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Original poster

Lottery win (not a bad amount).

379 replies

winningballs · 08/11/2022 00:41

Name changed for this.

I have been thinking about asking this and I have spoken to f&f about it and the opinions vary.

Last Wednesday I got an urge to do the lottery, I haven't done it in ages because I just can't afford it, but I got a lucky dip and lucky it was, I got 5 matching balls plus the bonus. I won't say how much I won but it's a fair amount, enough for me to not worry about bills for the foreseeable and enough to give people 10k each.

Here's my question.

I have a list of whom I would share my winnings with stored on my phone, it's been on there for years and my ex is on there. We have been split for a year or so but I always said I would give him something if I won. I don't hate him and I really liked his children, so should I just transfer some into his account? This is not a plan to get him back as I am happily with someone else now and he has no problem with my list as he is well taken care of too.

Should I - or should I not bother?

OP posts:
nobird · 09/11/2022 21:45

Share your good fortune with whoever you want to, if it feels right.

Congratulations also!

threatmatrix · 09/11/2022 21:48

Put something in trust for his children. Be careful who you share with. The people I would have given to years ago mean nothing to me now.

Jewel7 · 09/11/2022 21:56

I don’t think 1 million would go that far. So maybe whittle down your list a bit. For me I have children with my ex I would give him some money as I would know my children would benefit also. Someone told me to buy a lottery ticket because something happened to me that he considered lucky today. Now I’m thinking I should have! Congratulations enjoy!

WednesdaysChild11 · 09/11/2022 22:32

Your kind isn't welcome on here OP 😂 joke. Seriously though I'm going write a list of who I would share my money with if that's what it does 🤔 I don't know anyone who has ever done this but it seemed to work well for you! In terms of your ex..who cares?! We don't know him, you are in the best position to answer that. Now get outta here and spend that dough! Congratulations 😀

Roco11 · 09/11/2022 22:55

Wow congratulations!

I think its absolutely lovely if you do give some to him, or maybe you could consider a holiday for him and children. Either way very generous of you. It must have been an amicable separation if it wasn't I wouldn't feel obliged to give him anything.

Mandyjack · 09/11/2022 22:56

Personally I wouldn't bother. You aren't together & it could open a can of worms. I wouldn't even let him know of your win.

Doorpalms · 09/11/2022 23:00

Congrats but £1m isn’t that much to go handing out willy nilly to friends and exes. And you don’t need to make any decisions know do you? And when you do why involve strangers on mumsnet?

EndlessMagpies · 09/11/2022 23:00

In answer to your original question in the OP, in your shoes I'd probably send the ex £1,000 per child and leave it at that. You said you liked his kids, so that would be a nice gesture.

Mamanyt · 09/11/2022 23:45

Do precisely as you want to do, not what you think you should do. You do not owe this to him, he is no longer tied to your life in any way, but if you actually still like this man, and want to give it to him, do so.

JimiBegbaaji · 09/11/2022 23:54

Yes. I thing tha's a wonderful gesture as a friend. And there's no reason why he should see it as anything other than that.

I'm pleased there are people that reason as you do. Congratulations!

JimiBegbaaji · 09/11/2022 23:57

Actually, to add to this, I do hope you've set some aside to invest. Not spend, spend, spend, nor give, give, give. The giving shouldn't be out of guilt either. Although I note that you've had this list of beneficiaries for a while, so this is pre-thought.

Look into Sudden wealth Syndrome. It's a real thing.

CoastalWave · 10/11/2022 00:02

Farmageddon · 09/11/2022 21:15

I love the idea of a million pounds being 'not a bad amount' - for most people that would be life changing!

Not life changing like £100 million though.

A million wouldn't even buy a nice house where I live. So it wouldn't be life changing. You'd get used to a nice new house/car very quickly.

I wouldn't have to worry about bills for quite some time though and definitely would go on a lot of holidays!

CoastalWave · 10/11/2022 00:03

Fabulous!

I would yes, the more people who could share the happiness, the better for me.

congratulations! How lovely.

pinkksugarmouse · 10/11/2022 00:15

Yes go for it. You parted on good terms so if you want to and he is comfortable with it then ignore the people saying no.
If I won several million I would offer my ex a million. I am happily remarried my now DH wouldn’t think there was anything funny going on. He is a decent bloke and until we drifted apart we had a happy marriage and he is and always has been a good Dad.
So long as he’s comfortable accepting it then yep go for it.

AliensAteMyHomework · 10/11/2022 01:11

thecatsthecats · 08/11/2022 08:32

For people saying that a million isn't enough for a luxury retirement - well, sure, you can't go live at the Ritz.

But with sensible spending and investing, it could absolutely mean a radically different life.

A modest, but nice house outright. A big pension investment. Investing in personal health (e.g. in exercise and great diet). Investing in up skilling. Future savings funds for children.

All very doable on a million. But not if you scatter it to the four winds.

Not according to my pension company, who say a £1m pot will buy an "adequate to modest" retirement, if I retire with that amount at 65. Presume the OP is younger than that.

AliensAteMyHomework · 10/11/2022 01:13

ElmoNeedsThePotty · 08/11/2022 08:49

If £1 million is a "fair amount" I'd love to know what you class as a huge amount🙄

Well to give up work, at least 5 times that.

AliensAteMyHomework · 10/11/2022 01:39

If in 30s or 40s, I mean.

AliensAteMyHomework · 10/11/2022 01:42

But as others have said investing it and continuing as normal, then using some of the proceeds of the investment (not the capital!) could lead to a much more comfortable life for her and a better life for her family in the future. I would only look at interest now and how to create a decently diverse portfolio to protect it, not view the capital as income.

On £10-15m it would be a different story.

Best of luck OP. Please do get some financial advice and take time to consider your options.

AliensAteMyHomework · 10/11/2022 01:45

Not according to my pension company, who say a £1m pot will buy an "adequate to modest" retirement, if I retire with that amount at 65. Presume the OP is younger than that.

That's at "today's rates" btw. So they are including inflation in that calculation. For a "modest" retirement in 25 years time I'll need £1m + inflation between now and then, because retirement is so long now.

Please do consider carefully OP. It's life-changing money for sure, but only if you use it wisely.

Stewball01 · 10/11/2022 06:01

Be very careful who and how you tell people. Tell as few as possible. Also it's your money. Do as you feel is right. Many congratulations.
My ex keeps buying the lottery too in hopes of a win for all of us, including the children.

Looby57 · 10/11/2022 06:17

What would your current partner think about you giving £10k to your ex?
I have a better idea! I’ve always been a good person but have always been bloke even though my husband works hard we always struggle. Send some of that 10k to me instead and keep your current partner sweet lol 😂 thanks 🙏

MibsXX · 10/11/2022 06:53

Trust your heart but use your head also... and the less people who know its a lottery win the better, safer to simply say you inherited a bit of money xx Less chance of sudden friends poppinjg up all the time begging or people turning nasty on you. I have never been that lucky, but have seen it happen to friends in the past. It wasnt very nice for them!
Congrats , I bet thats a whole lot of weight and worry removed from your shoulders, you enjoy it and the security it will bring you xx

Findmeintheshed · 10/11/2022 06:59

Having read your last update it sounds like you live very modestly and that £1 million could transform your future.
I wonder why you feel the need to tell your ex and give home a large amount of cash?
Are you hoping he will come back to you?
Do you really want a cocklodger?

tulips27 · 10/11/2022 07:14

Wait, I just saw you don't have a mortgage. Is that because you paid it off or you don't own a property? If you don't, then surely your own property has to be first on the shopping list, then properties for your children to secure their futures. We are rapidly developing into a society where those under 30 are destined to never own homes: you could help them escape that.

Once that is taken care of, I think your idea of giving to your former step-children is nice and admirable. My mother's former partner was more like a Dad to me than my own biological Dad, so I can see it from their point of view. I don't know why people here are being so caustic about those children, except that in society children of someone's partner or step-children get some of the worst treatment out of anybody.

sleephelp2022 · 10/11/2022 07:24

Congratulations OP!

I say do it. Why not you can afford to. Has he got a new partner? Maybe rather than just deposit in to his bank speak to them both and say you'd like to gift them and their family (the kids) x amount of money.

I think it's a really sweet idea, you have no idea how much 10k would mean to someone.