If your life's already disastrous, are you finding the current situation less alarming?

[WanderingFruitWonderer]

Hard to condense what I mean in a title.
Basically, my life hasn't at all gone to plan! Mostly due to mental health struggles, triggered by trauma. I've struggled with life since I was eleven years old. I'm also just one of life's exceptionally sensitive souls, and easily overwhelmed by everyday things that 'normal' people seem better able to cope with. I've struggled with rubbish accommodation and low income for years. I'm self-employed, and live an alternative life, as can't cope with a lot of mainstream stuff. I'm not successful in the conventional sense. But as a result of all that, I've learnt to find my joy in the simple things - a walk along the beach at sunrise, a cup of tea consumed mindfully, watching butterflies etc. Brief periods of respite (which happens now and then) from the chronic anxiety bring unfettered joy!
So weirdly, I think I'm finding the current state of things (essentially society starting to collapse) less shocking. I've essentially been in training for it for years. I've lived a microcosm of such collapse, for a long time. I say this with caution, as I have huge empathy and sympathy for those who are not coping at all with things currently. I'm very worried about people struggling to stay warm and well fed etc. The climate crisis keeps me awake at night too. But, as my life has been so disappointing and disastrous in many ways for many years, a lot of the economic and societal stuff just feels like more of the same, in terms of the effect on me personally. I never really experienced the boom. I wonder if anyone else is experiencing something similar atm?

@RudsyFarmer I'm so sorry to that you had such a hard time for so long
Yes, the worst has already happened. I wish you happiness x

@Kissingfrogs25 If you don't realise that climate change is going to have a seriously detrimental effect on the lives of everyone over the coming years (not decades, years) then you are being delusional.

I get what you mean OP. I've already experienced adversity due to things beyond my control. I've been through loss and learnt to survive. I've learnt how to be happy with less and have a way better handle on what is really important. I'm lucky to face the hardship we are all facing, knowing I will cope. I am grateful to be facing the upcoming difficulties safe in that knowledge. Learning to be grateful for everything I DO have has been one of the biggest lessons for me. I wish I could give this as a gift to others who are worried about things they might lose. Often the fear is worse than the reality.

I sound like a right hippy don't I, but I don't think it too bad an outcome if we generally become more satisfied with less. I'd like to think we may even end up with more resources for critical services, and less distraction and dependency on chasing trappings of wealth.

Well, I can live in hope! 😂

Wish I could amend that to say Learning to be grateful that I have everything I NEED has been one of my biggest lessons.

2020 was a relatively good year.

Keeping a disabled teen in whilst isolating was tricky. But the bits in between were ok in comparison to other years.

I may survive the cost of living crisis because my mum died last month and I'll get some money. Would rather have my mum though and not the money.

Great post.
I'm a bit of a hippy too!

❤

I had an arm that was broken in two places and waited 12 hours just to get an X-ray and another 3 for a plaster - that was 25 years ago! Nothing has changed. It’s just the same as it always was. You are making it sound new!!

Lockdown was a dream come true for me. I feel like I can't say that out loud in RL as it offends so many people but truly it was the best time in a long time. I was really struggling before lockdown I didn't even realise how much but when lockdown happened it was so calm and I didn't have to contact someone every hour of the day, find childcare find school stuff.

It was awful in the 80's improved a lot under the Blair/ Brown administration now back to disaster.

Yeah, I think a number of people with a history of mental health struggles, especially anxiety, secretly enjoyed lockdown, or aspects of it. As you say, we had to be a bit cautious in RL who we said it to!

I agree with you. I don't know what ''normal'' life is and things like Covid or lockdowns did not affect me at all.

I had to go through childhood abuse, bullying, chronic health issues, years of therapy to try to recover from the trauma of my childhood and teenage years, sexual assault by male ''friend'', having to be no contact with all my relatives to protect myself, moving to a country where I did not know anyone.

I am not a social person and I am happy just doing simple things and doing my artwork gives me a sense of purpose. I am used to being alone and coping with constant stress and change.

I think it must have been shocking for many people to realise how precarious life can be but for those of us who have never lived a ''mainstream'' life, it was just business as usual.

@babyyodaxmas Assuming your self imposed spartan lifestyle is also entirely self funded and you are not claiming any type of state support or using roads, public transport or the health service. If so you have nothing to fear, fill your boots.

What is your point? people are entitled to claim benefits and if they meet the criteria to receive them. You are going completely off topic.

Yes. I feel like this. And like I've been 'in training' for this my whole life, on some level knowing it was coming, even. It's a weird feeling.
I'm a hippy, alternative single parent who was raised by a single mum in poverty and in many ways am still in poverty, although things may be changing a bit on that front soon. I do think about stuff and worry - especially about famine and climate stuff, but on some level I have been through a lot and feel very grimly resilient. It's quite hard won, and I think in many ways I'd rather have had a charmed life up 'til now, even if it was all stripped away by external changes to society. At least I'd have had it. On the other hand, I know I am emotionally better equipped to deal with what's coming due to having experienced very difficult times, so maybe it sorts of equals out in the end, I don't know.

Thank you @Artygirlghost creativity keeps me going too. I agree with everything in your post.

@ZeppelinTits yes that's it. I've been in training, and not shocked by the current state of things.
I'd like to have had a different kind of life in many ways too - especially in regards to my mental health. It's taken so much from me. But, on the other hand, I'm now better able to weather this storm than some. I'm not even afraid of my own death now at all. In fact, in some ways I look forward to it. I realise that may sound totally shocking to some people, but anyone who's dealt with serious adversity will understand I think...

What is your point? people are entitled to claim benefits and if they meet the criteria to receive them. You are going completely off topic.

Then they are part of society and will be affected by changes like everyone else. Only the truly self sufficient remain unaffected.

Yes I know what you mean. When you've had to build resilience because of the utterly shit hand you've had, there's not a lot that rocks me

I don’t think people can be very surprised that they were told, for a fairly long period during the last two years, “don’t go to the Dr, don’t go to A and E” and then when you were released from that, those services would be overwhelmed. I mean, some people would have obviously got better or died but it’s obvious that a large number who would have gone to the GP, didn’t, and now they’re worse and need treatment more quickly.

Same with furlough. Maybe Sunak should have said “we are going to pay you to stay at home, but we strongly suggest that you save some of this money as pumping millions of pounds into the economy will cause inflationary pressures”. To have that economic shock then compounded by a war in Europe and the effect on energy prices, and then to cap it all, the economic shock of China repeatedly shutting down, it’s kind of a miracle that things aren’t worse really.

Also, the news does, obviously, only report the bad stuff. When we visited the U.K. in the summer, the news was full of delays at Heathrow, lost bags etc, but it was like clockwork. Also reported towns dying, again, the towns I went to, plus London, we’re bustling and thriving. Theme parks were chockas, restaurants busy.

We also had to go to hospital - not A and E but it was an emergency appointment and it was on time, thorough, and I can’t fault the service at all.

I know the U.K. has some issues - but im in my mid 40s and the recession in the 90s really did turn towns into ghost towns, people would just hand their keys back to the bank, it was a worrying time, but it got better. I guess I just assume that every country goes through good and bad bits and every country is suffering with this a bit at the moment.

babyyodaxmas I think you've possibly misunderstood me. I actually don't believe anyone is truly self-sufficient. I believe very strongly that we're here to help one another, and true self-sufficiency isn't really possible.
So that's not what I meant. Of course almost everyone will be/is being affected by the current state of things. What I meant was that if you've already experienced adversity, and life's a bit pants anyway, the current hit is not so shocking. Not so far to fall etc. Also, speaking personally, I've given up on the idea that my joy comes from a successful career or home ownership or whatever. I've learnt to find joy in very simple not-hard-to-come-by things; which the current situation is unlikely to take away just yet. When the climate crisis fully hits, it'll be different.
I hope I've explained it better. Sorry if I didn't explain myself properly before.

Yep, that's the thing. Sorry if you've had a hard time too

I think you've explained yourself very well OP and also seem very empathetic. There are ups and downs in life, but some have been dealt a rubbish hand. For me, it seems that at a time when society really needs to pull together, we are hugely divided. Hope things work out for all the posters going through a tough time.

Agreed.

Oh bum. Name change fail (already posted on thread, not a deliberate sock puppet!)

I like genealogy and I recognise that a lot of my ancestors experienced the end of the world - whether that was a mini ice age, revolution, plague, war or famine. They had to migrate quite a bit. Collapse isn’t exactly unusual and that gives me perspective. I am ND and have had mental illness since I was a very young child. These are inherited and I can see that they conferred some survival skills on my family already, but also a fuck tonne of additional pain and suffering.

I can’t see how this makes things easier.

I will go against the grain and say I hated lockdown as being stuck inside was the opposite of alleviating for my anxiety. It was actually my nightmare. Having to work and do childcare at the same time was also completely beyond my capabilities. The whole thing did me genuine harm. As a threat scanning sort of person I saw it coming too - made my husband start the panic buying in Jan 2020 and he thought I was mad. Though we are managing I’m not enjoying the cost of living crisis either as it’s harming my ability to do the things and pay for the things that would help me get well and of course the NHS is no help at all with anything mental. I’m grateful for what we have and I don’t desire things like
clothes or cars or fancy meals.

Impending climate collapse is also hugely scary because I don’t feel it’s predictable in how it will fall on us. I have very few practical skills like recognising plants, growing food, fixing and building things that might become important at some point and I’m anxious about how I’m going to acquire these skills and at what point I can transform my old world 9 to 5 life into one that reflects the new reality. And of course you can’t say these things out loud. As a ND person I’m used to faking a facade but even still, I don’t find it easy - it hurts me to constantly live inside an act.

So no. I think I can only say that thanks to my background I am aware of what’s happening and not experiencing normalcy bias like many still are but I am still suffering with it all. I don’t fell smug about it. It’s all awful.

Thank you @TurquoiseBeach and @longleggitybeastie ❤️