Does anyone else hate ice breakers in meetings?

[asblindasabat]

I bloody hate them. Sometimes I just don’t know how to answer them. For example, “what are your dislikes?” - I can’t think of anything appropriate to respond to that in a professional environment - saying I dislike fake people probably wouldn’t look to good!

I also hate “what are your favourite movies?” - I don’t really watch movies so I couldn’t tell you the names of most of them and it really makes me look boring!

anyone else just hate them?

WTAF?!

I’d think the ‘facilitator’ was a comedian moonlighting as a trainer and was using this as material for their next gig.

WTF??!! No way would I participate in that. I would flat refuse.
Though I get that a lot of us older refuseniks feel more able to refuse thanks to our age. In my twenties I probably wouldn't have wanted to draw attention to myself by refusing. Honestly, in this day and age I'd be worried there were hidden cameras somewhere and we would all find ourselves photoshopped into some porn film or something.

I must be really lucky: Ice breakers in my industry are limited to: name, role, previous work experience.

Crosspost TheBulletThatMissed

Anyway we sung the 12 days of Christmas that had been changed to reflect the work we were doing.

Ooh, I'm cringing for the facilitator now! Do you remember any of the lyrics? Was it like "On the first day of Christmas, my team delivered me a new marketing strategeeee" ?!

The two lies and a truth is a bit variable, because the lies might be outrageous (or be true and sound outrageous) or just be slight changings of very similar facts.

"Mine are as follows: I once killed a man after I was determined to finish the job off properly; I'm 36 years old and I was born in Bolton....."

"Right, then, I'm actually only 35 years old and I was born in Bury, so those two were lies."

Then you suddenly excuse yourself to go to the toilet, take half an hour and then come back to most guaranteed silent, icy atmosphere ever - before you say "Sorry, not killed, I meant 'billed'!

Some of these sound really traumatic

As someone a bit introverted I find them really stressful. I really overthink and I loathe being put on the spot.

Lots of the meetings I do are on Teams still. I've recently cottoned on to joining 5 mins late - means the ice breaker stuff has either already finished or is partway through and i 'miss out'. I don't care if anyone notices and thinks it's unprofessional 🤣

Ugh. I feel just the same. And 'team building' stuff is just as bad.

I had a straight-out-of-university team leader once who decided to run a weekly quiz, with a small, plastic trophy cup passed round/recycled to the winner, along with a few sweets, as a team 'morale booster.'

The team was mostly 40+ people who felt as bloody insulted and belittled as I did.

Love this!!

"I always tell the truth is the lie", right?

Brilliant!! I absolutely want to have an event with an ice breaker right now to try that one out. 😂

I'm torn. Some of these are awful.

But, I know I can't go onto a room and make small talk over biscuits. I'm just not able to do it - I've literally hidden during the coffee break at conferences or similar where I should be trying to make connections. I also have trouble with faces, so panic about remembering who people are - or worse, mix them up with someone else later.

So I really appreciate something to help make connections. I actively take notes about people to keep track of who's who. I suppose the duration and type of event and/or working relationship dictates how useful that is.

And I also find I am more likely to contribute if there has been a silly ice breaker. Laughing with people - even if it's about how stupid the icebreaker topic is - makes me more comfortable.

@SpringIntoChaos what is it with school academies and this notion you want to spend time with other teachers from other schools learning NOTHING about teaching. I hate all this bullshit now.

I'm wondering if we're in the same academy 🤔

It's bullshit isn't it? And ours is now just a total Boys Club too, all polishing each other's balls 🤬

I hate them. It puts me off going to meetings. The advantage of virtual meetings/training during covid if they didn't happen.

Luckily the last one I went to in person didn't do any bar going round the room and asking you to say your name and your school (or business if appropriate). I can manage that. Hate the rest.

I don't know anyone who actually likes them.

Why on earth do they still exist?

I don't think that's true.

On almost every course I've been in people arrive slightly early.
When sat down with a coffee they tend to naturally make small talk with those in their table anyway. The course members are almost already talking to one another, with small talk about their name, where they've come from, the journey here, at the moment that is feels strange to back to face to face training, etc.

Then the trainer has to stop everyone talking just to do some silly ice breaker, that everyone cringes about doing and makes half the room clam up.

Maybe if everyone is sat silently before they may be a little bit beneficial, but tbh if that's the case then you'll probably find the ice broker isn't going to be overly successful anyway.

In which case - everyone there needs to feel confident enough to contribute.
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I don't need some ice breaker to contribute to the actual training.
Once talking about the actual work I will join in and discuss that quite happily.
I will make small talk over a cup of coffee and a biscuit on my table.

However to have to stand up and say some nonsense about my likes and dislikes, truths and lies and other pointless stuff - no. Hate every second and it puts me completely out of my comfort zone. I'm almost 50 and good at what I do at work. I don't need to be pushed out of my comfort zone when attending some mandatory safeguarding course, fire training and even if doing a training session on something I've chosen myself. It's not necessary.

As for role play exercises - urgh!

As for role play exercises - urgh!

Oh yes-those things. Just horrific. Ours were filmed and then played back frame by frame to be picked apart by the group. Excruciating.

The team was mostly 40+ people who felt as bloody insulted and belittled as I did.

Wow, what 40yo wouldn't treasure some rubbish that came sellotaped to this month's CBeebies comic?!

I don't need some ice breaker to contribute to the actual training.

Yeah, I wonder if there's an element of 'doth protest too much' implicit in these ridiculous patronising tasks that some extreme extroverts seem to consider essential.

Just because they can't be ordinary adults who can contribute and collaborate fine well with people they didn't know before after a brief introduction, they assume that nobody can do so without a stupid playground game.

Love them or let loathe them, they work! If you get everyone in the room to say something in the first 10 minutes - even if it's something stupid, or they hate it or its really cringy, they are much more likely to participate during the rest of the workshop. It means everyone has already been out of their comfort zone and so don't feel shy anymore. I know they're awkward but they do make a difference.

So all you people who suffer from shyness or who hate public speaking can stop worrying. You just need to define yourself as a biscuit and you’ll be cured. Shyness gone!

Bollocks do they work. All they do is unite 99% of the room in a dislike of both the course and the trainer. Just teach us what we need to do then bugger off so we can get back to our jobs. If you want audience participation, go and get a job at Butlins.

No, enforced humiliation may 'work' in achieving its objectives, but so did Guantanamo Bay....

What is so wrong with being in your comfort zone, anyway? Why does it always have to be ripped away? Why do we only think that people can be of use to us if they aren't comfortable and secure in their surroundings?

Nobody would dream of asking a wheelchair-using employee to get up out of it for 10 minutes, so that everybody can 'laugh' and 'bond' over their discomfort, pain and humiliation when they fall flat on the floor feeling extreme vulnerability and loss of dignity - albeit gaslit to pretend that they find it hilarious too.

Therefore, why would you ask somebody with - not necessarily a disability as such - but with ASD, a very introverted personality type, a recently-bereaved person, somebody going through a miscarriage, somebody who is unable to afford to feed their kids - any number of needs, disabilities, conditions or challenging circumstances - to pretend that their life is all rainbows and lollipops, and actually believe that you've helped them? How is that any more helpful than telling somebody with clinical depression to 'cheer up, love' or 'snap out of it', as though it's that simple and they've never thought of that before?

Others will strongly disagree, but I actually think that enforced jollity (or, more accurately, enforced pretend jollity) can stray into controlling and abusive territory.

😂😂 fun fact : in my spare time I like to French plait my pubic hair.

There you go 🤷‍♀️👏😂

Much prefer to get the meeting and the work done and go home and put ice into my gin!

My boss and manager don't have filters for their mouths (my manager in particular. BTW, both are female.) Our turnover rate is horribly high. Once, during a company in office meal to welcome two new recruits, the boss decided to play two truths and a lie. One of the new recruits was so embarrassed at being treated like a teen during a sleepover that she demurred and lied. I had to volunteer to take her place 'to give her time to think.'

It was really painfully embarrassing.
FWIW. Both 'new recruits' left shortly after.

Perhaps more accurate — does anyone like them?😂

Perhaps more accurate — does anyone like them?😂

I'm not even convinced that the people who provide them enjoy them - they just figure that they can make four times as much playing cringey games in a corporate environment than they can by dressing as Boppo the Clown at children's parties and run with it.