Did covid screw anyone else's life up?

[girlmeetsboy]

Interested to hear on this as I have been reading a thread where people loved the solidarity of it all. For me it was redundancy, house lost, business lost and savings...

All I could see was mass brain washing. It was terrifying to see how readily people would accept being told what to do and what to think.

I have to admit I didn't think as much as I should have about the impact on kids. But my kids were younger then - year 1 and year 4, so I was naive about how much more complex kids get as they grow & also the fact that for some kids routine is essential.

I also feel like my youngest saw that school could simply "disappear" so he disengaged with it at that point and has never really believed in it again, if that makes sense.

"I also feel like my youngest saw that school could simply "disappear" so he disengaged with it at that point and has never really believed in it again, if that makes sense"

Unfortunately, this does make sense. Once children become disengaged from learning it is so very difficult to get them to engage again. And the consequences are catastrophic for both the individual child and for the wider society.

Can I suggest you try to get him back on track as soon as you can. School may or may not be helping with this but there are things you can do. Taking up a new hobby like horseriding, a martial art, or swimming could be a start. Joining clubs such as scouts or a lego club might also help. Anything at all that gets your child interested in new experiences will help him at school. Or get him some extra tuition with literacy - one to one can work wonders even if it is only for a short time. Believe me, I know what works. I have worked with children like your son for years - and I have three children of my own who all went through bad patches at school at one time or another.

I think there was a considerable psychological impact on a lot of people who struggled to deal with how things could just disappear, but it makes sense that it would be worse for children.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4203607-If-youre-still-sticking-to-ALL-the-rules-guidance-why

I happened across this post from March 2021, a year into the pandemic. Poster was absolutely slaughtered for saying they weren't sticking to all the rules. That was really common on here.

A friend I volunteer with lives in a cul de sac in a small village with a high proportion of retired people. Someone who lived in her street positioned themselves at the window of their house with a notepad, noting down when people left the house and when they returned. People got notes through the door if this self-appointed covid monitor thought they'd been out too long. It was complete madness in this country for a long time.

If I never hear the word "selfish" again it will be too soon.

Blimey! I wasn't posting on here then, it would've been quite the hoo ha if I'd have told them exactly how many rules me and mine were sticking to at that point!

That thread omg

That was the atmosphere on MN for months and months - it was absolutely toxic. Anyone even mildly questioning ‘the rules’ was torn to shreds. I wonder if any of those posters have revised their view since? They’re awfully quiet now.

If I never hear the word "selfish" again it will be too soon

Oh yes, and resilience.

All the sanctimonious MNers saying everyone was weak and stupid and just needed to be more resilient, especially children. And of course all the nonsense about parents being too lazy to teach their kids - who knew we didn't need teachers and schools! What's the education budget again - Sunak/Hunt could save billions, right there.

A friend I volunteer with lives in a cul de sac in a small village with a high proportion of retired people. Someone who lived in her street positioned themselves at the window of their house with a notepad, noting down when people left the house and when they returned. People got notes through the door if this self-appointed covid monitor thought they'd been out too long. It was complete madness in this country for a long time

I think I would have been putting a note through the covid monitor's door telling them to mind their own effing business!

A lot of them seemed to appear during Covid, stoke panic on every thread, then go. Bit suspect

Indeed. We did more or less stick to the rules but that was also because we didn't have any reason to break them, or everyone around us was complying - you can't visit people or do activities if they don't want to see you or the activities are closed.

We didn't always comply with guidance, in that particular lockdown I drove for exercise, for example - I met a friend who lived about 5 miles away. I am in England. I would have done it in Wales as well despite their stupid (and sexist) rules (sexist because women often don't feel that they can exercise alone in the dark and after dark might be the only time you can do it in the winter when you work).

I think I would have been putting a note through the covid monitor's door telling them to mind their own effing business!

YY @reigatecastle I do wonder how more of these people weren't told to get back in their boxes. I never experienced anything like that, it's not the done thing where I live, but if I had there'd have been a response.

This was an unknown, contagious condition which no-one knew anything about. It's really easy with the benefit of hindsight (and vaccinations) to say what we should have done, but all we knew in 2020 was that the NHS was struggling terribly, people were on beds in corridors and there were many deaths. I broke the rules early in lockdown because my father is very elderly and living on his own. I used to drive to near his front door and open up the boot of the car. He put a wine glass on a little table by his front door and step back. I'd fill his glass and sit in the boot with my glass of wine and we'd chat a few feet away from each other. Do I look back and say I was stupid doing that? No. I knew that he'd be desperately unhappy without company and he hated not having hugs. But his estranged partner had died of Covid and I didn't want to be the one to give it to him. Chris Whitty is an intelligent man. I never thought he was trying to manipulate us or that he was telling us lies.
Many adults and children suffered and continue to suffer because of the isolation and the actions of certain members of government were appalling - but most were trying to do their best to keep us alive. I'm grateful for that and so glad I didn't have to make the decisions they had to.

Bloody hell - that thread! Hard to believe it's from this century, let alone less than 2 years ago! By March 2021, I was pretty much of the same opinion of the OP on that thread but will be honest and say I probably wouldn't have dared voice it and confess to our rule breaking. We followed the rules initially, despite thinking some of them were bonkers, but by Christmas 2020, we'd had enough! We didn't have our usual big family Christmas Day (we were in tier 4 - remember that?), more for fear of being grassed up by the neighbours, although we did sneak in an "illegal" family member who would've been alone otherwise. Next day we had a "socially distanced" present exchange with the wider family, which before long had moved inside (too cold!) with music, booze and takeaway until the early hours. It was our secret, we felt like naughty school kids but now so glad we did it! After that, we "secretly" broke many more rules - friends in the house, driving outside our tier etc, etc Don't regret any of it.

I was in a WhatsApp group in the height of the pandemic, where one friend suggested we report any unfamiliar cars we saw in our street. My opinion of that particular friend has changed forever, although I expect they would never speak to me again if they knew my rule breaking behaviour!

Despite my lapse attitude to the rules in the latter part of the pandemic, I still feel Covid screwed up the life of my family. My teenage daughter has severe MH issues, thanks to being denied contact with peers at a crucial time in her development. I'm fucking furious at the attitude that nothing mattered but Covid and I hate how nasty and judgemental many people became. We'll continue to see the fall out of this for many years to come.....

I was fucking terrified. Did anybody else see the footage from China, of people being dragged out of their homes? Welded into apartment blocks?

So when I got covid - April 2020 - and couldn't breathe, I thought I was probably going to die. I didn't even tell anyone how scared I was. I just remember thinking I wanted to die in my bed, not be dragged into one of the bloody gym halls to be looked after by medics in hazmat suits, and die away from my family.

I think it's maybe worth remembering that there was total uncertainty about Covid at the time. Lots of people were terrified, anxious, worried and isolated. Yes, lockdowns were fucking awful, but we were trying to save lives and most of the time doing our best with very little knowledge - I think that goes for govt, too.

I didn't 'police' anyone's actions, but I try not to judge those who did (or those who mocked me for being anxious, or suggested I'd just imagined having Covid). We were operating in extremely unusual and trying circumstances. People hit out when they're scared. Collective recovery from trauma probably requires us to forgive a bit, as well as maybe sharing our own fears and anger.

It's really easy with the benefit of hindsight (and vaccinations) to say what we should have done, but all we knew in 2020 was that the NHS was struggling terribly, people were on beds in corridors and there were many deaths.

Well, no. That's not all we knew.

We knew at the time that humans are social animals, and that millions of people in the UK live alone. We knew at the time that the lockdown we chose would cause terrible suffering to many vulnerable groups such as children and people living with abusers (some of which is actually detailed in previous pandemic planning, Lucy Easthope talks a lot about this). We knew at the time that some people lived in circumstances that were going to make being expected to stay at home much harder than others. We knew at the time that police moving people on if they sat on benches meant some people would lose access to fresh air and exercise, and that this would be detrimental to health, and we also knew that these were going to be disproportionately people who were already underprivileged. There is none of this that wasn't abundantly obvious in February 2020, and this is just the basics.

This is before we even start to consider things that we didn't yet know for certain but that were bleeding obvious, such as the impact of the deliberate decision by the government to try and frighten the population into compliance on those with existing mental health conditions.

The worst was neighbours bullying you into clapping for the NHS on Thursdays! People were being named and shamed on local social media if they didn't.

Fully agree that a lot of the negative consequences were entirely foreseeable and common sense to anyone with half a brain. Likewise it was obvious that excluding 3 million workers from the support schemes would have dire consequences in terms of business failures, bankruptcies, house repossessions and suicides. Again, blatantly obvious what would happen if you close down people's livelihoods without compensating and/or supporting them.

I didn't clap, DH didn't clap. People could name and shame if they want. When a neighbour mentioned the "lovely communal feeling" I told her we weren't doing it as one of my kids was a nurse, working 100 some weeks as they were so short staffed, caught it themself and asked me not to clap as they didn't want clapping they wanted PPE, safe conditions at work and a pay rise. Nothing more was said.

We never once clapped. I wasn’t aware of anyone doing it in our village.

some absolute LOON tried to get everyone to clap for our postman. Thankfully, no one took her up on her plan.

I remember sticking to the rules until I was diagnosed with cancer in may 2020. After that my brothers, sister and parents along with assorted in-laws and kids were visiting outside nearly everyday.

in June I was sent home on hospice after being told I had a matter of weeks to live. My family came to my house pretty much every day. I was in a hospital bed in my living room and managed to get outside once in a wheelchair and with oxygen for a wedding blessing in my back garden.

I’ve no idea how many were there but it was a lot and I don’t feel badly about it at all, there was other stuff going on. My husband literally couldn’t have coped without that support. We had an 8 week old baby and 2 other kids both under the age of 10. We needed the help. Not only that but I had district nurses coming into my home every day, they didn’t bat an eye lid at family members being in the house, they understood what we were going through.

The worst was neighbours bullying you into clapping for the NHS on Thursdays! People were being named and shamed on local social media if they didn't.

Oh god the clapping. I refused after the first couple of weeks to the embarrassment of my family, not that I didn't appreciate the staff but found it trite and futile. Seeing my Tory voting neighbours going all out with their pots & pans wound me right up. Our local Facebook page was awful during the pandemic and regularly had "shame on xxx Road, not many people clapping tonight" Horrible times.

@Padfoot01 so sorry to read your post but glad your family put aside the rules to be there for you x

Really worried about the damage done to children and teenagers during lockdown and noticed a real jump in the number of overweight kids in the past two years.

When I look back, the memory of (open air) playground gates locked and bolted for three months makes me so angry, that was just a particular overreach, I think. And completely insane.