not get a job closer to home?

There's no way I'd add an extra day on and another commute. Personally at 21 hours I'd do 2 x 10.5 hour days if they'd let me. Get it out the way and then 5 days to spend time on family stuff.

Sounds to me like what you really want is to work more.

You enjoybyour commute (me time) and fond our job interesting and want to be around more so you can be involving more interesting projects.

You also find a full day on your own with the children challenging

Instead of same hours over 4, days just ask if you can work another full day.

Yes, you will see even less.of.your.kods but take advantage the extra pay and feelings of self fulfilment to do more fun things with them when you are at home.

God! My typing! 😳