I agree, I couldn’t fathom it either when my sibling and parents did this to me. We have always talked things through, no secrets etc. but it all went very quiet then suddenly it’s all organised.
What concerns me even more is my sibling is a legal professional who didn’t suggest my parents got independent legal advice.
My sibling and I are very different and have always had a slightly difficult relationship. My sibling has always been volatile and my parents have always let them get away with behaving badly, going NC etc and make excuses for them. I’m not perfect but having witnessed or been on the end of my siblings behaviour my parents have always been clear from childhood that I have to suck it up, no apology and just get on with it.
So I was shocked when my sibling suggested buying a big house and extending it so my parents could move in. I asked my sibling several times are you sure, and they were adamant it would be fine. My parents always implied we would sit down and talk about it but we never did. One parent was terminally ill and sadly died within a few months of the move, their death was eased knowing the other parent would be living with my sibling. Once they were settled I found there was no legal agreement and was shocked. I didn’t want to upset my dying parent so left it.
I visit my Parent regularly, we stay in, we go out and we go away together. As expected my sibling has again gone NC with me this week and I strongly suspect my sibling has said I’m no longer allowed to visit “their” home. So my parent may find that I can no longer visit them in their home as they legally don’t own a brick of it.
I have just about accepted the money is gone, I suspect my parent is being subtly pressurised to change their will and remove me as one of the executors and to reduce any % left to me. I can see subtle requests for money when the opportunity arises but I keep saying how important it is my parent keeps their money in case they need it for a care home.
My real concerns are if my sibling dies, or is disabled, my parent will not get their money back to be able to buy/rent somewhere to live or pay fees. I am also concerned as my parent ages they will need more help than my sibling can/wants to give. My parent is already quite isolated, partly due to COVID, my visits are a highlight and being barred from visiting would be exceptionally cruel to my parent, but legally it’s my siblings property.
I am waiting to see how the next few weeks pan out as I’m not going to pushed out of my parents life but equally I know any suggestion of financial abuse by my sibling would be very distressing to them.