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Original poster

Lottery win (not a bad amount).

379 replies

winningballs · 08/11/2022 00:41

Name changed for this.

I have been thinking about asking this and I have spoken to f&f about it and the opinions vary.

Last Wednesday I got an urge to do the lottery, I haven't done it in ages because I just can't afford it, but I got a lucky dip and lucky it was, I got 5 matching balls plus the bonus. I won't say how much I won but it's a fair amount, enough for me to not worry about bills for the foreseeable and enough to give people 10k each.

Here's my question.

I have a list of whom I would share my winnings with stored on my phone, it's been on there for years and my ex is on there. We have been split for a year or so but I always said I would give him something if I won. I don't hate him and I really liked his children, so should I just transfer some into his account? This is not a plan to get him back as I am happily with someone else now and he has no problem with my list as he is well taken care of too.

Should I - or should I not bother?

OP posts:
Luxurysleuth007 · 09/11/2022 20:10

Congratulations OP! You’re literally living my dream- is it as good as I hope it will be? 😍🤑

I would say absolutely do it, £10k from a million isn’t really a lot and the good energy you’ll get in return will be worth 10 times that. If it were me I would be totally transparent and gift it to him and his partner with a proviso it’s to be used by the family as a whole.

I have a similar list too, part of the fun with the ridiculous Euro Millions rollovers when they hit £50m+ is who and how much I’d hand out. It gets me through work on Tuesdays and Fridays 🤣. I have thought extensively about this (as you can probably tell) and I would totally be like Julia Roberts in Erin Brokovich at the end when she’s handing out the cheques.

Enjoy your win but also enjoy making those on your list smile.

Benjispruce4 · 09/11/2022 20:11

A million is a lovely amount. Life changing in terms of property.

Mebfl · 09/11/2022 20:15

Congratulations! I really think this is something you need to think hard about before acting on … firstly you will need to make sure that you will not inadvertently cost an intended beneficiary , they could End up with a tax liability , or perhaps be pushed over a threshold which could result in benefits being cut off .. you can be sure that the taxman will have his eyes on whatever you do ! I also think that no matter how well intentioned, giving your ex something is likely to cause some sort of upheaval.. you know best , but I definitely think that dropping money into his account is the wrong way to do it !

BCxx · 09/11/2022 20:19

Transfer it to me instead 🤣 definitely not to him, anyone but him! Even if you are both happy, you’re not together. If you were a huge part of the children’s lives for a long time, still in regular contact and wanted to give them something further down the line then maybe consider that but I can’t imagine how my partner would react if I said I’d just sent my ex 10k 🙈

hallowedweens · 09/11/2022 20:28

hell no

värskekapsas · 09/11/2022 20:28

I think you should sit on it and do nothing for a while!

MaybeSmaller · 09/11/2022 20:28

No don't just transfer the money unless you had some sort of agreement that you were in a syndicate or something.

I would keep the money and enjoy it. I despise all of my ex's though so would be an easy decision for me TBH.

MimiSunshine · 09/11/2022 20:32

As others have said, you really really need to get advice and look at your own circumstances before you give any away to anyone.

For a comfortable pension and retirement you need far more than you may think. I’d be aiming to have £500k of it in pensions but maximising contributions and any backdated payments you can make for previous years.
id also be putting some in pensions for my children.

after that while £500k is a lovely amount of cash it’s not really enough to splash around giving multiple lots of £10k away especially to an ex.

Cassandrainthenight · 09/11/2022 20:33

@winningballs

At the risk of being sneered at on mumsnet, can I offer an esoteric/spiritual point of view? People who find any idea of karma maddening or stupid are invited from abstaining to replying to me or quoting me.

From an esoteric(what some people call woo) point of view you possibly won not just through the virtue of your own, but because of that list, maybe the time has come for someone on your list to come into money and it would change their whole life dramatically in unknown to you ways. You are a facilitator for this.

Another kind of rule of karma is that you shouldn't take decisions out of fear, but out of love. You were planning to do something out of love, but most people on this thread want you to think like them and take a decision out of fear.

That usually follows its own self-fulfilling way. You listen to the voices which shout "there isn't enough for you etc", you don't give the money as planned, then the roof on your house needs fixing, someone in your family needs extremely expensive medical treatment, etc, and you think to yourself, thank God I kept every penny for myself, otherwise I wouldn't have it now to pay for all this disasters that followed. Nobody pauses to think that maybe the disasters followed because your decisions took you on a different life path.

At the same time I understand the prudence of not telling everyone or even the people on the list that you won the money or how much.
However you could do it without giving the details (though I wouldn't lie, I just would refuse to provide the info), and there is probably an option of gifting the money anonymously somehow. Anyway, because I firmly believe there is a link between your list and your desire to share and the fact that you actually won I urge you to follow your heart ❤Congratulations!

franbrad · 09/11/2022 20:34

It's your choice. If that's what you want to do It's up to you. I think you are a really generous person so well done and I hope it brings you lots of happiness

Cassandrainthenight · 09/11/2022 20:35

*invited to abstain from replying, sorry (talking to a small child and typing at the same time)

wentworthinmate · 09/11/2022 20:37

Absolutely not op. Don’t go crazy just because you’ve got a million. Do something more important or worthy with that £10k not give to an ex.

restingbitchface30 · 09/11/2022 20:40

Erm nope!

Desmondo2021 · 09/11/2022 20:41

You don't normally do the lottery but have a list on your phone of who you would give money to if you won?

Deemarie11 · 09/11/2022 20:45

RainyDaysareCarp · 08/11/2022 07:56

enough for me to not worry about bills for the foreseeable

emmm it's quite a bit more than that wouldn't you say?

I inherited 200k, and while it may sound like a lot, it went very very quickly. On sensible things, mortgage, bills etc.

1,000,000 is 10 hundred thousand. It is a lovely amount. But you could definitely spend it all in the next ten -fifteen years.

Deemarie11 · 09/11/2022 20:46

Lovely to hear of someone winning the lottery. It's such a lovely and unlikely thing to happen. So nice.

Hagpie · 09/11/2022 20:53

I think it would be really nice. A special little honour to someone you once shared your life with you know? Would there be any way to do it anonymously though? So he didn’t know it was you?

Lily4444 · 09/11/2022 20:55

Definitely not, that would be weird - give the money to a family member or someone struggling with their rent

thequeenoftarts · 09/11/2022 21:03

Aw I am really delighted for you. Thats made me smile tonight, enjoy it all, treat yourself, and have fun with it. It's not mega money but it could change your life, mortgage free, new car, no bills and an amazing holiday. And look if you want to treat family and friends go for it. I too have a planned list of family, friends and several co workers I would treat If I won a decent amount. The excitement of it keeps me doing the lottery.

Motherofchickenslol · 09/11/2022 21:04

I think you should do whatever makes you happy.
Many Congratulations

daisychain01 · 09/11/2022 21:05

FlamingBells · 08/11/2022 08:15

@bingotime Oh yes I forgot but she can split it between a premium bonds and 3 month notice deposit account.

Show quote history

I wouldnt give up your day job @FlamingBells your financial advice is decidedly dodgy Grin

£50k is the maximum on Premium Bonds.

The OP should make sure they split their winnings across numerous financial institutions and not hold more than the maximum of £85,000 with any one bank if they want protection should the bank run into financial difficulties.

thequeenoftarts · 09/11/2022 21:06

Cassandrainthenight · 09/11/2022 20:33

@winningballs

At the risk of being sneered at on mumsnet, can I offer an esoteric/spiritual point of view? People who find any idea of karma maddening or stupid are invited from abstaining to replying to me or quoting me.

From an esoteric(what some people call woo) point of view you possibly won not just through the virtue of your own, but because of that list, maybe the time has come for someone on your list to come into money and it would change their whole life dramatically in unknown to you ways. You are a facilitator for this.

Another kind of rule of karma is that you shouldn't take decisions out of fear, but out of love. You were planning to do something out of love, but most people on this thread want you to think like them and take a decision out of fear.

That usually follows its own self-fulfilling way. You listen to the voices which shout "there isn't enough for you etc", you don't give the money as planned, then the roof on your house needs fixing, someone in your family needs extremely expensive medical treatment, etc, and you think to yourself, thank God I kept every penny for myself, otherwise I wouldn't have it now to pay for all this disasters that followed. Nobody pauses to think that maybe the disasters followed because your decisions took you on a different life path.

At the same time I understand the prudence of not telling everyone or even the people on the list that you won the money or how much.
However you could do it without giving the details (though I wouldn't lie, I just would refuse to provide the info), and there is probably an option of gifting the money anonymously somehow. Anyway, because I firmly believe there is a link between your list and your desire to share and the fact that you actually won I urge you to follow your heart ❤Congratulations!

Thats a really really interesting way of looking at things. I kinda of like it :)

Flyingskunk · 09/11/2022 21:09

If it was something you said you’d do and it makes you feel good - do it!
However do get financial advice first. I work for a firm that is on the panel of advisers for lottery winners. There are incredible planning tools these days called cash flow planners and they can work out what you need to live the life you want as long as you want.
Then you have a realistic idea of what you can do with the amount you have won and if you can really afford to give away what you think

Farmageddon · 09/11/2022 21:15

I love the idea of a million pounds being 'not a bad amount' - for most people that would be life changing!

TiaraBoo · 09/11/2022 21:16

No I wouldn’t give an ex anything. I’d just update the list on your phone!

Reason: I would tell very very few people. The last thing I’d want is people asking for handouts/treating me differently.
Even if I were to give friends/family some money, I’d probably invent another way of how I got the money.

With a million, I could give up work and have 50k a year before retirement age. So no handouts to anyone!

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